We've got to move on. A lot of new small cars have been launched recently.
And the producer said that thousands and thousands of people
are going to buy them and that it was our responsibility to test them.
Now, frankly, this was a shoulder-sagging moment really.
Not a good prospect and then I had a brainwave.
Instead of us testing them,
we'd get them tested by Mrs Hammond, Mrs May and Mrs Clarkson,
our mothers!
The first complaint, the cups are dirty.
This is Mrs Hammond. Currently she drives a Mazda 626,
but she once had a Volvo 340, which she describes as lovely.
So, we can see where her son gets his taste in cars from.
This is Mrs Clarkson. She doesn't care what car she drives,
so long as it has an automatic gearbox and Classic FM on the stereo.
So naturally, she has a Honda Jazz.
And finally, this is Mrs May, who has a Seat Rosa.
She's been done for speeding twice, which is two times more than James.
So that's the mothers and these are the cars they'll be testing.
The new Renault Modus... Honey I Shrunk The Espace.
It's crammed with lots of storage space and versatile seating.
Then there's the space-age Peugeot 1007.
This has electronic sliding doors and a pick-and-mix dashboard.
And finally, there's the new Honda Jazz.
Well, when I say new, it has new headlamps.
No real tricks here, but it is a Honda,
so it's likely to last even longer than our mothers.
Anyway, it's time to introduce the cars to our mums...
Wouldn't it be funny if they hit each other?
..and get their expert opinions.
One's yellow. What's the other? Blue and a ghastly green.
Clearly some blanks need to be filled in.
-Hello, Mums. -Hello.
-Hello, James. -Hi, there.
There they are. They're all small cars.
The viewers, they want to know which is the best car, from your point of view.
Because if it's just us, we'll drive round corners too fast
and squeal rubber and that'll be pointless.
They all cost between £11,000 and £12,000.
They're all small. They've all got 1.4 litre engines. They're all...
-Is the heater on? -The heaters are on. They're warm.
They're all going to have heaters. You'd be hard pressed to find anything...
If I say I don't like the Jazz will you still speak to me?
-No. -Oh!
With the bones of the cars explained
we thought it might be a good idea to crack on with things.
Now, time for the first challenge, the living with it test.
I've set up all three cars for us, not our mums,
what we want to know is how easy or hard it is for them
to get settled in and make themselves at home.
Yeah, now on the signal, the mothers are going to run to the cars, Le Mans style,
unlock the doors, get in,
they'll have to adjust the seats, adjust the mirrors,
change the radio station from Kiss FM to Classic FM
and then, unlike any other motor race you've ever seen,
the winner is the first one to set off.
The conventional Honda should play well here,
unlike the more high-tech Frenchies,
especially the Peugeot with its electric doors
and flappy paddle gearbox.
And they're off!
No, no, no!
Mrs Clarkson goes for the Peugeot.
Mrs Hammond for the Renault.
The child-locks must be on.
And Mrs May for the simple-as-you-like Honda.
You need your seat in a comfortable position.
I'm not here to help you. I'm here to make sure you don't cheat.
-Do you like the doors? -No.
I can't help you. I can only check you don't cheat.
-But it is a knob on the right. -Oh, yes! I got it!
There you go. Excellent.
-What are you fiddling with? -Nothing. I was checking it's working.
Oh, heavens! Mrs May has already got her engine started!
You need to press a button that unfolds the mirrors.
-Do you want to put your specs on? -I can't see buttons.
Do... Engine.
I'm pressing the little button and nothing's happening.
-Yes! -Yes!
-Just check my hair. -Yes.
-There's a key. No, because... -Key...
-There's your wipers. -Those are wipers.
That's your indicator on.
Yeah, what you're doing there is pressing every button
until you hear Terry Wogan!
-Right. -That's Radio 1.
-Oh, foot on the brake. Is that it? -Could be.
-Yes! -Ah, you see?
-For being corrupted. -No, that's 4.
This is technically a race.
-That's too far! -It seeks.
-Yes! -Yes! Go!
Go!
Mrs May is underway.
Victory!
-That's easy... -Well, good on her!
No, it's just that must mean the Honda Jazz is an easy car to understand.
We're good to go.
The Mays have gone.
Clarkson's not going anywhere.
So close! Oh, and it's gone away! It was on the dashboard and it's gone!
You got it!
That's better. Okay, go!
Now we move into the flappy paddle gearbox.
-Put it into auto? -Could do.
-Will it go now? -May do.
-We're moving! Handbrake's on. -We're not... The handbrake's on.
Now!
-Hooray! -There is movement!
So, then, a clear victory for the Honda Jazz in the user-friendliness test.
And a solid last place for the decidedly unfriendly Peugeot.
But what will happen in the next challenge?
Right. It's time to test these cars for outright speed
and to do that, we've organised a special mothers' drag race.
The clear favourite is the Renault Modus.
Goes from nought to 60 in 11 and a half seconds,
thanks to its 97 brake horsepower engine.
Whereas the Peugeot, with just 75 brake horsepower
and those heavy electric doors, is the rank outsider.
Good start, that. The lights were green for 15 minutes.
Come on, come on.
It's nought to 60 in 18 seconds, the Peugeot.
Did the Renault win there?
Yes, it did, pipping the Honda and thrashing the Peugeot!
-How fast did you go across the line? -No idea. I didn't want to look.
-Anyone see a speedometer? -No.
-Can we do it again? -Not really, no.
So, one victory each for the Renault and the Honda
and nothing for the Peugeot.
But our maternal shoot-out isn't over yet.