What do I do if my husband is not
romantic?
My name is Paul Friedman, I founded The
Marriage Foundation
and I would like to respond to this
question
but I would like to open things up for
you
a little bit more. Because when I hear
this question
and I've heard it many times before,
what I hear is someone isolating
a small, very small
component in their marriage
that isn't working.
Now oftentimes,
it's not just that that isn't working
but sometimes it is so there's two
answers.
If that's the only thing, I'm not going
to scold you harshly
but if that's the only problem you have
you can help your husband along in that
area.
You can become more romantic and
stimulate the romance
in him. It's not that difficult.
Now don't become sludgy that's not
romance.
Don't do things that will appeal to a
woman.
You didn't marry a woman. You married a
man
and give him gentle reminders in a
loving way.
Men hate being told what to do you
already know that.
So instead of saying, "Honey, why don't you
buy me flowers?"
Say something like, "Oh my goodness, you
should have seen the flowers that so and
so got from her husband,"
and then change the subject. drop the
hint.
My experience with women
is they're very clever
very creative but when they become
demanding it becomes
very burdensome for a man so you need to
know your man. You need to appeal to your
man
in his language
being aware of where he puts up the
walls
where he runs and hides
so that you could reach him. Okay
so that is the answer
for those of you who are just missing a
little romance from your husband
but everything else is fine. He's a great
provider.
He's loving. He's considerate.
He smiles at you. He speaks to you as
a equal and he's fair-minded and
everything you could ever hope for but
you just wish he was a little more
romantic.
Now there's the other
group where not only is your husband not
romantic
but he's harsh with you.
He's not intimate with you.
You argue with each other all the time.
Maybe you even fight in front of the
kids which you should never do
and you know that.
He avoids you. He's all the time in front
of the boob tube
or on the internet just so he doesn't
have to talk to you.
Tthat's different and it should have been
a different question.
But in those cases, what it means is your
marriage is slipping
towards divorce, and please don't tell me,
"Oh no,
it's not that bad." No.
I remember watching a movie where a guy
slipped and started sliding down the
mountain and it looked like
fun then the camera panned over
to the cliff. That cliff is a divorce.
And what happens generally speaking, when
the marriage is not
functioning well you start slipping
and it builds momentum go faster and
faster
until you hit that cliff
and it becomes a divorce. Now
for those of you in that situation where
everything
is not good, I'm going to break that
group into two groups too.
There's the group where let's just call
it
things could be a lot better.
For those of you who are in that realm
subscribe to the channel. Learn more
about marriage.
If you don't mind spending a few dollars
get one of my books which lays out
marriage
and will really help you. I mean you look
at the reviews on Amazon
and it's just turned people's lives
around not just their marriage
either Breaking the Cycle or Lessons for
Happy Marriage.
It's not that much money. So
if your marriage is not racing towards
the cliff
just get one of the books, just subscribe
to the channel
you'll be fine. You'll learn so much.
You'll be so happy.
However, if you're in the other group
where you're slipping really fast
The Marriage Foundation and I created
courses
one for women one for men. Obviously, you
want the one for women
and in that one, you
will learn not just how to be married
which you can get from the book but you
will be brought
back to the right path of marriage
quickly
and it'll blow your mind.
It'll be like now
you're wondering when you're going to
get a divorce and within a couple three
months and we get
testimonials all the time where people
say, "Wow, you've changed my life. Thank you
so much!"
Because marriage is supposed to be
amazing.
You got married to be happy, right? You
got married
so that you would be happier every
single day of your life,
every day. Happier than the day before
I'm not exaggerating
that's why you people get married. Who
wants a life that's boring and mundane?
Who wants a marriage that is stagnant?
The other reason you get married is to
experience unconditional love,
marital love.
It's a beautiful experience and that too
should be ever expanding -- it's
infinite. Love has no boundaries
and we can take you from slipping
rapidly to the
edge and get you back
on the path, safe and secure but much
more to where you can have the promises
of marriage.
Love, happiness, why shouldn't you?
You deserve it. It's an innate gift
but we don't learn how in society
so now you get to learn how.
I hope this was helpful for you
and I appreciate your spending time with
me
and you're liking this
video of course helps more people
because then
I don't know the algorithms. Take over
and more people
see the video. So blessings to you,
to your husband, to your family. Don't be
afraid to leave a comment. I'm
happy to respond to you. God bless!