Arnold Schwarzenegger's is one of the most impressive success stories of our era.
He won Mr. Olympia 7 times and put body building on the map.
Then, he became the highest paid actor of his time; then, without any elected experience,
he became governor of California.
That kind of success tends to alienate people, yet Arnold has almost always inspired love
from the masses.
Today, we're going to talk about what Arnold did that made his success something people
aspired to and were inspired by, rather than something they resented, despite the fact
that he was never particularly modest.
Arnold has admitted that he was playing up the feeling in "Pumping Iron," but it is still
true that this is how many people came to know him.
He was the bragging, self-absorbed, foreign champ who psyched out Lou Ferrigno and laughed
about it the whole time.
For his entire career, Arnold was comfortable talking about his success.
Success, alone, may create admiration, but it doesn't create charisma.
If you're seen as the bragger, that's going to make you come across as very unlikable.
This is the story with villain; imagine Gaston from Beauty and the Beast, or the most arrogant
athlete or rockstar you can think of.
So how do you move from admiration to actually being charismatic?
The first thing that Arnold adds to the mix is a healthy dose of silliness.
Look at some of the roles that Arnold has taken and it becomes clear that he doesn't
always take himself so seriously.
Arnold is even willing to make fun of these memes he unwittingly created in parodies of himself.
So here's this mega successful guy who can talk about his achievements without blinking,
but who is also comfortable looking like a goof ball, who can laugh at himself and handle
being laughed at.
I've mentioned before, when you make someone laugh, they tacitly accept just about everything
that came before.
Take a look at how Arnold's jokes switches the situation, that could have been seen as
bragging, to one that makes you like him.
Adding the joke after makes the $700,000 that he
spent on golf clubs seem a little bit less offensive.
Here's another example.
You see, Arnold's actually talking himself up a bit here, but when he jokes that he paid
the guy to sell those nice things, he creates the laugh, and we don't hold it against him.
Without the joke, that could be very grading, with the joke, we like him even more.
It's a tactic that can work, but can easily go wrong if the joke doesn't land.
Another trait that, by itself, could go badly is Arnold's willingness to make jokes at the
expense of other people. Take a look.
Now, light-hearted teasing can upset people, even your best friends, and even when they pretend
that it's fine between you guys.
So if you're going to do it, you want to do it like Arnold.
Tease people with a smile on your face.
Deadpan humor can be great, but not when joking at someone else's expense.
Watch this next clip and see how the audience reacts when Arnold doesn't immediately smile,
but then, does come around and begin to laugh when he smiles and says he's proud of Jimmy.
Teasing is a dangerous path to walk.
It can break rapport, especially if you're crazy successful like Arnold.
When you're a millionaire governor and 7-time Mr. Olympia, you run the risk of making the
people around you feel inferior when you tease them.
The same is going to be true of you if you are "more successful" than the person you're
teasing, so use this sparingly.
But there is another reason that Arnold's teases are handled so well, and it's because
he always has such a positive attitude. Take a look.
That's just from the first few minutes of one speech and he's like this in most of his interviews.
Arnold is almost endlessly positive.
That can be a hard trait to cultivate, but Arnold gives us a glimpse of how he does it.
Check it out.
Arnold doesn't feel like he has to go to the gym and train 5 hours a day; he gets to.
That crucial distinction changes it from a chore to a treat.
Imagine if you were able to view the time that you spent practicing a musical instrument
or lifting weights, or building your business, as a treat that you were lucky to be able
to do it.
How much better would you be?
How much more enjoyable would that process become?
So, shift your thinking.
What do you think that you have to do?
Just for today, try thinking about it as something that you'd get to do, because it takes you
one step closer to your goals.
That's not only going to make the process of learning or working far more enjoyable,
but it's going to make your charisma and your positivity shine through and people like you more.
The last piece that I want to touch on is Arnold's most outstanding.
He's achieved major success, but he's insistent that you and I, and everyone else can, too.
Take a look.
Don't listen to the naysayers because there's always people out there that would tell you
that you will not be able to do that, forget it, it's a stupid dream that you have, or
a crazy vision.
Don't listen to the naysayers.
When Arnold tells his own incredible story, it inspires us because it shows us what we
can accomplish if we adopt his attitude and mindsets.
It's the way Arnold tells a story that makes it so inspiring though.
It's subtle, but listen how Arnold will switch between first and second person when he talks.
He changes from I to you, and then, back again.
This hits us especially hard because even as he's telling a story, he's highlighting
how it applies to you--the listener.
This technique of switching between I and you is especially powerful when Arnold speaks
in terms that we see as a metaphor for our own lives.
In this case, he's talking about lifting weights, saying "we," but then, he switches to "you."
This lets the metaphor of needing to fail sink into your own life.
Even though you weren't there, and you might never have lifted weights, the metaphor about
failing is shaped in a way that it can apply to almost anyone, including you.
Other mega achievers tell their story.
It's inspiring and it's great, but not many will pause every few sentences to talk about
what you can do.
This might seem insignificant, but it's not.
Arnold is constantly pulling out the lesson of what you are capable of from his own stories
of overcoming adversity.
This is what makes Arnold so charismatic.
He makes us feel inspired and hungry for success, which, quite frankly, feels amazing.
We naturally associate all of those positive emotions right back to the storyteller--in
this case, Arnold.
So, adopt the same mentality.
If you're going to share your successes, do it in a way that is, first off, unabashedly proud.
Second, make sure that your story doesn't just elevate you, but is phrased in a way
that gives the other person something to reflect on for their own life, and, third, make sure
to highlight the most important lessons by speaking them directly to the listener.
Hopefully, I've been able to do that for you here.
If you're interested in the other things that are going to help you radiate charisma and
make people feel great around you, there are four things in total--four emotions.
And, unfortunately, most people do this all wrong.
They make a mistake in the order and they wind up butchering their first impressions.
So, if you're curious what those things are, and how to avoid that mistake, we've set up
another video that you can get by clicking the box right now.
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