A-"I'm turning 30 tomorrow
And I- I mean, it blows my mind. I've been making videos on YouTube since I was 17. Like, literally my entire adult life
I've been making videos for so long-" ???-"Anthony."
A-"Jesus Christ!
Hello?"
???-"Okay, here's the deal
I'm the ghost of birthdays past and I've come to show you what your life was like before you started YouTube."
A-"This isn't a really good time.
I'm in the middle of making a video, and do you think you could come back tomorrow
and do whatever this is? My calendar is pretty free, all I have is 'wake up and
beg people to like my newest photo on Instagram.'
Ghost 1- "This is you just ten and a half years old when you were still innocent..."
Young Anthony- "Cheater!
"Stupid game." A-"The final boss in the game is ridiculously hard for a ten-year-old." Young A- *swearing* "Stupid!
"Broken game!" Ghost 1 - "Have you always been like this?" A- "Come on the difficulty spike in the game is crazy. Have you played it?"
*silence from ghost* A-"Yeah, okay, that's why I thought." *young Anthony continuously swearing*
Ghost 1- "Okay, maybe this was a bad example, let's try something else.
This is the night just before you learned what YouTube was." A- "oh no no no no no..."
*screamo music while teenage Anthony strums air guitar*
A- "I thought you gonna show me that and this is exactly what you're showing!
Why are you showing me this?" Ghost 1- "In order to understand your current self you have to understand your past self."
A- "I can't! I can't, okay? This is traumatizing! Stop! Please, for the love of God, just make it stop!
I want to go back to making my video. I can't take this anymo-
I'm sorry.
As I was saying I've been making videos since I was 17 years old- my entire adult life, and now I'm almost thirty. And it's just-."
Ghost 2- "Anthony."
"I just wanna finish making this video, please! For the love of God, what do you want?"
G2- "I am the ghost of birthdays present." A- "Wait, you got me a birthday present?"
G2- "No, I'm the ghost of birthdays present!" A-" I mean, if you got me a birthday present,
I'm totally down to stop shooting this for a second." G2- "Nope! I'm the ghost of current time birthday" A- "oh."
G2- "I've come to show you what the world is like in your current state.
In your current situation! This is what the world looks like right now."
A- "This is what my life looks like right now." G2- "Yes, you can't believe it, can you?"
"Yeah, anyway like I was saying I've been making videos for so long,
that I don't even know if I really-." G3- "Anthony!" A- "Seriously? I
just- I just wanna finish this video!
G3 - "I'm the ghost of birthdays future." A- "Great." G3- "I have something important to show you." A- "Oh, yes, is it my future?"
G3- "It's your future."
A- "Can't wait to see what this is." *sarcasm is practically tangible*
Future A- "Get this side, this side's my good side. This side's my good side. Can you get this side, bitch?" A- "Is that me?"
G3 - "This is the red carpet event for your first theatrical film. You left YouTube to become a movie star."
A- "I end up being a main actor in my own...
Hollywood movie?"
TV- "Anthony Padilla's first feature-length film, 'Padildo Baggins' is a complete and utter failure putting, Lionsgate
76 million dollars in the hole." A- "What?" G3- "After your box office disaster,
The film industry uses your failure as an example and never
supports another youtuber again. This coupled with that,
you decide go back to YouTube despite all
advertisers pulling out of YouTube after a youtuber used racial slurs in their video." A- "Who? Who did that?" *overlapping* "It doesn't
help that your good looks start to fade and no one watches your videos anymore.
Your only resort to becoming a podcaster in hopes of securing a sponsorship.
But you can't convince any guests to appear on your show now that you're completely irrelevant and old. Once you realize you have no
real-world skills to turn to, you start a patreon and beg your fans to pay you for no reason.
But not a single person does. But let's journey a bit further into your future."
A- "Please tell me this has some kind of a happy ending or something. I mean people already think I only make
depressing videos on this channel and
this is incredibly upsetting.
I died?"
G3 -"Yes."
I just realized my entire adult life has been documented on YouTube.
And it's it's kind of crazy for me to look back at how much has changed for me. Not
just ya know, in the way I looked, but my entire perception of myself and life in general.
I'm not even present half the time in my present-day life because I
spend all my time
glorifying the past and completely skipping over the embarrassing or bad moments to romanticize
only the nostalgic ones. If I spend all my time
living in the past,
I'll lose sight of myself,
and I'll make all my decisions based on fear and not on my excitement or passion;
and I could end up going down some dark paths that will lead me to live a
a very miserable and
unfulfilled life.
Is that all right? Is that what you guys were trying to get at?" G1,2,3- *various* "No. Not quite.
No, we were mostly saying that you've always had a boring life, but then some crazy shit happens
And then you die at 87 years old, which is actually a pretty reasonable age to die." A- "True."