- Today we eat a 29 year old chocolate bar.
- Let's talk about that.
(funky electronic music)
(fire crackles)
Good Mythical Morning.
- Attention Mythical Society members,
there's a crew Q&A on Discord today
exclusively for members so get involved
at MythicalSociety.com.
- It is a sweet, sweet week of love,
and we love chocolate.
So we are continuing our celebration of chocolate
with another day of chocolate lovers' week!
'Cause we just can't get enough!
(90s dance music)
Wait, wait, wait, hold on, hold on.
Listen.
If you are gonna be slinging chocolate again,
I don't want it all over my back.
Just sling it gingerly directly down my throat.
- Hold this.
(Rhett chuckles)
(90s dance music)
- You have to appreciate every chocolate you get
because you never know when that chocolate is going
to get canceled.
(chuckles) You okay?
(crew laughs)
(sighs) But thanks to the magic of the internet,
we got ahold of some exclusive
out of print chocolate products to try today.
It's time for To Be Discontinued: Chocolate Edition.
- All these products were discontinued
and are no longer in production.
We're gonna be tasting them for most recent
to oldest and we'll be deciding whether we should
bring it back or nah, that's whack.
- We should probably tell ya that some
of these chocolates are very old
and it's a good thing that chocolate keeps so well
because they're gonna taste exactly
like they were meant to taste.
Let's start.
- Yeah, over the last 77 years,
Mars Candy Company has given us new M&M flavors
such as crispy, caramel, and even birthday cake.
But what Mars giveth, Mars can also taketh away
and we got ahold of one of the deceased M&M's,
the discontinued Chili Nut M&M's.
- Yeah so this is a chili flavored roasted peanut
inside of an M&M.
It came out in 2016, limited edition along
with coffee nut and honey nut.
I didn't know about any of these.
- Here's one.
- Oh I got the same color.
- [Link] It's a bit powdery.
- Let me get a different color.
- But there are other colors.
- Oh whoa the chili nuts have been broken.
- Mm, oh goodness, what are we gonna do?
Let's just eat a whole one.
- I'm gonna eat a orange one.
- Okay, I'm gonna eat a red one.
Mm.
So not too old but they don't taste new.
- Oh, whoa.
Whoa!
- I'm not getting any chili yet.
- You don't get the spice?
The spice is pretty nice.
- There wasn't any spice in that one.
Try this one.
- The orange one kept the spice.
- The red was not spicy but wow.
- Really? - The orange definitely is.
Yeah.
- Orange holds spice better than red?
- Orange keeps the spice, y'all.
- That's counterintuitive.
- It's not too spicy.
- This is something very, very nice, unexpected.
You can't get any of this, there's so many other kinds
of M&M's but how many of them have the spicy,
savory flavor to balance out the sweet?
I think this should be an option.
- I mean I personally am not into it.
If it started spicy and ended sweet, I might like it,
but the opposite's happening so now I'm just left
with a hot mouth.
Chili Nut M&M's.
- Bring it back. - Nah that's whack.
- We have a contact on eBay named David Cross.
He's our Altoids man.
He got us some Altoids before
and I don't know where he gets 'em from
but he's a good source.
Thank you David Cross.
Not the David Cross but, you know, a David Cross.
(chuckles)
- [Link] We still paid $150 for these.
- Yeah we did. - I just think he was asking
for a whole lot more before we said we'd give him
a shout out so there you go, David Cross,
but not that David Cross.
Again. - A David Cross.
Chocolate-dipped Altoids because there's nothing like
a breath mint that gives you love handles.
(Link chuckles)
- So we got that one and then we've also got
the creme de menthe and these were introduced
between 07 and 2010 so they're between nine
and 12 years old.
- Good.
- If I open these things up, if you look at that,
they look like bad quail eggs.
You know how chocolate starts to turn white-ish,
that's definitely what's happened here.
- [Rhett] These are not as white-ish.
- Well these are the creme de menthe,
so maybe there's more creme that's coming through.
Let's try this one first.
I mean you just can't chomp down on an Altoid.
- Yeah you can, I did.
- Oh well that might have been my tooth.
- Oh man.
You know what this is like? - The Altoid itself
is totally in tact.
- This is like the Andes Mints that your grandma
used to have in a little bowl but with a crunch.
