- You know, I was going to come out here
and I was going to talk about the economy,
and whether or not the government should
ease regulatory restrictions on financial institutions,
but I think I would rather play a game.
Doesn't that sound like more fun?
[loud cheers and applause]
So-- [cheers and applause]
There's a show called "Idiotest" on...
[audience laughter] Game Show Network,
Have you seen the show, "Idiotest"?
[cheers and applause] Yeah.
You have?
So we played it once here, before--
'cause I assumed we did not have any idiots in the audience,
and I was--I was mistaken, I was sadly mistaken.
[audience laughter] Because I--
I just assume you're not idiots,
and I know today we have no idiots in the audience,
so I feel safe to play the game with you today,
and know--just to reassure the world watching
that you're not idiots.
Here's the unfortunate thing: if we find out you are an idiot,
you're going to have to sit in an idiot section
for the entire show... [audience laughter]
[audience laughter]
With a ridiculous hat on. So--
[audience laughter] Well, anyway, you're not idiots.
What am I thinking? You don't have to--
Let's see who--who is sure they're not an idiot?
It's an easy one, okay? - Okay.
- They get harder from here. - Okay.
- What is something-- what can animals make
that no other animal can?
(woman) What an elephant--what can an elephant make?
- You--I know what I'm saying.
[audience laughter]
Turns out I'm an idiot.
[audience laughter]
- What-- what can an elephant make
that no other animal can make?
- Um...
[audience laughter] Tusks?
- Yes, well, that might be true.
There are other animals that have tusks, though.
- Oh, correct, right. [audience laughter]
They don't live in Glendora, though, so--
- What it is is a baby elephant.
- Oh! [laughs] [cheers and applause]
[cheers and applause] - You're gonna head--come here.
[cheers and applause]
Get over there. (audience) Oh!
Sorry. [applause]
[applause]
All right.
[audience laughter]
Here we go. - Okay.
This is relatively easy as well.
A boy is walking down the road with a doctor.
- Mm-hmm. - The boy is the doctor's son.
But the doctor isn't the boy's father.
How is that possible?
- The doctor's a woman.
- Exactly! [cheers and applause]
Yay! [cheers and applause]
[cheers and applause]
Good for you! [cheers and applause]
[cheers and applause]
Yay! [cheers and applause]
[cheers and applause]
Okay, what month do people sleep the least?
- [whispering inaudibly]
Now I feel like an idiot. Um...
- You'll feel more like one when you sit next to her.
[audience laughter] - June?
- June? And why would you say that?
- 'Cause it's the beginning of summer.
- No, it's February because they have less days.
- Oh, I feel so dumb! [cheers and applause]
- Yeah. No, an idiot, not dumb.
That way.
A cowboy rides into town on Friday.
He stays for three days and leaves on Friday.
How does he do it?
- Oh, God. - Cowboy rides into town
on Friday, stays for three days...
- And-- - Leaves on Friday.
How could he do that?
- Uh...
[audience laughter] I don't know.
I don't know. - You don't know?
- I don't know. - The horse's name is Friday.
[cheers and applause]
Go join them.
All right, here you go.
You're locked in a freezing cabin,
with no way out.
There is a candle, a wood stove, and a lantern.
You only have one match. What do you light first?
You want me to say it again?
- The-- - You're locked in a--
You're in a freezing cabin.
- Right. - It's freezing, right?
No way out. There's a candle,
a wood stove, a lantern.
You have one match. What do you light first?
- The stove. - Mm.
Well, most people would say the candle,
so you could light all those other things,
but it's actually the match.
All right. [cheers and applause]
[cheers and applause]
Lemar? Join them.
Jane was born on December 28th,
yet her birthday always falls in the summer.
How is that possible?
[whispering inaudibly]
This is ridiculously easy. [audience laughter]
- Is it? - Yep.
- Can you say it one more time? - All right.
Jane was born on December 28th,
yet her birthday always falls in the summer.
How is that possible?
- Can I have a lifeline? - Hmm?
- I'll just go on over there. - All right.
[audience laughter]
[cheers and applause]
By the way, for playing, each of you idiots over there,
you're getting a $500 Best Buy gift card, so--
[cheers and applause]
We reward that! [cheers and applause]
[cheers and applause]
And you, too, yes. [cheers and applause]
[cheers and applause]
And the rest of you get this dance!