- Dirk?
- Yeah.
- Brayden?
- I'm here.
- Amy?
- Here.
- Oh, is the play tonight?
- No, why?
- Nevermind.
(jazzy music)
- Okay, class, since it's our first day of rehearsal,
let's all go around the room,
say our names, and something about us that isn't obvious.
- Oh, hey, I'm Greg,
and I've made out with everyone in this class.
- Me too.
Hi, I'm Ashley, and I get very sensual back rubs.
- Hey, I'm Amy, and I have pink and blue hair.
- Amy, that's kind of obvious.
Why don't you tell us something about your personality?
- Having pink and blue hair is my personality.
- No, it isn't.
That's an attribute,
not a personality trait.
- I don't see the difference.
- I know.
- Well, I really like your personality.
- Oh my God, thank you.
I just got to redyed last week.
Oh.
- So tight.
- Yes, so tight.
The most tight, super tight.
- Thank you.
- Okay, everyone for our fall play,
we're actually going to be doing a one act
written by our very own Daniel Cross.
(groaning)
- Can't we do a real play?
So it's actually good?
- It's going to be too moody and
probably a rip off of Dear Evan Hansen.
- It's actually more like Cats.
- The worst, that's worse.
- See, you didn't let me finish.
The lead cat kills himself,
so it's like Cats mixed with Dear Evan Hansen.
It's called Dear Evan Hairball.
(disgusted groaning)
(gentle music)
- Yeah, like my jete did not go up.
- All right, everybody circle up.
Circle up - Shut the (bleep) up
- and make a circle, dammit.
- Thank you, Rachel.
Today's performance was good, but not great.
Pete, you need to hit your mark
a little bit sooner in the second act.
- What, did you fall asleep?
You have one line, dumb ass.
Hit your mark and say it!
- Emily, your song was just a little bit flat.
- A little flat?
We should start calling you (bleep)ing pancake notes.
It was so (bleep)ing flat!
- Rachel?
- Yeah?
- You are not the director,
so please just cool it.
- You're right.
You're the assistant director, you stupid piece of garbage.
You are trash!
Now hit yourself in the face.
No, it's going to hurt.
Do it or I'll do it for you.
That's it, you asked for it.
Ow!
(bleep)
(bleep) me.
- God, I (bleep)ing love theater.
(gentle music)
- Hi, I'm Braden.
- And I'm Kylie.
- [Both] And we want you to join the drama club.
- It's so fun.
- Everyone is welcome.
You could be a weirdo or an outcast.
- Hmm, yeah, I'll do your stupid dumb idiot play.
- I'm sorry Dirk,
but we're only inclusive to outcasts and weirdos, so.
- So you're saying I got cast.
Yes!
Dirk Dirksen again!
Yeah!
- Oh my God, he's too stupid to insult.
Yes, Dirk, you got the lead!
- Nice, I can't make any of the rehearsals.
- Okay.
- Hey, catch, dude.
(gasping)
- Okay, this is the cast list.
If you didn't get the role you wanted,
don't come to me about it.
- Yes, I got it.
I got the lead,
which is no surprise,
because I'm already off book.
I'll be in a Broadway play this time next year.
- Congratulations, Kelly.
You're so talented.
You deserve it, oh my God.
And that's good acting.
She can't act her way out of a paper bag.
Broadway, my ass.
Ensemble?
What does Mr. Jensen know about talent anyway?
He's only claim to fame is an extra on Deadwood.
- I got cast as Tree Number Two.
- Oh my God, Tony, I'm so sorry.
- No, that makes sense.
I've never been good at acting as people.
My parents have always said that,
but trees, trees I understand.
Half their body buried in the ground.
What are you hiding, tree?
What are you hiding?
Secrets!
- Oh my god.
- And that's why we never say the name of the Scottish play.
- You mean Macbeth?
(groaning)
- Sorry to interrupt.
Is this the Mary Antel Robert Griffith Jr.
Dudley Doolittle Amanda Reese Vermont
Eggsington George Washington,
but not that George Washington, Theater?
- Well, it was,
but then we received another large donation,
so we had to add yet another name onto the theater.
I believe it's Jason Kowsich.
- Okay, so it's the Jason Kowsich Mary Antel
Robert Griffith, Jr. Dudley Doolittle
Amanda Reese Vermont Eggsington Fark Worthington
George Washington, but not that George Washington, Theater.
- No, we added the name onto the back.
- Okay, so this is the Mary Antel Robert Griffith Jr.
Dudley Doolittle Amanda Reese Vermont Eggsington
Fark Worthington George Washington,
but not that George Washington, Jason Kowsich Theater.
- Yes, or also known as the MARGJDDARVEF
WGWBNTGWJK for short.
Now what can I do for you?
- I'm actually looking for Mr. Jensen.
- Oh, that's me.
- Well, your newly ex-wife is suing you for defamation.
So you've been served.
- (bleep)!
- And now a sample performance.
- Hey, boss, it happened again.
- How many times have I told you
not to tell me when it happens.
- I told you, I can't tell you every time
Mr. Tony does a lesson in the street every time.
- Tony, wait a minute.
Tony?
Why didn't you say so?
- A boss said he'll know.
Something was holding me back, like destiny.
- And it was at that moment that I knew
that we both had destiny on our minds.
That's what I get for being a kid in Jersey,
growing up without opportunity.
- Kiss me, boss.
- I can't, don't you get it?
Society.
- Society!
- Oh, it be darned.
(moaning)
We would kiss in the real performance.
We're being safe today.
- Yeah, we're being G rated.
She wanted us to be G rated, right?
- Yeah, that was lovely.
I don't want any touching.
- Did you know Hamilton was a real dude?
- I didn't know that.
- Yeah, right?
- Dude.
Did you ever notice that techie kid
Sarah always lurking around corners?
- Oh my gosh, yes.
She's just like always there.
- To be or not to be, that's the question.
Whether it would to be nobler.
(gentle music)
- When my parents would go to work,
I would stand outside in my backyard next to our Oak tree.
I learned to communicate with it.
He was a Republican,
so we had to stop being friends,
but I know what I will channel.
(slow scattered applause)
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
Actually, I wasn't upset at all.
That's acting. - Acting.
- Are you going to cry on cue?
Are you going to cry?
You gonna cry, baby Jensen?
- Your ex wife's now dating that super hot guy, right?
- Aw yes, AJ McLean.
(laughing)
He sounds successful.
- Good show, bud.
- Good job, you're sweating.
- I sure am.
Hi, I'm not Lin-Manuel Miranda,
and this is not Leslie Odom Jr.
- Not at all.
Hey, we just both of us, two famous people
want to thank you for watching this here Smosh video.
If you're not done watching Smosh,
why don't you click on this new one right here?
- And if you want to buy some merch, go to smosh.com.
- Or you can just click right on down here.
- Boom.
- Keith where can they subscribe?
- Right down here.
Punch that subscribe button like that.
- Do it, take that subscribe button
just like Hamilton stole those British cannons.
- That's right.
Monica, do you want to say something?
- No. - Okay, all right.