[moans]
Why do we always stay all night when we go to Messy’s All Night Barbecue?
Why do you guys always buy the t-shirts?
And why do you always buy them before we eat?
Better question. Why does Ray always get meat crazy and then
threaten to fire anybody who leaves early?
Or anyone tries to order a salad, Piper.
It was a pulled-pork sandwich with coleslaw.
If it has lettuce it’s a salad.
Yeah dog, salad shamer.
Wait. Did anyone else step over a girl just now?
When?
I got the meat sweats so I can barely see anything.
Oh yeah. Oh.
- Girl. -See I told you.
Seriously, anybody have a towel?
- Why are you here? - I’m looking for Captain Man.
Captain Man? What in a junk store?
That’s crazy!
Right guys?
Yeah!
Get the memory wiper.
You think that’s funny?
Hey, hey, hey!
Well, do you?
Keep laughing and see what happens!
- Whoa, whoa, don't hurt me. - Don't hurt me.
I need to find Captain Man!
And I’m not unchaining myself until I do!
Ah look. I’m sorry little girl but obviously none of us are Captain Man.
I mean, look at us.
Well, I mean...
I could be Captain Man.
Yes, but you’re not.
No, I’m not. I’m just saying if any of us could be Captain Man,
- obviously it would be… - Me.
No.
I’m okay.
Shut your filthy mouth, Schwoz.
Whoa! Hey, hey.
Not worth it.
What makes you think that Captain Man would be in front of this random store?
Someone on the internet plotted the locations of all of Captain Man’s
missions, divided them by the response time,
and used Doodle Maps to determine that
he must live somewhere near this store!
What are you talking about?
This is the craziest thing that I have ever heard.
Where’s that memory wiper?
Whoa wa-wait! If you need to talk to Captain Man,
why don’t you just call his hotline?
- I can’t! - Sure, you can.
Twenty four hours.
What’s your number? I’ll set it up for you.
I don’t have a phone, okay!
I’m phoneless.
[gasping]
Dad! I’m taking cash from your wallet
and going to the grand opening of an escape room!
If it’s okay for me to stay out until midnight, say nothing!
Okay, thanks, love you, bye!
[squealing]
We meet again, baby girl.
Uh, okay... If this is about anything other
than the money I literally just stole from my dad,
I am innocent.
It’s not about the money.
Are you sure?
Cause you could take this money and maybe forget about whatever I did wrong.
I don’t take bribe money.
Maybe your kids do.
Money is a trap the weak use to control the strong.
Also, bribery’s illegal.
And they're not my kids.
I don’t like children.
Well, you three seem really fun!
But, I gotta go to the grand opening of the new escape room downtown so--
Not so fast blondie! We have to talk about my niece Mika.
- She’s the smart one. - Hey!
And my nephew Miles.
He’s the funny one.
Hey!
Where are you going?
Wherever my path takes me.
Oh! I think I see your path
and goes right outta my house.
Not today it doesn’t.
You’re babysitting, baby girl.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
But my grand opening! There’s gonna be pictures! I got a new haircut!
And I love it! It makes your eyes pop!
But you still haven’t completed your community service.
What?
I left you to pick up trash on Stank Street but when I came back
you were gone.
I left a bag full of trash like you said.
Tippy top and everything.
Anybody or anything could have filled that bag.
Now, my sister and I are having a staycation.
We’re gonna eat our weight in ice cream and binge watch
season two of Will and Grace.
That’s good season.
That’s a great season!
I’ll see you tomorrow.
Wha…
You guys like escape rooms?
I refuse to be trapped by anyone or anything.
Can’t! Gotta study.
There’s this girl in my class, Becky, who thinks she’s smarter than me
but she’s not and I can’t stand…
Captain Man and Kid Danger will be there.
Trap me baby!
Who cares about Becky?
Maybe I can talk to the Vice Mayor and he can pull some strings and
let me graduate or something.
What? No, no, no, Henry, no, no, no!
Why?
The Vice Mayor only grants one wish per meeting, okay?
So if anyone’s gonna be rubbing his little belly and getting a wish granted,
- gonna be this guy alright. - Who's Henry?
Uh...
Not...
- Me. - Not him.
OK.
Wa-wait, come back.
Coming back.
Eh, where’s the Vice Mayor?
On vacation with my Mom.
- What? - Wow.
Nice!
What?
He told me to play this for you when you get here.
Kid Danger, Captain Ma… Captain Man.
Whatever.
I’m the Vice Mayor not the recorded twice Mayor so I’m just gonna keep goin’.
Fellas, this here is Bose.
Hey Captain Man and Kid Danger.
Hey Future Bose.
Hey past Bose.
That’s me.
I married Bose’s mom yesterday.
Which means I get to go on vacation.
With her. Not with Bose.
So he’s your responsibility now.
What?
Watch him, feed him, change his diapers. Whatever.
I’ll be back in two days.
His mom assures me that she’ll know
if you try and swap him out for another kid.
So don’t even try that.
Dang it!
If you keep him safe and mostly unharmed,
there might just be a statue of you in your future.
if you know what I’m saying and what I’m saying is
I’ll give you a statue.
Yes! Yes!
See you in two days.
Now turn this thing off or look away.
Unless you wanna see me in the tiniest, beach legal, swimsuit in the world.
Uh, nope, hard pass, hard pass, hard pass.
Come on, buddy.
Dude, no we can’t just take this kid back to the man cave.
So we just uh find some excuse to dump him with
Shasper, Shiper, Char…
errlotte.
Charlotte. Wow I can’t stop myself.
I feel like you could’ve.
Cat’s outta the bag.
We know someone named Charlotte.
Great.
Can’t wait to meet her, Shasper, Shiper, and Henry!
Mmm, let’s go!
Dude, dude, no we can’t stick this kid with any of those people.
Because they’re all at One Night in the Desert!
Uh even Shiper?
Yes, she’s graduating already.
Before shou. She graduating before shou are?
She took a lot of shummer school and I can’t stinkin’ believe
this is stappening to me!
Careful!
You could’ve severely injured my chances at gettin’ a statue.
Ow! Hey! Get back here!