- A wicked crunch-- - A wicked crunch.
I just gleaked on myself.
- You gleaked?
- Right onto my belly. - Okay.
- Altoids make you gleak, thank you David Cross.
- I find that to be the best way to moisturize my belly.
- With a gleak? - Yeah.
Here's a creme de menthe.
I'm not really having a different experience.
- They're not as strong.
Now, I feel like you might have to tap out
for this one because you don't like chocolate with mint.
But as a representative of the chocolate
and mint brigade in the world,
I can say that these are absolutely remarkable.
Even a decade old. - Yeah.
- In fact, I'm gonna take these with me,
put 'em in my pocket and have a good time with myself.
- Well I'm gonna take these 'cause I'm not tapping out.
I like to eat chocolate
and then I like to eat mint afterward.
And that's what happens. - Okay so we're saying
chocolate-dipped Altoids-- - Bring it back.
- Now we all now that Elvis loved a peanut butter
and banana combination and in fact,
he liked it so much that Reese Cups put out
this limited edition peanut butter
and banana creme peanut butter cup
that we're gonna try right now.
- Now this was a collector's item introduced in 2007
for the 30th anniversary of Elvis's death
so it is 12 years old.
We got it for $16 and the seller said
sold as a collector's item only and not meant
to be eaten as it is long past the expiration date.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
- I don't get it, man.
I don't get it.
- We're gonna take your warning
and hold on, we can instantly win an Elvis tribute card.
- Did we? - Not an instant winner
but buddy if it said it was,
I would have gone to Graceland and demanded it.
- We've already been there, we're friends of Graceland.
Now you know how Reese Cups taste when they're old
so I just don't-- - Like old Reese Cups.
- I don't have high hopes of this being good
at this age.
- You broke it.
Oh gosh. - Look at that cross-section.
- It does not smell good.
- I don't even smell peanut butter.
- There's a part of my brain that's telling me
to listen to the seller right now.
There's another part of my brain that's saying
you're on the internet, brother.
- Get the clicks.
(Rhett chuckles)
I taste something that used to be chocolate.
Oh gosh, I taste something that used to be peanut butter.
Are you getting any banana?
- I'm getting an echo of banana.
- I'm not swallowing this, first of all.
- Whoops.
(crew laughs)
- It is emitting that rancid smell
from my mouth that says this is gonna give you a headache.
- I'm getting like a 12 year echo of banana,
you know what I'm saying?
I'm trying to take this taste and rewind it
and recreate what it was originally supposed to be.
- Yeah I don't wanna say it's whack
just because this is old.
I wanna say it was what it should be.
- Even if it was what it should be
and as much as I respect Elvis,
I have to say that the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup
is a perfect candy that should not be messed with--
- [Link] You don't have to argue with me.
- Even by the king of rock and roll.
And so that's the page I'm on.
- I don't really like bananas.
- All right so we're saying collector's edition Elvis
Reese's Peanut Butter and Banana Creme Cup.
- [Both] Nah, that's whack.
- Speak of the devil.
The next item is the R Crumb Devil Girl Choco-Bar.
- Now this features the art of Robert Crumb, R Crumb,
very famous cartoonist and look at this box
of 15 bars which we paid $190 for on eBay.
Look at that illustration.
That is just exquisite, that's exquisite.
- Very flexible. - That's exquisite.
Let's open this thing up, get right to it.
There's enough to go around, guys.
It's like a cigar box.
Wow. - Oh my goodness.
- Another angle of the bad devil girl.
This is kinda cool.
- It says it's bad for you.
- Seven evils in one.
And then it-- - I feel so scandalous.
- It lists them. - She says eat me.
- This is 25 years old.
Let's just open one because we need to resell this on eBay.
- [Rhett] Man, it looks so new.
- All right so there's that, what's on the inside of it?
Crumby kitchen sink stuff, I don't know.
This is packed with details.
All right so again we've got a chocolate bar
that has the whitening of 25 years of age.
- But it's just milk chocolate.
Chocolate can't really go bad.
- Yes it can, smell it.
- You can eat dirt, man.
If you can eat dirt, you can eat old chocolate.
- This is a 25 year old sedimentary layer of chocolate.
Mm, gosh, it's absolutely horrible tasting.
