[chatter]
♪ ♪
- We can't pull out all of your trophies.
- Oh, whoa! I had that. - Is that you?
- Yes. That's me.
That's just--it was a very different time.
- Wow. That's the coolest picture
anybody in our family's ever taken.
- Yeah. Aunt Julia, you look so hot,
and I love that outfit. - Oh.
- She broke all my friends' hearts.
- Mine too.
- I used to steal all of her clothes.
I mean, how were you always so on-trend?
- She insisted.
[all laughing]
- You got your perfect skin from Grandma, too.
- Yes. - Yes. Well, good genes.
- So what the hell happened to me then, huh?
- We'd all like to know that one.
No, but it's like I always say, eat well, sleep well,
take care of your skin.
- [gasps] What?
Oh, sorry. I'm reading an article
about how to ask out your Subway sandwich artist.
- Oh, I like that for you.
- [clears throat] What's the story with this one?
- Yeah. Wait, where is that from?
- Oh, oh, oh. Okay.
I was in London.
I had just graduated college. - Yes.
- And I was just wandering around.
I found myself in the Chelsea flower market.
- Come on!
It says you're not supposed to order chips.
- Jesus.
- Esther, you always get chips.
- Yeah.
- That's my daughter, so back to the photo.
- Mm-hmm. - I was in the flower market.
- Uh-huh. - Minding my own business,
looking at these beautiful flowers,
and I get a tap on my shoulder.
Gentleman says, "May I take your picture?"
It turns out he is the famous photographer Richard Avedon.
- Ahh! - Richard Avedon!
- I told you, you should go to college. Yes!
[light music]
- ♪ My mom is so pretty ♪
♪ Elegant and fine ♪
♪ Her hair looks perfect ♪
♪ Like, 100% of the time ♪
♪ Her features are small and delicate ♪
♪ She's hotter than your mom, I bet ♪
♪ But it only makes me sad ♪
♪ 'Cause I look more like my dad ♪
[sighs] - ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
- ♪ I've got my dad's eyebrows ♪
♪ I've got my dad's nose ♪
♪ I've got my dad's shoulders ♪
♪ I've got hair on my toes ♪
- Gross. - Just the big ones.
♪ My mom's graceful as a swan ♪
♪ I look like a hobbit with overalls on ♪
♪ It's bad ♪
♪ I take after my dad ♪
- ♪ She's her father's daughter, daughter ♪
♪ She's her father's daughter, daughter ♪
♪ She's her father's girl ♪
- ♪ I chew with my mouth open ♪
♪ Whenever I'm eating ♪
♪ My sideburns are out of control ♪
- ♪ And your hairline's receding ♪
- Yeah, I know.
- ♪ Her mom's skin is smooth as glass ♪
- ♪ But I've got my dad's pores and his weird, flat ass ♪
♪ It's grim ♪
♪ I look more like him ♪
- ♪ She's her father's daughter, daughter ♪
♪ She's her father's daughter, daughter ♪
♪ She's her father's girl ♪
♪ ♪
- Big forehead.
♪ ♪
- Fat calves.
♪ ♪
- Bad posture.
- Athlete's foot.
- It's not as if you're unattractive to men.
You're just a little bit uglier than you should have been.
- ♪ Ooh ♪ - Thanks, Grandma.
That helps. It does.
- ♪ Should have been a ten ♪
♪ But she's a seven ♪
- ♪ I go out in pajamas ♪
♪ My mom irons her clothes ♪
- ♪ Your dad's got beautiful legs ♪
- ♪ But I didn't get those ♪
What the fuck?
♪ It's sad, but it's the truth ♪
♪ I look like the daughter with no lines ♪
♪ From "Fiddler on the Roof" ♪
♪ And my dad's to blame ♪
all: ♪ 'Cause we look the same ♪
- ♪ We're exactly like one another ♪
♪ I look like my dad's little brother ♪
♪ But I'm bad at math and have mood swings ♪
♪ Like my mom ♪
Did you like my song?
- God. You need a lot of attention, don't you?