I’m going to be talking about him and
what you can learn from that situation to prevent it and
shut it down before it happens and
see those red flags in this video.
So, stay tuned.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I am an attorney, a narcissist negotiation expert, and
on this channel, and in these videos,
I teach you how to shift the dynamic,
how to spot narcissists, how to negotiate with them powerfully,
so you can turn the tides and become the most powerful, and
the most persuasive person in any room into which you walk and
if that sounds amazing,
then I invite you to subscribe to this channel and
hit that notification bell.
All right, so I watched this miniseries,
I actually listened to the podcast first and
I definitely highly recommend that you listen to the podcast,
you will be riveted, you will be on the edge of your seat,
apparently, it was like the most listened to podcast
at one point and then it became a miniseries,
it ran on some channel, I don't remember what it was,
I think it ended up on Netflix at some point and
it was absolutely riveting.
So, here's what happened.
There was this woman who was in her 50’s,
very successful, attractive woman, had absolutely everything,
children, very lucrative practice, she was interior designer
really had everything that she wanted except
that she really wanted love in her life,
she wanted a man in her life,
she wanted to have that piece of life and
so she met this guy, she met him online and
he seemed to be absolutely perfect, really great-looking guy,
seemed amazing, seemed wonderful,
doctor, presented himself as a doctor,
presented himself as an anesthesiologist,
right away from the beginning though,
there was like, there were some red flags,
but she didn't want to see them.
So, comes back to her apartment or house
after the first date, and on the first day,
she did notice that he wanted to lay on the bed right away,
wanted to stay right away, and she was like,
no, no, no, you're not going to do that,
he leaves that first night, but he did want
to move things along very, very quickly.
There's your first red flag.
Wants to speed the relationship along very quickly,
but seemed perfect, seemed amazing.
There were some other red flags,
didn't seem to quite have an explanation for certain things,
things weren't adding up, didn't really have a family,
didn't really have any, much of a past,
but things were just absolutely…
so charming, so charismatic, so good-looking
here he is a doctor, and absolutely came on super strong,
which is what they do, that's how they are and
really noticed all the wonderful things that she wanted,
so, here's this busy professional woman,
didn't have time to take care of herself,
so, what's he doing?
He's making smoothies for her every morning,
he's taking care of her dry cleaning,
He's running around doing errands for her,
I mean, how wonderful is that?
But of course, he gets up in the morning,
he's putting on his scrubs,
he makes it look like he’s going out,
but he wants to move in right away,
immediately wants to move into her place,
but she never had seen his place,
Isn't that a red flag? But she doesn't look at it.
She doesn't listen to it. She doesn't see it.
Her children are saying things to her like,
“Hey, mom, this isn't adding up,
he doesn't seem to be a good guy,
Why doesn't he have a house?
Why doesn't he have a family? Why aren't we seeing things?
She's like, not listening to them, because
all she sees is this great-looking guy,
who's paying attention to her, lavishing things on her,
taking care of her, doing all the things that she wanted,
but she's not wanting it to be all of that,
because she just wanted the attention,
he's loving her, he's giving her that and
immediately wants to take over her finances and
again, a red flag.
Where's his money? Not looking at that.
Here's these things, she's catching him in lies,
she's not paying attention to it, and by the way,
if you want to know more about,
what happens when you catch a narcissist in lies,
you can definitely check out my video on that topic and
here's what's also happening,
when she does start to try to question him,
when she does start to try to say,
“Hey, these things aren't adding up”,
he gets more and more moody,
he lashes out at her and
there's an overlay of other things that
start to happen and she actually starts to get afraid,
she starts to worry about what's going to happen,
she starts to actually question,
but she doesn't want him to know that she's questioning and
I don't want to give away the ending.
It's an absolutely crazy story and it becomes very, very heroine,
you should definitely check it out,
because it's an insane story.
For sure, there were red flags that
she just didn't want to see because
he did make her feel good and
she just wanted to see what she wanted to see and
he was absolutely the quintessential narcissist and
probably a malignant narcissist and
there may have been an overlay of other things too, sociopath,
and there may have been some other things too,
but, for sure, there was that love-bombing,
that moving in right away,
there were the red flags,
so, one of the things I can tell you is,
for example, one of the lies that he got caught in is
that he wasn't a doctor,
he turned out to be a nurse anesthetist and
the daughter found his diploma and it said nurse anesthetist and
when the woman questioned him on it,
he said, “Oh, I am a doctor because
the degree is the same amount
of schooling as a doctorate,
so it is like a doctorate and so I wasn't lying,
they kind of like take things and
they spin them and they make it seem
almost like you're crazy for questioning me on this.
So, you just have to have your eyes wide open and
not ignore those red flags when
you're going into these relationships and
when I was dealing with a narcissist in a business situation,
I saw the red flags, I saw them right from the beginning and
I chose not to see them, I chose to continue on,
even though I saw them and that was my mistake.
So you have to have your eyes wide open and
For me, too, I'm going to say that,
especially when you're dealing with narcissists,
because I'm telling you what,
when that mask comes off and
they show their true colors,
it is harrowing even for coverts,
I mean, I've seen it. I mean, it's horrible.
I actually did a video on that as well.
I mean, when that mask comes off,
they are horrible, absolutely horrible and
the mistake is, for a lot of people is
they think they can apply
the regular rules of negotiating with regular people to
what it's like to negotiate with narcissists. You can't.
In some ways you can, but in a lot of ways you can't,
like a lot of people,
they teach about how to have a certain amount of empathy and
all of that and how to have a two-sided conversation and yes,
both sides want to be heard, and yeah,
you need to do all of that,
but when you're dealing with a narcissist,
it's a different kind of a situation.
I'm just telling you that right now.
You need to employ my S.LA.Y methodology,
you need to have strategy, you need to have leverage,
you need to learn how to ethically manipulate the manipulator,
you need to understand that
narcissistic supply is what's driving them and
you need to understand that the other side
is seriously trying to take you down and
sometimes, it's at any cost,
even at their own cost, even at their own expense sometimes,
because they're willing to do that and
you need to understand concepts like
narcissistic supply, and leverage, and
that's what I teach.
So, eyes wide open from now on, right?
Don't ignore those red flags,
see them, know them, spot them,
shut them down ahead of time,
when you see them, run away.
If you're having to negotiate with one right now,
make sure that you grab
my free “Crush my negotiation” prep worksheet.
Do not walk into that negotiation without it.
It's totally free, it's an e-book, it's yours
at winmynegotiation.com.
Why would you negotiate without it?
I've had people tell me
they've won their entire negotiations with it and
it's totally free at winmynegotiation.com.
If you like this video, give it a like, give it a share,
if you haven't subscribed to my channel,
do that now, subscribe and hit that notification bell.
Join my free private Facebook group
“Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung”.
I am so glad that you stopped by.
Remember today is always a great day to start negotiating your best life.
I will definitely see you in the next video.