School Library Gaga: Ugh these lyrics suck,
Taylor: What’s wrong?
Gaga: I’m trying to get new fans, so I’m writing songs about gay people.
But I don’t wanna write something corny like...”you betta work bitch”
*Brintey takes notes* Katy: Ooh you should start saying “paws
up” or some something corny like that.
Gaga: ooh good one, I’ll have those suckers hook,line and sinker.
But I suck at writing, I’m totally stressed.
Taylor: I thought on my feet and looked for any opportunity for sabotage.
Taylor: Oh well hey, I have this really cool stuff I’ll bring you some
Gaga: Omg thankyou.
I guess we’re not all perfect.
Ha and my mother told me when I was young we were born superstars.
*Gasp* That’s it!
I’ll just copy my mom Madonna!
Janet Jackson: hey students, be quiet!
Talk quietly, like this.
Katy: You always talk like that vice principal Janet...
Kesha’s Store Kesha: good thinking Tailgate, Mother Monster
is going down.
*montage of Taylor giving Gaga stuff* Gaga: Heyyy sexyback
*Replaces Gaga’s bible with anti christ bible, gaga sings Judas*
*Replaces outfits with meat.* *everyone’s wearing meat*
Kesha: This blows, it’s been 3 days and all we’ve done is start Gaga a new fashion
trend.
Taylor: why did we think we could do this, we’re not Ashton Kutcher.
Perez: What are moo-moo bars?
Taylor: oh they’re nutrition bars, my mom gave them to our cows back in Tennessee to
make them gain weight.... Taylor:They’re these weird nutrition bars
my mom uses to lose weight.
Gaga: *gasp* gimme it, Gaga: it’s all written in like....redneck
or something Gaga;mmmm I wanna look like that Nicole Richie
girl.....
Nicki: um but why you’re so skinny....
Rihanna: Skinny legend Gaga: Ugh, shutup....
Gaga Phone Update “Don’t be a fat, just be a skinny queen”
Taylor: While we were busy sabotaging Lady Gaga’s career, I got tired of waiting for
my one true love John Mayer to fall in love with me, so I acted swiftly, no pun intended.
I kept that PMZ paper from a week ago and slid it into John’s locker.
Awwe he keeps little guitars on his locker, what a dreamboat.
Okay maybe i am crazy.....
John: WHAT?!
Katy: Johnny, I just got my check from my label, and did you see Firework on the billboard
charts?
John: We’re done Katy!
Katy: *GASP* ok whatever Lunch room-
*THE NEXT DAY*
Paula: Well if it isn’t my favorite little niece , or should I say famous little niece.
Pumpkin, you are on just about every god darn ham radio i got on my plantation, I-I mean
house.
Taylor: Thanks Aunt Paula, back In Tennessee no one cared about my Fearless album, and
now i’m a Pop Queen!
Paula: About that, you ditzy chicks need some meat on your bones, here!
Be sure to share some with Lady Gala and Kathy but-but not the other 2.
Taylor: O -M-G... gaga’s face was growing bull horns, i guess moo-moo bars aren’t
safe for humans
Rihanna: Hey Katy, where’s John, and why is this goofy bloke Russel here.
Katy: So breaking story,.... *ahem* i said BREAKING FUCKING STORY
*Paparazzi gather around* Katy: John Mayer and I broke up.....again........and
I’m marrying Russel Brand!
Wooohooo! *crowd cheers*
Russel: She’s the love of my life alright, pip pip cheerio and all that buggery.
Nicki: *whisper* don't even think about talking to that man Taylor
Taylor: *gasp* it worked, John broke up with Katy, this was my chance.
If John was in our lunch period i’d ask him out right now, I couldn’t wait for Mrs.
Spears class.
Adele: Hello girls, I’d like to ask that you reconsider making me a pop queen.
Nicki: um excuse me chile who is you again?
Adele: I’m Adele and as you can see, my album is still no.1 on billboard.
That’s the requirements I gather?
Lady Gaga: Adele, sweetie, how do I put this.
You may be popular on the charts, kind of pretty, can sing well enough.....but you’re
just not our type of pop queen.
Adele: I beg your pardon Rihanna: Girls, maybe we can put her on a
strict Gaga: You will never be a pop queen!
Adele: why on heavenly earth not!?
Gaga: Because you’re ...you’re like a size 80
Adele: *gasps* Taylor: how could lady gaga treat Adele like
that?
Is this what drugs and fame do to people?
Madonna: Stephanie Darling, you’re Monster Ball tour is selling through the roof!
We’re so stinkin rich Gaga: MOM!
Leave now, you’re so embarrassing!
Madonna: I hope none of you flops are touring this winter break, because everyone will be
at my daughter Lady Gaga’s tour.
And I will too!
Because I’m her mother, Madonna.
Gaga: ugh mother of monster....
Madonna: Like a virgin...