(violin music)
- Where we going?
- A wedding.
- Yours?
- Yes, sir.
(Lloyd laughing)
- We ain't had the bachelor party yet.
- Lloyd, we're doing everything ass backwards, buddy.
- You'll be married
and we won't be able to do any of the shit I'm planning.
- The groom is--
- Big guy, black hat.
- So, you, you stand here.
And you take her hand,
and you walk her to what would be an altar.
And you are?
- I'm the best man.
- You stand beside him.
- I'm just a stall cleaner.
- Stall cleaner can stay where he is.
And okay, here we go.
- (clears throat) Beth.
- Mm-hmm?
- Beth, you can't wear that dress at your wedding.
- Don't worry, Dad.
I won't be wearing it long.
- Beth, I'm not your buddy, okay?
I'm your, your father.
So, can you factor that
into our conversations going forward?
- Okay.
Ready?
I love you.
(violin music)
- I hope you let me do this again for you,
and do it right.
- You can do it any way you want.
- All right.
- Okay. - Okay.
(violin music)
- Who presents the bride?
- Me.
I'm, I'm her father.
(violin music)
- So, normally I would say a few things about the couple,
but I don't have any idea who you people are.
So, I'll just move onward to the vows.
I, state your name.
- I, Rip Wheeler.
- Do take, state her name,
to be my lawful wedded bride.
- Take Beth Dutton to be my lawful wedded bride.
- To have and to hold,
to honor and cherish, from this day forward,
for better or worse,
for richer or poorer,
in sickness and in health,
until death do us part.
- To honor and to love,
to cherish through everything,
until I die.
and then somehow longer, baby.
- And now, Ms. Dutton, repeat after me.
I, Beth Dutton.
- Fuck, yes, I do.
- Um, not yet.
You do, I suppose.
Are there rings?
- No rings.
- Wait, hold on, I have one.
Here it is.
- What?
- It was my mother's ring.
We didn't have much, Beth.
We were poor, but it's yours,
and so am I.
(upbeat guitar music)
- I now pronounce you husband and wife.
(Rip laughing)
(whimsical music)
- Thank you.
Thank you for doing this, Father.
- Oh, you're welcome.
And don't worry, I won't press charges.
- Charges?
- Sorry, Daddy.
I had to kidnap him.
- If I could get a ride back to my church,
I'd appreciate it.
- Hold on, hold on, hold on.
How exactly did she kidnap you?
- Pistol.
- It was just a little one.
- Okay.
- Tiny.
- Come on, let's go.
(Beth laughing)
- Jesus Christ.
Excuse me, Father.
Why don't I take you home myself?
- (laughs) Damn, that was beautiful.
- Are they all like that?
- Hell, kid, ain't none of them like that.
(dramatic music)