- It's not that bad.
- It is! - I mean it's not good.
- There's nothing chocolate about the taste.
- I think what we really need to evaluate though
should it be brought back and the fact is is that
from a candy standpoint, it's just a chocolate bar.
I mean sure it's got a devil woman on it
which is intriguing and-- - All of the design
is stellar. - Yeah yeah yeah.
- It's super cool looking.
- But you don't need that on your chocolate bar.
You just need that in a poster in your room.
- Yeah, I mean this is like a collector's item.
Glad we have it and I'm not gonna eBay it.
- But no disrespect to R Crumb himself
but I think R Crumb Devil Girl Choco-Bar.
- [Both] Nah, that's whack.
- Well we have unearthed some chocolate
featuring everyone's favorite sports star.
(Rhett chuckles)
Wade Boggs.
That's right, the sports person that you all know
and love from the baseball world Wade Boggs--
- Okay now you're talking-- - Had a--
- You're talking about Wade Boggs but my daddy
used to talk about Wage Boggs like he was part God.
- Which part? - The belly.
The slight over belly.
And that's the thing I love about baseball players
is you got a little bit of the belly
but you can still knock it out of the park.
352% of the time or really 35.2% of the time.
- Oh gosh, how old is this thing?
- It's from 1990 so that makes it 29 years old.
I love the shape first of all.
I love a square almost baseball card sized chocolate bar.
- That makes sense, all right we're gonna slide that out.
- It's a catchy name too.
352 bar, give me one of those 352 bars.
- And we only paid 10 bucks for this.
- Man, quite a steal.
- Nobody wants this. - We only got one?
- Oh my gosh, look at that.
- [Rhett] Five-time American League batting crown.
- It's like the Shroud of Turin.
Hold on is that Wade Boggs?
It's our baseball savior Wade Boggs.
- You know Wade Boggs-- - Oh look!
There is Wade Boggs! - It is Wade Boggs.
- [Link] What the crap!
- Oh, you know what, it is like a baseball card.
- Yeah it is.
- It totally makes sense. - Yeah yeah.
- It actually is genius, look at that.
- [Link] Smell of it.
- Smells like Boggs.
- Wade Boggs.
- You know Wade Boggs allegedly once drank
64 beers on a cross-country flight.
You know we need better sports heroes these days.
In 1990 they had it figured out.
Now we just look up to athletes
for like giving to charities. (chuckles)
(laughs)
- When I smell this, I immediately get a headache.
I just don't wanna, I'm not gonna swallow it.
- Okay. - Every time we do these
I have a headache for the next three hours.
- I think I am gonna swallow it.
In honor of Boggs.
- [Link] You want his head?
Here it is. - Well I don't want
the whole head but I mean in my mind,
once chocolate hits a decade old, why not go three?
You know what I'm saying?
- Right, that's true.
Bogg it and jog it. - If Wade Boggs
can drink 64 beers on one flight,
I can have a piece of his old-ass chocolate.
(both laugh)
- Okay here we go.
- It kinda bogs you down, you know?
- Again, it's, I mean in its prime,
it's probably just a piece of chocolate.
- But with the face--
- Oh gosh!
But then you get hit with something that smells
and tastes nasty.
Are you smell, are you tasting,
or are you experiencing that?
- I put a little bit of Boggs in there.
You put a whole bite of Boggs.
- Oh gosh. - That was your problem.
- Never go full Boggs.
- (chuckles) You know what Boggs?
Is he still alive?
I mean drinking 64 beers, okay he's still with us.
Mr. Boggs--
- Come pick up your,
come pick up your bar, buddy.
We don't need it.
- I think Boggs should make a comeback
and if he does make a career comeback,
I would gladly buy dozens of these bars at a time.
But I don't think that's gonna happen
so I think we have to say the Wade Boggs bar from 1990--
- [Both] Nah, that's whack.
- So, Altoids, do us a flavor.
Bring 'em on back, okay?
- Yes, and thank you for liking, commenting and subscribing.
- You know what time it is.
- Hi I'm Grayson. - And I'm Brandon.
- And we just got married and it's time to spin
the Wheel of Mythicality.
- [All] Woo!
- Oh!
Party towel! - Congratulations.
Click the top link to watch us test love spells
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