Heya playa, have you ever found yourself sitting in class
trying to pay attention to the lesson but you just kept getting distracted?
Not by your classmates but by your teacher?
There's something about them that's so mesmerizing, so captivating, so attractive.
Well, if you've ever had a crush on your teacher, I want to walk you through how to manage those
feelings so that whenever you're around them or whenever you're in class you don't feel awkward.
First off, I just want to say that there's nothing wrong with having a crush on your teacher.
Think about it, you see them almost every single day.
You're staring directly at them as they're teaching you for 45 minutes to an hour.
Yeah, it makes sense that you might start to develop feelings for them.
It's really no different from how we develop feelings for celebrities that
we watch for two hours in a movie or every single week on a tv show.
The repetition of seeing someone doing something meaningful
over and over is gonna have an effect on you, so
a teacher you might not have ever thought of twice now suddenly you're all like, huh.
Before I tell you what you should do, let's just quickly first talk about what you shouldn't do.
If you're a student and you have feelings for your adult teacher you should not pursue them.
There's no situation where you should ask out that teacher, you should flirt with them,
you should give them your phone number or pursue them in any type of wave romantically.
A lot of times when you have a crush on someone it's easy to fall victim to mixed signals.
To assume that all the little things that they're doing are signs of interest towards you.
This tends to happen when you have a crush on someone, you start to read all of their behavior
as being directed at you as ways that you should continue pursuing them.
"Alright, class today I want to get you motivated to work on your group projects.
We're gonna sit today, use our time, and get things done."
"Get things done?
That's my instagram handle.
Why did she say that?
Is she trying to signal to me that she likes me back?"
"Oh and Johnny, I want you personally to stay a little bit longer after so we can
talk about your last test grade and where you may need some extra help."
"Me? Stay longer?"
Also, I feel like this just needs to be said.
If you like a teacher and you're starting to notice direct signs of interest from them
maybe they're paying a little bit more attention to you in a way that they're flirting
or asking for personal information or making plans to hang out with you outside of school.
Stop it. Call them out. Tell someone.
Don't engage in that because that is just pure creep behavior and
it's not something you want to get involved in.
And now that we talked about what you shouldn't do, let's really dive into what you should do.
This is where I think it's going to be tricky because when you like someone it's hard for
you to just kind of turn that switch off in your brain and tell yourself don't like them anymore.
Don't look at them, don't think about them, it's just not a realistic thing.
So here's what you need to do instead.
First off, if you're attracted to your teacher simply because of the way that they look
ask yourself that deeper question, what is it about their physical traits that I really like?
Maybe they have a beautiful face, maybe they have a nice body, maybe they dress well.
Think about the qualities there and kind of put a pin in it for later.
Second, if you also like their personality, what is it that you actually like about them?
Do you like the fact that they have a calm and caring presence in the classroom?
Do you like the fact that they're super smart and
they're educated and knowledgeable in the subject that they're teaching?
Think deeply about what it is about them that you feel really really drawn to put a pin in that too
And third, you might really like your teacher because they pay attention to you and acknowledge
you and that might not be something that you're getting from other adults around you.
Maybe they're the only one that hears you or gives you the space to share more about yourself.
That's something to really really take strong note of and put a pin in as well.
Okay, so now you got your three pins: your attraction, your personality, and your connection.
Those are the things that maybe are drawing you to
this teacher and you have this deep crush for them.
Well, here's what I would recommend doing.
Take the qualities that you like about your teacher and start looking for
those qualities in someone else your own age that you can actually date.
Now I'm not saying your classmates are going to have all the qualities that
your teacher possesses, but you could start to look for the seeds being planted there.
As you talk to people do you see that they have that same inspiration of life?
As you get to know someone better, do you feel like yeah this person's super attractive to me?
As you start to develop deeper connections,
do you feel like there are people that see you and hear you that are your own age?
The qualities you see in your teacher are also going to be found in other people so
you have to start branching out and getting to know people better if you want to start
to shift the crush you have towards this adult who teaches you things in school
towards someone else that you could potentially date, go out with and get to know better.
And this advice holds true for pretty much anyone that's in that unattainable category
maybe it's a teacher or a coach or a celebrity or an
Instagram influencer that you're never really gonna probably meet in real life.
We have these crushes on people which is totally normal but the way that we could start to manage
those feelings is to start to ask ourselves what's attainable? What's realistic? Who can I
actually interact with and what is it that I like about that person that I could find in others?
And that's not to say you're just going to snap your fingers and every time you
walk into the class your jaw is not going to drop because your teacher's super hot.
It just means that you're going to recognize that your time and your attention
is something that you can direct elsewhere.
That thinking about that teacher and wanting to be with them are feelings
you have and that's okay but if you start to feel it become all-consuming
if you start to read into it so much that all your devotion is going to this person.
That's when you need to start working on it.
So how do you handle situations where you have to interact with that teacher
and every time you do you just get all nervous and sweaty and all like bro?
Well, the way you'd interact with them would be the same
like you would with any other type of crush.
You want to bring yourself back to a calm state of being so that
you're not nervous and frantic around them.
One simple way to do that is to practice deep breathing.
Before you start talking to them, before you engage, take some time for yourself.
Take three deep breaths. Close your eyes.
Take those deep breaths and you'll start to feel yourself
calming down before you actually start talking.
"All right she wanted to meet alone after class to talk about my grades.
Oh my god, I don't know if I could do this.
All right let's do this, okay."
"So I just kind of wanted to go over your grade. I feel like on the last
test you didn't really perform that well. Are you kind of distracted in class maybe?"
"Oh, my grade? Yeah I mean I think I just probably need to work with a private tutor."
Look, at the end of the day, no matter who you like or feel drawn to
you're not bad or wrong for having those feelings.
Feelings happen inside of us and what matters most is how we choose to act on those feelings.
Finding moments where we should pursue them and finding moments where we shouldn't.
If you do feel like your attraction for your teacher is so strong that you can't
concentrate on anything else, it's okay to talk to someone about your feelings.
Maybe that's a school counselor, maybe that's a private therapist, maybe it's just your parents.
Letting someone know how you feel is going to be the first step in managing those feelings.
You don't have to keep them bottled up and feel ashamed for feeling the way that you do.
I want you to know that this is normal, it's common and it's definitely something you can
work on so if you have a crush on your teacher, leave your comment down below.
We can talk about it and I'll do my best to help you out.
On that note, I'll catch you next time.
As always, love and peace.