STOP Trying To Impress Women...Do THIS Instead [0:00:00]
Yeah, I know. I’m a hypocrite. I get it. I got tons of videos out there with millions
of views where I’m talking about ten things that a woman notices on a man, seven things
that a woman finds attractive on a guy. So, who am I then to tell you not to try to impress
women? Gents, here’s the truth. I titled those
videos to attract attention because that’s what guys are typing into the search engines.
That’s what guys are searching for. But, the reality, gents, is that this channel is
a lot more than just tips and tricks about how to attract women, a lot more than just
stylish suits. This channel is about helping you become the man you know yourself to be.
Gents, so many of you guys are struggling with self-confidence and it’s holding you
back from reaching your potential. You’re intimidated by women. You’re intimidated
by that beautiful girl that you’ve been wanting to speak to for months. Why? Because
you feel she has the power to reject you. So, how do I know this? Guys, because I’ve
been there, I’ve been rejected. Throughout high school, never had a girlfriend. Didn’t
even have the balls to actually ask out the girl that I was in love with for years. And,
I said in love, but the thing is it was an imaginary relationship. I never really told
her anything and I was so disappointed when I didn’t take her to prom and somebody else
came in and scooped her up. In college, again, didn’t have the cojones
to actually talk to women unless I have five shots of wild turkey. So, I’m depending
on alcohol. I’m just depending, yeah, I just didn’t ever, I – I was intimidated.
I was scared. I didn’t want to be rejected, so I decided I’m not even going to play
the game. Guys, it took me the better part of a decade
to figure this out, but there is another way. The secret, stop focusing in on other people,
stop trying to change other people, stop trying to manipulate other people and, instead, focus
in on yourself. Focus on becoming the best man that you can be.
Thanks Uncle Barry for the genera advice, but can you give me some specifics? Well,
yes, I can. So, the first story I want to share with you is the best job I ever had
in college which was building communication towers. If you’re not familiar what they
are, they’re the 200, 300, 1000-ft cell towers that you see around, basically allowing
communication around the globe. These towers have to be built by somebody.
I was one of those guys. We would show up and we would build the tower in a matter of
days. Other times, we were changing out light bulbs, painting them. The point is this was
hard challenging work and it’s scared me. And that’s the key, you want to do hard
work that really challenges you. It doesn’t have to really scare you like
climbing a tower. But, I know for me, that really taught me what my boundaries were,
that what I’m capable of. I never would have thought I could do this work. In fact,
I did it because it just paid so well and I needed the money. But, I also had friends
that were doing this work and they egg me on they said, “Hey. You can do this. I believe
in you.” And I was able to do it. I thought I was scared of heights. I never
thought I could get up on a tower, you know, 25 feet, let alone 250 feet just climb up
there. I was actually a pretty fast climber. I was skilled at it, I was good about it.
Now, I did have to compartmentalize and had to learn to ignore things. But, I learned,
hey, I can do this. I can accomplish this. And I put in a good hard day’s work and
it was a great way to develop confidence. The second lesson to develop yourself, keep
them guessing. Choose the path that is going to actually have the obstacle, the path that
is going to be difficult challenging path, which will shape you.
So many people, they’re predictable. You know why? They’re going to go down the easy
path. They’re like water. They just want to flow down the path of least resistance.
And, that was me going through college. In high school, I decided I wanted to be a
doctor. I don’t know why, I was going to help people. Oh, and they made money. So,
my junior year, my – I knew my sophomore year, but I kept going down this path. And
then, I made a decision, you know what? I am not going to do this. Now, what am I going
to do after college? And, I disappointed my family. I disappointed
a lot of people. I wasted a year of school. I had to actually go back take summer courses.
But, how am I going to make this up? What am I going to do? Am I going to do something
easy? No. I decided to do something to join the
United States Marine Corps. And, I didn’t do it because I was in love with the Marine
Corps. I thought, you know what? This is going to be tough. This is going to be very difficult.
My brother was a marine, my dad had been in the army, cousins in the air force. It’s
something my family had served, but everyone had served enlisted and I knew that OCS was
going to be tough. And I was scared if I – whether or not I was going to make it.
Here’s the thing is I took that path. That path that was very frightening and I knew
that, okay, even if I fail, you know I would know what I’m made of. And that is the thing,
you’ve got to challenge yourself. Nobody else can truly challenge you like you can
challenge yourself, like you can push yourself to the limit. You find out what your limit
is when you, yeah, you can’t bust through it and then you work to actually raise that
bar to raise that limit. And, I learned a lot about myself at OCS.
