Howdy! Let's go!
It's time to check out the ultimate cinematic flops from
that shambling juggernaut of children's television: Nickelodeon.
Nickelodeon movies tend to range from possible distractions to outright dreadful devastations.
In fact, Nick has been making a continual line of
notoriously stupid mistakes in filming for 20 years now.
So, to celebrate this momentous occasion
let's check out the Top Six Worst Nickelodeon Movies.
And just as always, if you do like these films, that's great.
For most of these I'm the completely wrong demographic
So take this list with a pinch of salt. Anyway, let's do this countdown!
Number six:
Fairly Odd Movie. Which is quite an understatement because this movie is more than failure its
outright bizarre.
Oh boy...
The cheese levels are off the charts. This has so much cheesy, sugary
saccharine tween that is likely to cause liver failure before the 20-minute mark
but I actually kind of mixed on this one because it's one of those situations where I really like the main actor and actress.
I mean, it's Drake from Drake and Josh and Daniela plays the role of ex-stalker/environmentalist Tootie surprisingly sweetly.
Tootie: Maybe you wanted to go down to the waterfront? Watch the sailboats? Grab a smoothie? *laughs*
Timmy: Uhh... yeah! Yeah, that sounds really neat.
Strider: but the role and story itself feels so humiliating for him.
Basically it's Timmy Turner's 23rd birthday
Cosmo and Wanda: Happy 23rd Birthday Timmy Turner!
Timmy: Woah! Thanks Guys!
Strider: and for years he has continually refused to even try to get a job or move out of home.
In fact, he's been the fifth grade for thirteen years.
Timmy: Iv'e been in this class for thirteen years.
Strider: To top it all, Wanda and Cosmo look like Hideous CG
flash monstrosities that will offend your eyes in here the second day lumber on the screen
I'd enjoy my boys excited irritating of course that easily that this one is on the stove whisper because
well as simple as it is I really like the romance between Timmy into
And I actually just like watching them go on dates together
This is just my kind of Schmaltz
I'd much prefer to just be watching these to hang out and get to know each other for the whole movie
but no
Wanda and Cosmo have to continually interrupt the pleasant atmosphere were their most
obnoxious jokes ever I hate games that's why I only changed my underwear every p thousand years, but
again, I actually ended up watching the two sequels because of drake and Daniela and as the sequels continued I liked how the movies just
Embrace Their own low budget Cam penis, but overall fairly odd movie is completely alien to its original source material
the Number-5
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
2014 what could be worse than a Michael Bay movie some would say nothing
But it turns out when we combine Michael Bay's
Airheaded vapid explosion white noise garbage with the incompetence of Nickelodeon movies we get well this
I gotta say since you heist and a kid thirsty I got a secret stash of orange Krush behind a fridge the puzzles themselves
but more like
Grotesque Green CGI pegs world's shredder has been turned into a discount
Transformer and every piece of dialogue is more cliche than the last
Time I can do my champagne and even if you can somehow tolerate these based turtle imposters you might as well call it
April the movie because the movie is all about april though, then again
Megan Fox was chosen purely as AI candy and looks and acts absolutely nothing like April
so I guess it's more lady in yellow jacket the movie and the
Turtles will continually shove their face into the camera continually as though the computer team was actually proud of what they've done with their
125 million Dollar budget the story is basically a villains release a toxin so they can get rich selling the cure
April meets the Turtles and they have to stop the bad guys
On the plus side the turtles have the occasional line you might chuckle at but then the Bay
Flashing of doom starts this means that all attempts to build story or character are destroyed in the name of Bay
Desperately attempting to give the audience a seizure so they might forget how abysmal he wasted 125 million us dollars
What more can really be said other than it's a Michael Bay film?
The villains are boring the dialogue is forced the action scenes the extended they
explosion a white noise
Snore the whole thing reminds me of the smurfs movie shot in the dark under an ugly green light filter
It's not bad enough to be interesting and not good enough to be recommendable
it's just another depressingly successful example of bay taking another dump on countless people's child memories and
the Form was Nickelodeon Livi is
Barnyard well, why don't we start with the obvious?
It's ugly on the eyes. It's characters are juvenile
It's basically cheap vapid bluff pieced together with no substance
The story is that cows on this farm have learned to walk and talk the main character
Ben is trying to teach his son otis to lead the farm but Otis doesn't want to it I
Could go on but I've already phased out just reading that plot synopsis
And I suspect you probably had too well we could question how an entire Vanya
Magically developed frontal lobes in their cranium capable of speech planning and high order thinking
I think the more pressing question is how many designers gazing upon this smeary beautiful ange of a film couldn't be?
Revolted by the abominable visuals they had created
Chicken little looks far superior to this film and I consider it among Disney's ugliest CG
even if your studio
Isn't Pixar or dreamworks?
Surely the art of computer graphic animation does not have to look at idiots check on the list up on
Any point of from the jokes to the action scenes everything leaves such an infinitesimally tiny?
Impact that you'd swear you just blacked out for 90 minutes
Did I mention the CG looks like the open remains of an orgy trash bag because this thing really does look bad?
