Control, is about my relenting child epilepsy.
And with this song,
I wanted to say thanks to my primary school teacher,
'cause she helped me a lot dealing
with my anxieties and with the epilepsy.
If she weren't there I think I wouldn't have make it.
So I am really, really thankful.
And it was the best way to me to say, thank you.
Saying thanks through a song it's magical
and then Control, every time when I listened to Control,
I like I help myself every day a little more.
Control was the first song writing session
I've ever had in my life with professional songwriters.
Jessie J is a huge inspiration to me because her songs,
especially, who you are, help me finding myself
and help me to be me and to it's okay not to be okay,
but just be true to who you are
'cause you have to be in yourself, your whole life.
So, accept it and be happy with yourself
and just love yourself.
Every time when I went to school in the morning,
when I woke up,
I knew there was going to be another seizure today
and I was just in my bed,
had the anxiety that feeling coming up.
When I write songs, it's like my therapy
and my way to accept things and to move on
and to not look back to the past.
Before I wrote control, I was always like,
I looked back to the past every evening.
I was just sitting in my room and was just there and just
was sad and looked at the wall and just listen to music
and after I wrote control, it was another feeling.
The situation wasn't even that bad no more.
Just move on 'cause you don't wanna feel it again,
why you look back to your past?
My DMs are full with messages from people
who were going through the same or other problems.
They write me, your song helped me through,
the worst time of my life.
And it's really emotional and painful
to read everything, it's maybe for good
'cause I helped them with my song and that's all I wanted.
When I had the seizure, I don't wanna lose control,
but there's nothing I can do anymore.
So, I have to live with it,
everything started to get numb and everything,
but you can't do anything.
You can't even move or you can't do anything.
So you have to be, you have to wait till it's over.
This is about how I felt during the seizure
when I was just sitting there and
I wanna I woke up after the seizure,
I just saw my teacher and I felt like home
and it's yeah, it's crazy.
That's how I felt during the seizure.
I can guarantee you that you are going to be better
and you're gonna find yourself
and you're gonna find a way,
like my way is music and you gonna find a way
to get over it and to accept it and to move on
and to not look back to your past.
Keep looking forward and just be happy
'cause time is so not obvious.
And you should spend it in a good way
and just laugh, smile, look in the mirror and smile and say,
"you're gonna make it."
My teacher, she helped me a lot.
I think I wouldn't sit here, I wouldn't be here
if she wouldn't have hold my hand.
When I had the seizure at the start of the seizure,
she was always she always said,
"Zoewees give me your hand we're gonna make it,"
and that's why I think that phrase is really important to me
and explain the whole song.
When I was in school was like,
I was in school eight hours a day,
so she was always there for me
and she was my home in school.
She always believed in me and that's why I think
she's one of the most important persons in my life
'cause I wouldn't have made it without her.
That was the most important part to me
saying thank you, she helped me and she healed me.
It was always my dream to sit in front of that yellow wall
'cause I always watched Genius and the artist
are really like insane.
They're so unique everyone is unique
and we have to make the best out of it
with Zoom but I'm gonna a genius like gonna be there soon
and sit in front of that yellow wall.