In many ways, that shaped me because I had a couple of staff sergeants that rode my – I
mean I barely got through. I’m not going to say I was an amazing officer my first couple
of years because I didn’t always have the right attitude. But, it was going through
and surrounding myself with these amazing enlisted men, these amazing other officers
that forced me to level up my game consistently. [0:04:54]
And by time I left the Marine Corps, I was a totally different person. And that’s what
I sought out. I surrounded myself with amazing people by seeking out challenge because when
you seek out challenge, you surround yourself with other people who seek challenge, who
seek obstacles. And all of a sudden just by default, you are leveled up.
Lesson number three. Do less, but do it better. So, when I started my first company, A Tailored
Suit, which ended up going into bankruptcy, I tried to do everything. I tried to be all
things to all people. But, what I found is that I when I was putting out information
at this other website, Real Men Real Style and a YouTube channel, Real Men Real Style,
is that people liked me because I would go deep in on suits. I would go deep in on tuxedos,
formal wears. I would just talk about shoes like nobody else was talking on the web at
that time about this. So, I realized it’s because I studied and
I was all self-taught, I read tons of these books. I wrote tons of articles. I called
up tailors, I talked to cobblers. And I was able to go deeper and I was able to do deep
work and that, gentlemen, is what’s going to get you paid. That, gentlemen, is what’s
going to separate you or your company is what’s going to keep you employed.
When you become a linchpin, when you can go deeper, when you are the expert and is valuable
to the company and you serve -- the more people you serve, the more specialized and hard it
is to replace you, I can tell you the more money you’re going to make.
Because something that’s valuable, something that is very difficult to replace, and something
that serves tons of people and brings them value, if you can find that tri-factor right
there, you are going to be in demand. And, gentlemen, that’s what you want to get to
understand is what’s truly valuable, serve people and go deep. Don’t be shallow. Go
deep, do less, and do it better. Next up, gents, become self-reliant. This
right here is going to separate you from so many people, when you know how to cook your
own food, you know how to sew, but also other things. You don’t depend on other people
for money because you’ve got very simple taste.
So, at my wedding, my wife’s mother gifted me and my wife $1,200. Now, it may not sound
like a lot of money, but to a woman in Ukraine that’s making $400 a month, that was three
months of her salary. And that was a big gift. I’ll never forget that and she’s got that
paid to her many times over because we definitely help her out now.
And, it’s something that I don’t know what your financial position is. I know for
a lot of you guys it’s very difficult right now, but you still can develop a habit of
saving. You can develop a habit, maybe it’s not saving money, but it’s saving food and
not wasting things. So many people out there, they’ve got these
crazy to think that they’re high taste, but they’re actually wasteful taste. There
are people out there that are driving vehicles they don’t need. They’re making payments
on three cars. Yeah, you got three people in your house, do you need three cars? Do
you need that huge house? This is a wakeup call for so many people I
think over the next few years to downsize to find ways to cut and to save. And, I know
for me, one of the best things that happen is going through a bankruptcy, going through
huge loss, and realizing, you know what? I don’t need fancy food, I don’t need a
fancy car, I don’t need a fancy house. I’ve got my family. We have our health. And really
what more – I mean we have – we’ve got basic shelter.
And I think when you can go through that, then all of a sudden, you find that these
things don’t impress you. You’re able to live not only a happier life, but you’re
able to give yourself runway for when you are having good times again, you’re able
to pay everything off. You’re able to start paying things in cash. You’re able to actually
see things for what they are and realize, yeah, there’s very few instances that I
want to go into debt especially on credit cards that have 20% interest.
The point here, guys, is when you’re not dependant on other people, you develop a deep
self-confidence of who you are and what you’re capable of doing.
Now, this next point is really important because so many guys don’t do this and to be honest,
it is the source of their lack of confidence. And that is they don’t value themselves.
Deep down, they don’t feel that they’re worthy. Deep down, they don’t feel that
they are good enough. That’s why she has the power that you feel
she can reject you. But, when you realize I am valuable, I am somebody worth actually
other people wanting, I’m a good person. I’m somebody, yeah, maybe that she’s not
the right one for me and if she rejects me, her loss.
But, here’s the thing. When you start to value and you love yourself and I’m not,
yeah, the whole self-love stuff. I’m not in the New Age stuff, but I am into a man
actually knowing who he is and realizing that we all have a purpose, that we all have this
gift of life. And, when you realized this, all of a sudden
that you see the light within yourself and you see it within others. And you realize,
she can’t reject me, she – no one has the power to make you feel less or little.
And, she just, yeah, it just wouldn’t have worked out, and you go on.
And that is the power, gentlemen. That’s when you switch, you turn the tables on everybody
because you realize, it’s -- you are happy with who you are and you realize that you
are a person who has a valuable life and life is always worth living.
All right, gents, I know you’ve got an opinion, so I want to hear from you down in the comments,
what did I miss, what would you have added to this video to make it better.
And what video to watch next? How about the style rules that every man needs to know once
and for all? [0:10:05] End of audio