The plus of the film is the voice talents dole out the script pretty well
But it's another case where I just feel bad for the actors wasting their talents on it barnyard is basically a pixar
Parasite designed by nick to Siphon some of the excess cash or the unknowing innocent family looking for a decent
pixar movie and the Third Worst Nickelodeon movie is
Genie in a bikini by
Awesomeness TV. Oh no
oh no, no no how is telling the viewer that awesomenessTv made this a
Promotion it's more like a public service announcement
be advised awesomenesstv, maybe
We apologize for the 45 minutes you are about to lose in advance
Then anyway the Lunkheads who brought us awesomeness TV now bring us
I can't believe it's not Disney channel while both Nickelodeon and Disney Channel have their own unique tween sitcom styles
Occasionally Nick will try to copy the Disney channel tween style in this case though, we get the worst of both worlds on
Exactly the 5 minute mark a genie does in fact appear in a bikini
subdued Master
Unfortunately this is a man in a bikini name's matt and I am a genie that does the standard hammy tween
Sitcom actor performance
But it's not helped by the fact that we first meet him in a bikini
Unlike Fairly Odd movie these child actors are not giving it their all hold on genie not real
They're just a mix it's happening right now
It's what's happening seriously happening right now the standard bland story
Plays out the kids have fun as the genie grants wishes with slight twist. They learn more about the Chinese trouble part
There's no overall message or overall structure to the story kids run around adults act over-the-top and stupid
It's one of the most uninspired teen sitcom movies. I've ever seen despite being called Genie in a bikini
I mean with that title you could have just given me this picture for 90 minutes
And it still would have been better at least these ladies are trying to act
Instead they gave us this talking banana
For your sherlock to come to your party genie in the bikini is just one big
underwhelming lousy Gimmick movie, but disappointed on every front and
The second worst Nickelodeon movie is the last airbender
No worse Nickelodeon movie list is complete without the last airbender. I talked about this one before those so I'll keep it for it
It's hard to put a finger specifically on what's doesn't work about the last airbender. The most is it the lackluster
performances Shamans complete lack of understanding of the original material the confusing and tedious narrative most likely
It's a combination of all of them basically after getting the green light from Nickelodeon
Our bodies Shyamalan decided to remake avatar giving us some
Agonizingly poor acting performances and a bunch of flashy effects with a dull laborious story and zero investment one of the most
Fascinating things are find about this shyamalan flop is the completely
Deadpan delivery of almost every actor it's when I accept my role as the other somehow
Shabalin has this talent where he can actually coach decent actors to give less authentic deliveries for his films
It's like all the actors are just as welded about the completely incoherent narrative as the audience's
to get here Brendon tattoos
You have to meditate for long periods of time the actors tend to just walk around
repeating lines and looking puzzled
The best part I found about this movie was it looked kind of pretty at times and honestly we normally really liked
How earnest Shemin's films are unlike bae's films, which is so soulless, ly bad that they're bad
Chevron films are generally so bad that they're good because they're an honest
expression of himself and not just cheap proper driven Mindless Hollywood fluff
But this is the exception nothing feels original or earnest here. It feels like someone's turned a beautiful original
Compelling cartoon into a hackneyed fantasy ask nothing movie with no emotional energy whatsoever
And before number one I like to give the usual quick
dishonorable mentions
Rugrats go Wild I
Really load this sequel and while this sugary gross unpalatable
Pile more than deserves to be on the list I've already talked about a once and worse
Sequels and once is more than enough for this film good burger actually I thought good burger was okay
Growing up even if the jokes stone the acting was honestly ok and I thought the two main characters were
Charming and Likable back in the day
I actually found this a pretty good 90s neck move snow day sometimes a
disappointing childhood experience of cinema will haunt you for many years mine is a
Snow day even at seven before my teen years
This still felt like predictable teen junk to me and what those said here
We go and without a doubt the number one worst Nickelodeon movie is today
Fred the movie 3: Camp fred oh no
No, no, it just never stops. I know I give look as a hard drive a lot
But why would you give fred
3 freakin movies each one receiving more negative feedback than the last?
Now you may be wondering
How do you make the original fred even worse well quite simply you get?
Fred to do what I can only describe is squinching
Squealed singing because nothing sounds more pleasant on the ears than an overhyped
Wildly jump cutting squealing fancy maniac there was a time long ago when I associated the name
Frnd with Flintstones wow those were good
now unfortunately
Fred is something. I associate with the worst of hi kids internet badness I
Thought there was annoying orange
Interestingly all reviewers seem to end up saying the same thing when we describe listening to fred in his movie
Okay, so fred is signed up for Camp iwannapeepee
And I feel does he just saying that title so it can't I?
Wanna Pee pee the Camp director is secretly a giant rat monster who feasts upon the campus, okay?
Where do we start first off? What kind of business is able to continue with the name like Camp iwannapeepee?
What parent would send their child to a place called that?
Secondly how does your camp continue to operate when your business owner is facing the customers?
This does not seem like a viewable lucrative long-term business model thirdly just why does this movie exist at all?
Well believe it on us the fred movie sequel night of the living fred threw
5.7 million
Unsuspecting viewers who watched on in horror and Dismay at the nightmare unfurling upon their screen?
I would say I'm too hard on Lucas, but well.. I'm not. even today he represents the side of YouTube
I personally despise and I know
Some people are in this smut like this on YouTube, but I really do think kids deserve so much better than this
even more than the original
Fred 3 is
torture
what else can be said after two movies just like it it's
Concentrated Vapid Obnoxious nothing incarnate in movie form. I consider fred three camp
Fred the Absolute worst
Nickelodeon movie of all time
Some people would probably agree that Nickelodeon isn't the best at making movies
But honestly at least they've always given it a shot after 20 years
They are still trying to make decent movies
Most of these movies are attempting to be creative and often just show directors and actors with inexperience in the film industry
But you have to fail in order to learn and mistakes are the first step towards mastering your arts
I think movies like Spongebob sponge a dewater of okay
They don't come around often
But they show that nickelodeon can make okay movies when they try movies that better represent some of their amazing cartoons
And with the new hey Arnold Rocko's Modern life and invader zim movie coming out
I honestly think nickelodeon is going to start giving us some better quality movies in the upcoming years
Do you think I missed a particularly bad?
Nickelodeon movie if you think so feel free to mention it in the comments and a very big thanks to my awesome
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