Does it ever end?
I'm gonna tell you when it ends, it doesn't and
I'm going to tell you
how it finally comes to an end in this video,
so, stay tuned.
Hey, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I'm an attorney and a narcissist negotiation expert and
in these videos, I teach you how to negotiate with them
in a way that's powerful, so that you take back
your control and you actually end up getting rid of the fear,
it is possible and if that sounds good to you,
make sure you hit that subscribtion bell,
subscribe, and stick around because
I give you free tips and tricks.
What other lawyer does that? Nobody does that.
Stick around and you might actually learn something.
So anyway,
let's talk about when that game finally ends for that narcissist,
it does happen.
There are many of you, out there that
are thinking, it never ends.
It just never ends, and it does feel that way sometimes
because they're in this thing, and
I know what happens with you guys, right?
they traumatize you, they use you, they abused you and
they start off with this super charming personality,
by the way, and you wouldn't have gotten
sucked in, had they not been super charming.
I mean, come on, you're not stupid.
I can't tell you how many people have come
through the doors of my office and have said
“I'm really smart at all these other areas of my life”
People who have been super successful,
I got sucked in too,
I don't think of myself as being like,
a loser or anything like that. I mean, I hope not.
But yet, here I am.
I got sucked into the whole thing too, because,
they're really good at what they do
they’re master manipulators,
they know what to do to suck people in,
they prey on people, and by the way,
they didn't attach themselves to you
because you had so little value.
They attach themselves to you, because you have so much.
They're not trying to suck narcissistic supply
out of the people that have no value.
Where's the value in that?
They want the people that have the value,
they want the supply, they're going for the juicy thing.
Think about those lions or the tigers,
the vultures, vultures is probably a better thing.
I actually like lions and tigers.
Let's talk about vultures,
so the vultures, they were looking for the carcasses that
actually still have something left on the bones, right?
This is what narcissists want to,
they want something that has some meat on the bones,
something that's good.
Something that has like, something to go for, okay?
So think about that.
Even though they come along and
they start devaluing you,
that's like the smoke and mirrors thing that they do.
They come along you've got value,
then they start shifting it around and
make you think that you have none,
even though you have all the value,
it's like kind of crazy but it is a whole toxic thing
that they do and they really get off on,
making themselves feel more powerful over
somebody that has a lot of power.
I mean, just like the whole Britney Spears thing, right?
I mean, her dad is probably a narcissist and
he's like, loving the fact that he's got power
over somebody who has like this level of celebrity.
So, therefore, she's got some amount of power
because she's got the celebrity and
he's got power over with this conservatorship.
So, that's what they do.
This whole love bomb, devalue, discard,
the whole toxics do in between,
so when you're negotiating with them,
it feels like it's never going to end and
the more personal it is with the negotiations,
the worst that it is because they know how to trigger you and
they don't want it to end and here's the big mistake
that people make going into the negotiations,
is you think what is it that they want and
I'll just give it to them,
so I can be done with this thing, and
the problem with that whole flaw in the thinking,
the very big huge flaw in the thinking is
that what they want is not to be done,
what they want is to jerk you around,
what they want is to manipulate you,
what they want is to intimidate you.
I mean, you think, “Oh, maybe they just want me to die”,
but that's not what they want either because
then there would be no more supply left to be had,
what they want is, for it to keep going.
It's like the Barney song that never ends,
this is “The Song That Never Ends”.
They want you to constantly feel manipulated,
they literally get off on that and
that's why they continuously move goalposts,
they’ll give you an offer and
even if you take the offer, they'll say
“Oh no, the offer is changed, the deal is different now”
or "Oh I'll take the parts of the deal that I like,
but not the parts that I don't like”.
I have a whole video on that, by the way,
if you want to check it out,
“Why narcissists constantly move goal posts”,
which you can definitely watch if you'd like.
That's why the fees are like four times higher
for litigation when narcissists are involved,
average cases without narcissists or, you can actually settle
because there's something that somebody wants and
there's like the whole “Oh you can”
“I'll trade this for that” and “Oh, this sounds good” and
we can actually come to some kind of a conclusion.
I mean, you can have those kinds of
rational conversations when rational people are involved
but not when narcissists are involved.
I mean, I had a client one time, total narcissist, by the way,
who would actually say two things to me like
“Oh I'd rather pay you then her”, and
I used to say to him, before I actually knew that
he was a narcissist and understood what was going on
that I was actually a pown in his little scheme
to intimidate and annoy the wife,
I used to say, “Hey, I don't need you to help me put my daughter
through college, we can actually get this thing done” and
he would do things just to annoy her.
One time, he signed a support check
with his left hand, he was right-handed.
He signed it with his left hand in crayon with just
his first name, just because he thought it was funny, and
of course that became like the centerpiece
of the other side's trial exhibits, by the way,
remember that anything you put
your hand to is a potential trial exhibit.
So, that didn't look so great for my client, by the way,
but he didn't even care because he thought it was funny.
But that's the kind of thing we're talking about.
It goes on forever,
because now she has to file a motion to compel,
now, she didn’t get her support check
because of course, the bank didn't cash it.
That's the kind of thing that I'm talking about.
It goes on and on, the Barney song.
So, what worries them? When will it end?
When will it end?
It will end when they are going to be potentially exposed
because there’s the hierarchy of supply and
what drives a narcissist is supply.
That's it. There's only one thing.
However, there are different types of supply
for a narcissist, think about the vulture.
So, they might be like a better form of roadkill.
So, like it might be better roadkill up the road than down here,
so if there's better roadkill out there
then I might go over there but hey there might
be still some roadkill left over here,
so let me just make sure
I've gotten all the roadkiller that’s left over here.
So if there's a little roadkill left over here than I might,
make sure I've gotten it all over here.
So, exposing them or threatening to expose them
is the best way to potentially make them feel like
you know what,
it ain't worth it being over here anymore.
I'd rather move on to the next form of supply and
that's why it's really, really important to develop a strategy.
I talk about this in my S.L.A.Y program,
strategy, leverage, anticipate, focus on you.
That's the only way.
Supply is what drives them and
if you don't develop that strategy, you don't have that leverage,
you don't anticipate what they're going to do,
you don't focus on you, your case, your position,
you ain't gonna get there.
But, once you do, it will a 100% work.
It absolutely will.
When there's no more supply left to be had
on your side of the equation,
they will slither on down the road and
that game will finally come to an end.
But then, and only then, will it come to an end.
That's how it works.
That's how it will come to an end.
They have to worry that they're going to be exposed
or they have to think that
there's no more supply left to be had because
if there's any little like bones to pic and
that's why they come back, by the way, and
that’s when you get that little ping and your DM,
you get that little thing,
you get that that little email or
that little, “Oh, let's see if there's something to be had over there”
or that you get that little thing to try to trigger you.
Maybe they miss a payment or something like that
just to see is there some supply left to be had over there,
Is there something I can get?
A little rise I can have over there?
because they want to see,
they're testing to see if there's something
that they can get out of this.
If you know that I'm true,
if you know that these people are total vultures,
Because you know that they are vultures. All right?
If you're getting ready to negotiate with anyone,
grab my free “Crush my negotiation” prep worksheet
at winmynegotiation.com.
I am so ready to help you win and
join my free private Facebook group
at “Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung”.
Make sure you subscribe,
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give it a like, give it a share.
I am so glad that you are here and
I am so glad that you are part of this community
because we are taking those narcissists down together.
We shall rise and thanks so much for stopping by.
Remember, today is a great day to start negotiating your best life.
I will see you in the next video.