Heya playa, is there someone that you like but you're not quite sure how they feel about you?
You want to make sure that you can end up potentially being a boyfriend to them and
not someone that's going to end up in the friend zone, so how do you do that?
Don't worry, in this video, I'm going to walk you through the steps you need to take to make
sure that you can end up in a potential dating zone with that person and not someone that they
view as a brother or a close friend that they can never imagine being romantic with.
When you're not quite sure how someone feels about you your natural instinct is to observe
how the two of you interact to really get a deeper sense of whether or not there's something there.
But before I dive into any of the interactive pieces, you need to ask yourself that question:
Are you making an honest effort to actually interact with that
person or do you just like them from a distance?
Sometimes people want to play it so safe that they never even talk to that person.
They're just waiting for the right moment or
hoping a conversation naturally starts and that's not really gonna happen.
You need to make that effort in starting that interaction with them
if you want to potentially be a boyfriend to them sometime in the future.
Let's say the two of you are talking pretty regularly though.
You're having conversations on Instagram, in class, outside of school, wherever it may be.
If you start to notice they're bringing up people that they like, people that they want to date,
or even people that they've dated in the past, try to avoid those conversations entirely.
When a girl starts talking about her potential dating life and you're not
someone that she mentions in that potential roundup, chances are she views you as a friend.
She feels comfortable enough to share this information with you because she
thinks that you're someone that's not threatening, not going to be upset,
not going to flip out on her if she tells you about other guys that she likes.
This point might seem like a no-brainer but sometimes it's so subtle we don't even catch it.
When you like someone you tend to overlook these little things that they say because
your feelings are getting in the way, the girl might end up slipping something into
the conversation like "oh my god, this guy keeps texting me. I think he likes me" or
"oh my god this other guy is so cute, what do you think?".
For some guys, they might hear that and respond defensively
knowing that the girl that they like may potentially date someone else.
You fall into the trap of just kind of validating the things that she's saying about other guys.
You might find yourself saying stuff like "oh of course they like you,
you're so beautiful" or "who wouldn't want to date you?".
Which is actually going to hurt you in the long run.
Another mistake that guys tend to make when a girl that they like says something like
"oh my god you're such a good friend" or "you're like a brother to me" is that they
acknowledge that statement and go along with it or they ignore it and never address it.
Acknowledging and accepting it might lead you to say something back to her like "oh my
god you're such a good friend too" all the while thinking, yeah we're getting so close and there's
a potential for us to date but you're actually locking yourself deeper into that friend zone
because you are recognizing that she views you as that and that now you view her as that too.
Ignoring it though might be just as bad.
I get it that when a girl says something like you're a brother to me, it can sting.
It can make you feel horrible inside because you think well, I like you,
I don't want to be just a brother to you so you shut her out, you don't say anything thinking if
you don't talk about it, you don't recognize it, you don't acknowledge it, then it never happened.
But that's just not true, there's nothing that has happened that's going to change her perspective.
She's going gonna keep feeling the way that she does about you and making those comments
all the while thinking "hey he didn't say anything about it so it's not a problem"
and when enough of those interactions start to happen there's gonna be a point where you
can't take it anymore and you just feel that deep desire to flip out and say
something really really mean or retreat internally and not say anything at all.
To deal with that hurt and not find a healthy way to express those feelings.
So here's what i think you should do, the most important piece is to be honest with yourself.
If you have these deep feelings for someone, don't hide them away.
Don't pretend like they don't exist.
Don't settle for something with that person that you don't really want.
We often think it's girls who put us in the friend zone but the reality is we put
ourselves there when we choose to accept a friendship under totally false pretenses.
So if the girl you like is talking to you about other guys,
redirect that conversation to be about how the two of you can connect even better.
Ask her something about herself, share something about yourself.
Let her know I'm not too concerned with him or what he's doing,
I really want to know more about you.
Or if she drops one of those gut-punching lines that's like "Oh my god you're such a
good friend! You're like the best friend I've ever had", be honest with her.
Let her know "Hey, I don't see you as just a friend and I don't really just
want to build a friendship with the two of us."
That might be incredibly scary and hard to do
but it's necessary to get yourself out of that potential friend zone.
Being honest is not about unloading all of your deep, hidden, secret,
passionate feelings for her that you've kept locked away forever, instead, it's letting her
know that you're interested in the idea of pursuing something with her going forward.
You can reveal those feelings as you get closer to her but
don't do it as a rebellious response just because she called you a friend.
Putting your confidence on display is one of the best moves that you can make to take a step
up from where you currently are but there is one little caveat that I don't want to leave out
and that might be that you might, just might potentially lose them entirely from your life.
Yeah about that, just because you put yourself out there and put your
feelings on display doesn't mean the other person is going to feel the exact same way.
They may have just viewed your interactions as being friendly and they may see you in that role
so now that they know that you like them, they know that when the two
of you interact you're not doing it as just a platonic friend which means that
it's gonna be hard to maintain the status quo of what you had before.
Now that your feelings are out in the open this is something that you need to decide though.
If you want to potentially be her boyfriend you're gonna have to start flirting with her,
you're gonna have to ask her out, you're gonna have to start doing things that you
weren't doing before and a big part of that is responding to the way that she categorizes you.
Catching her whenever you feel like she's saying something that's putting you back in the friend
zone, acknowledging it, pointing it out, and then changing the course of how you talk to her.
I know that deep down you have what it takes to be somebody great.
Maybe you just needed some words of encouragement,
maybe you needed someone to acknowledge that the situation is difficult, I get it.
I've been there before.
I know exactly what you're going through, but trust me
in the end it's going to be worth it because you're going to be true to yourself.
You're going to stand up for how you feel,
you're really going to just be your best self through and through.
If you still feel like you're dealing with the stigma of the friend zone,
check out the videos over there on the side. where I'm going to break down tons
of small steps that you could start taking to change the way you interact with your crush,
with girls, and just how you choose to present yourself.
I think those tips are going to be super helpful so check them out and I'll catch you next time.
As always, love and peace.