- [Babish] This episode is brought to you by Cash App.
When personal finance connects you to both your funds
and the stuff that matters,
that's money, and that's Cash App.
You know what else is money?
Using it to request the $50 your weird cousin owes you.
Actually finally getting that $50.
Coffee in good stoneware mugs.
A comprehensive skincare routine.
And of course, a bagel that contains literally everything,
including money.
That's money, that's Cash App.
Download Cash App from the App Store
or Google Play store today
to add your $Cashtag to the 80 million and counting.
- [Jobu Tupaki] And I put everything on a bagel.
Everything.
All my hopes and dreams, my old report cards.
Every breed of dog, every last personal ad on Craigslist.
Sesame, poppy seed,
Salt.
- [Babish] Hey, what's up, guys?
Welcome back to Binging with Babish,
where this week we're taking a look at the everything bagel
from "Everything Everywhere All at Once."
For which, as you can see, I have procured all the spices.
That is, I went to the grocery store,
went to the spice aisle and grabbed one of everything.
Clocking in at just shy of 100 spices or spice mixes,
and just shy of $900.
So that we can mix them all together in a giant bowl
and make a truly everything bagel seasoning.
First, the simple action of taking off all the damn caps
and seals for your protection,
and disposing of said caps.
We're not gonna need 'em where we're going.
Whoa, that felt funny. Probably nothing.
Let's start this off with appropriately,
everything bagel seasoning.
After all, everything does indeed contain everything.
Some, quote, "prime cuts steak seasoning."
In fact, several steak seasonings.
Just a little bit of cayenne pepper,
I'd hate for it to be overpowering.
Now, as for the many pepper and herb grinders,
I'm just going to give each a few spirited grinds.
Tricolored peppercorns, Greek oregano,
and my favorite, szechuan peppercorns,
which,
uh oh (glass breaking)
that doesn't, (voice echoing)
I think I broke something. (voice echoing)
It's probably fine, Not sure what happened,
which side you're on here. I think we're good.
Next up,
it's not Greek oregano Now we got, quote unquote
it's Sicilian oregano. "seafood seasoning."
(fast-forwarded voice)
(tape squealing)
Oh, I missed a cap, folks.
Left a cap on. Just give me a second here.
Whatever you do, don't look directly into the spices.
(low rumbling)
On the "Picking Up Spices While Whispering" show.
Whole allspice berries.
Whole green cardamon pods.
Ooh, this is one of my favorites: Beau Monde seasoning.
And of course, granulated garlic.
Welcome back to the "Holding Spices Show,"
we're holding spices.
We're not picking 'em up. We're not putting 'em down.
You'll notice I'm holding all the
pantry starter pack spices today.
Except of course, for paprika.
As you guys know, I hate paprika.
So we're just going to put a tiny little bit,
as much paprika as humanly possible,
in our everything bagel seasoning.
You guys know it's my favorite, so we're going to add
just the right amount of paprika.
You guys know I love a moderate amount of paprika.
Alrighty, here we go.
I've been wanting to do one of these
grocery haul videos forever.
Let's see, what we're working...
Been wanting to un-box these now forever.
Garlic, some pre-ground nutmeg, dried parsley.
Oh. Um.
This is not quite what I expected.
Paprika, turmeric,
rosemary, ground turmeric again. Hunh.
And of course, old bay. (voice echoing)
Got some old bay, hanging out.
Yeah. Not what I expected in this headphone
Unboxing.
Saffron threads, bay leaves.
And I don't remember getting hot dogs.
- [Voiceover] Hot dogs seasoned to perfection.
Enjoy our unique combination of
cumin, clove, coriander, and crust Calabrian chiles.
That is, of course, unless you're in a universe
with hot dog fingers.
In which case you're a monster.
- [Babish] Hunh? I'm gonna let that one go.
and activate your turmeric with your black pepper.
And thyme. Not just any thyme, but thyme itself.
Careful you don't get it on your hands.
Uh oh. Got a little too much thyme on my hands.
Brush that off.
And there we go.
I got no more mileage out of this pun.
- [Babish] Now of all the spices that
are going into the everything bagel seasoning,
obviously there's one that I hate the most.
The c-word. Cilantro.
Why don't we show what we think.
- [Distorted Spice Voice] I'll add
a little splash of Babish.
- Oh, hey. You know what I forgot?
Cilantro is my favorite herb, or spice even.
Let's see. What's next?
We need seeds.
Where did I?
(underwater gurgling)
(water splashing)
Um.
Ancho chili, schwarma spices,
nutritional yeast, red curry powder,
Baharat, seafood seasoning,
Gochugaru,
Brown sage,
Berbere,
Ras el Hanout,
paprika,
tandoori masala, adobo,
dried chives.
(indistinct arguing)
And yeah, I think that's just about everything.
Every spice imaginable,
Except salt, I forgot the salt.
Make sure you add the salt.
That's literally said out loud in the movie.
Now that we've got our super psychedelic seasoning
all sorted, we need a bagel to put it on.
I'm just following the recipe
from our Stephen universe bagel episode.
Maybe with the exception of this part.
That is where I'm shaping it into one giant bagel.
I'm doing the old shove a finger in the center
and stretch it out like a tire technique,
and then covering it with grease plastic wrap,
letting it rest in the fridge,
at least overnight up to three days,
before briefly boiling in a bicarbonative bath
spiked with malt syrup,
hence the dark color.
Little less than a minute per side
before coating with everything.
Not only is the gelatinous layer
created by the boiling going to give us an excellent crust.
It's going to adhere our toppings to the bagel
before it goes into a preheated 425 degree Fahrenheit oven
for 25 to 35 minutes.
Until golden brown and crisp
but not really puffed up the way that I wanted it to be.
I think that the things various size was its own undoing,
too much weight and surface area preventing good rise.
And even though we ended up
with a kind of closed textured interior,
it's still better than the bagel-shaped
wonder bread that they sell you at the supermarket.
But the big question, what does everything taste like?
A little bit of cream cheese for objectivity,
and I'm thrilled to say it tastes really,
really interesting.
You can actually pick up specific flavors
by focusing on different cuisines and regions.
You focus on Indian flavors, you pick up turmeric
and ginger and garlic.
But then you think about Mexican food
and suddenly you've got chilies and oregano.
It is a chorus of beautiful voices, all screaming at once.
But somehow it works in a beguiling, bewildering way.
It is everything, everywhere, all at once,
bagel seasoning.
Thanks again to Cash App.
That's money, that's Cash App.
Download Cash App from the app store
or Google play store today to add your cash tag
to the 80 million and counting.
(smooth harmonic music)
(smooth harmonic music continues)