We all make mistakes and experience disappointment at every stage of our sewing journey no matter how
new or experienced you are in the hobby. I know we know this logically and at the same time it can
feel like we are the only ones out there making mistakes especially when you look at Instagram
it can feel like gosh everyone is just so good at sewing and well maybe I just suck.
Hi I'm jennifer Weiss founder of Workroom Social and Camp Workroom Social and at Workroom Social we
teach people how to sew their own clothes. Clothes that fit their unique styles and their individual
body shapes and sizes and even though sewing is my profession I have to admit I am not the world's
greatest sewist. I am also not the premier expert in sewing. In fact I am still learning a lot of the
same things you are. So in Seamwork's new series, Dear Jenny, I thought it would be fun to explore
some of your thoughts and questions relating to sewing. In each new episode I'm really excited to
hear from you so that together we can discuss ways of growing as both sewists and as people.
So now let's jump right in to today's letter. "Dear Jenny, I've been sewing for a few years but I keep
making mistakes. I just finished sewing a pair of leggings but my fabric only had two-way stretch
so they ripped when I tried them on. I feel completely devastated. I don't think I can ever
move on from this failure. How can I keep mistakes from totally derailing my sewing plans? Sincerely,
a seam ripper's best friend." Now I don't know about you but I can absolutely feel the frustration and
feeling of defeat in this letter from a seam ripper's best friend and I can feel their
disappointment because I too have felt the same way. Before we answer their question I do want to
acknowledge that it feels awful to make mistakes. We're conditioned from a very young age to feel
like we are the most valuable, the most meaningful when we do things "correctly," when we get it right,
and when we make mistakes we can be criticized, judged, and even punished for those mistakes
and well raise your hand if oftentimes you're the one judging and punishing yourself.
Me, that's me. I do that to myself. It's no good. With that in mind it is 100% understandable
that we would feel terrible when we make mistakes. When I feel like a total failure I find it helpful
to remind myself that my feelings will pass in time so I say to myself
"Self, yes you did make a mistake and perhaps your mistake equaled a big failure
that mistake, that failure does not mean that you categorically are a failure. Jennifer, you are many
things and a failure is not one of them." Reminding myself of this can help because logically I know
that and at the same time I might not be feeling that so having the logical reminder at least
triggers me to know that even though my head and my heart my thoughts and my feelings might not be
totally aligned I do know that in time my emotions will subside. Okay now that we've addressed our
feelings I'd like to talk about some practical ways that we can build our resiliency and regain
some of that lost self-confidence so that we can continue on our sewing journey. Practical strategy
number one. I know you've heard it before, I'm hoping this time it will really stick with you.
I'd like us to reframe the way we think about our failures. You know every mistake is an opportunity
for growth and I especially love the way sewist Jasika Nicole has rebranded her failures into
learning successes. Again I don't want to discount our feelings of disappointment. I also know that
we can hold multiple ideas in our head at the same time. So while a failure can be a failure,
we can also recognize that failure as a learning success. Holding on to these feelings of defeat
and disappointment in the long term it's not going to help us grow in our sewing abilities. So a great
thing to do is to reframe the way we think about these things and I love Jasika Nicole's rebrand.
Let's all join her in thinking about our failures as learning successes. Practical strategy
number two. The second thing we can do to bounce back from a sewing failure is to phone a friend.
Oftentimes it can be nice to connect with someone who might understand the way that you're feeling
whether you want to just vent, or maybe hear some of their stories of failure, or ask for a little
advice. Making that connection can help remind us that we're loved and supported, which should
reignite some of your confidence. If you don't have any in real life sewing friends something that I
like to do is to read about other sewists failures on Instagram using the #SewingFail or you
could consider joining an online community like Seamwork or like Workroom Social's online community
Social Sewists. In Social Sewists you can post about your sewing failures and know that you're sharing
with a community of supportive and kind people and if you're looking for a little help and advice
you can ask for others ideas as well. Practical strategy number three. Next I do my best to keep
records of all of my sewing projects no matter how big or small and regardless of whether they're
successes or failures. Keeping track of all the factual information about a project helps me from
getting too emotionally worked up about a project. There are lots of different ways to keep records
and I think the easiest that you could start right now is just to go grab a notebook and start
writing down notes. Now keeping records is one part of the process, I find that reviewing those notes
might even be a little bit more helpful because when I get really worked up about a mistake
or a project that just there's no turning back from I like to go back and review my notes and
take a look at how I got to where I am, not only in the current project that I'm working on but in my
sewing journey overall. I like to go back and see all of the things that I've worked on and a lot of
times I'm reminded of all of my accomplishments, whether it is past finished garments or maybe
a new skill that I've learned. There's so much to celebrate and when I'm feeling down about
a mistake or a failure I love to go back and re-celebrate some of those wins and that will
usually help remind me that the failure I'm facing right now actually isn't that big of a deal. Now
there's a second time that I like to go back and review my records or my notes and that's when I'm
starting any new project. Reviewing my notes from past projects is a great way to help me remember
not to repeat past mistakes and it guarantees that every past failure is now 100% a learning success.
And finally practical strategy number four. The last thing I like to do to make sure that
a failure doesn't derail my sewing journey is to work on a project. After the sewing failure
work on a project that I know I can accomplish and be happy with. I like to think of these kinds
of projects as palate cleansers and usually when I approach these projects they will be
for me personally quick, easy, and familiar. So oftentimes I'll choose patterns that I've made
in the past and have gone well for me. I will use materials that I feel super comfortable with and I
will work on something that I know I can complete in a relatively short amount of time. Getting some
of these sewing wins under my belt is a great way to refuel myself and boost my morale. It's a
way to help me feel prepared for tackling my next difficult or complex or new to me project. And now
I'd love to hear from you. What advice do you have for a seam ripper's best friend? I know you've got
some good ideas too and I'm going to be checking the comments because I'm super excited to see
what advice you have. If you're looking for more information on this topic be sure to check out
Seamwork Radio's episode 89 - Three Ways to Help You Get Past Mistakes and Failures, and if you have
a question for me that you'd like covered on a future episode of Dear Jenny, you can get in touch
by emailing me at hello @ workroomsocial.com. In the previous episode of Dear Jenny we talked about
how your value is not tied to your output and likewise your mistakes don't define you. So when
you make a mistake I want you to pick yourself back up, dust yourself off, and continue making
progress on your sewing journey. I'm excited to see you in the next episode of Dear Jenny. Bye now!
Okay it has gotten really dark, I hope it doesn't look like that in the footage and
I hope they're sound this time. Take 172. Okay so really I'm making this video right now for myself
because this is like the tenth time that I'm trying to film this, I keep making mistakes
and it's just not coming together. So in this moment I am with
a seam ripper's best friend. I am feeling this down to my core. Boop boop, we need the letter.