Satsang with Mooji.
Who we really are.
Are you willing to disappear? (with subtitles)
[Questioner] I feel I have taken up enough time.
[Mooji] That is another dirty one! [laughter]
[Q.] Alright. Yes, OK! [laughs]
[Mooji] That's another dirty one. You are totally, totally ...
[Q.] Alright, I will be more honest. I am feeling uncomfortable.
[Mooji] OK, OK.
[Q.] I am a bit panicked.
[M.] The discomfort comes, because you are beginning to recognise
some ... some gremlins.
[Q.] Some what? [M.] Gremlins.
[M.] Some thought bubbles that are there ...
[Q.] It is the last bit you said, about being the last flare of the fire.
[Q.] Somehow that's terrifying. And yet there is this that knows,
[Q.] I don't die, nothing dies and everything is. It is so strong!
[Mooji] Yes! Let me tell you what it is.
It is amazing that there are 6 or 7 billion people on the planet,
and this one thought ... I am going to tell you what it is, no secret!
The fear of losing the identity is so strong
that a handful of human beings will come out of it.
[Q.] Yet the longing for it at the same time, they seem to co-exist.
[M.] Maybe that's the tension of existence itself. I don't know.
But I will tell you this thing, that this thought,
'Somehow I am going to be thinned out into the Infinite,
which sounds great, maybe the Buddha did it, but do you know what?
I have my kids to look after and my job to do',
is enough to put you again into another womb.
And you will purchase it, almost gratefully.
This idea that when the bubbles are going and something ...
I was in Brazil just now. We had a beautiful Satsang one evening,
with people who have been on this journey of seeking for a long time.
And it was so powerful I would say.
And the next day one woman came and a lot of fear was coming up.
And one of the friends there, Hari Dharma, said to her,
'Mooji's here. Come!' And she said, 'No, I don't want to go in there,
because when I go to this place with him,
I start to feel I am disappearing'.
'I am disappearing and I am sorry, I am not ready for that at all.'
This is what it is about, are you willing to disappear?
Or do you want to keep on appearing?
[Q.] It's more comfortable looking over the gate, not going through it.
[Mooji] Is it? Is it?
Because of thoughts like that, you've been bearing unbearable discomfort
in the idea, 'Over there ... at least I am here!
Maybe over there I am not.'
But 'I' as separation, I am not.
The mind will create such intense delusion
that even when you are sitting with a being who is free,
you still won't believe it.
You are thinking, 'But maybe he is not completely free'.
'Maybe that is why we can see him,
because in my mind, if you are free, you are gone.'
Something overrides the obvious,
which is the fear generated through your own mind,
it says, 'To return to my Self is like the Big Bang!
And I'm just not going to be.
I am not going to know myself as I have always known myself.'
And there is endearment to that idea of self,
'Even though whatever else is going on, at least, I am a self.'
'I have autonomy. I have privacy.
And if I'm going to discover my Buddha nature,
it seems like a big price to pay!'
And I say, but what price are you paying?
It's not like you are being asked to hand over all your sweeties.
I am saying, what is the fear even?
The fear is the expectation that something is going to be so different,
that if it goes wrong,
you will not be able to retrieve where you were before.
You want to tie a string around yourself to go into the unknown,
so in case you don't like it, you can guide your way back into the known.
This is the game your mind plays.
[Q.] There was a feeling in the middle of that dark space,
[Q.] that the only place I could settle
[Q.] was watching acts of kindness with ordinary people.
[Q.] That seemed to be enough to let go of this whole thing.
[Q.] I didn't want to come to any more satsangs,
[Q.] or sit around people looking for enlightenment.
[Q.] I was happy to let that be enough.
[M.] Yes, the mind wants to strike a deal. It's an early deal.
[Q.] OK.
[Mooji] Yes, it's an early deal, a quick payoff.
And it might sound great, 'I've been to enough satsangs,
and nothing really fantastic has happened. And now - annihilation!'
[Q.] No, the feeling was,
[Q.] 'You have done all this stuff and you haven't used any of it!'
[M.] So that is your bogeyman! [Q.] Yes, back in the old stuff.
[Q.] When I first got involved in this with the Sufis,
[Q.] I remember the feeling, I was quite young then,
[Q.] and the feeling was so strong of, 'Why would I ever leave?'
[Q.] And I remember a feeling like that as a child.
[M.] All your talk is based upon yourself as a particular identity.
[M.] You are still holding on to that.
And if there is an identity, there is an 'I'-entity.
What is this entity?
What is it that you are speaking about?
Who are you, the one who is being represented through these words?
Please take a look.
Because it could just be that you are postponing.
[Music]