You know, there's a lot of shows and movies that, for one reason or another,
leave an impression on people. Some show us the world as we wish it was.
Others show us the real dark, gritty parts of our life that no one wants to talk about.
Sometimes, though, these TV shows and movies they they end up mixing the two together,
combining the unflattering with the fantastic, blurring the lines between them to the point where what is gritty realism and what is polished
idealism, it isn't always clear. Thirteen Reasons Why is a show that sets out with one main objective: to
discuss suicide in a real, raw way and talk about all the little things that can pile up on someone over time. The problem, though,
is that it tries to talk about these real issues in a world that's flat and
polished, with characters that act in no way a real person actually would. In this way it tries to hold up a mirror to our
own world, but instead reflects something altogether
different.
In 13 Reasons Why, we're introduced to the main subject of the series, Hannah Baker.
Hannah has killed herself prior to the events of the show,
but, before she did so, she took the time to write detailed notes and record 13 tapes about why she was going to kill herself.
Right from the beginning, the foundation of the show completely crumbles under its own weight.
We're supposed to sympathize with this teenage girl who was driven into depression,
but still somehow composed and focused enough to come up with an elaborate revenge plot.
Right here, right at the beginning, is where the mirror that's supposed to show us the real world, instead just shows us this polished
fantasy land where the victim finally gets revenge on those who did her wrong.
What is supposed to be a deep dive look at what can drive some of the suicide, is actually just a revenge power fantasy.
This is evident,
not just in the contents of the tapes,
but also in the way that she talks. "No return engagements. No encore. And this time, absolutely no requests.
Get a snack. Settle in. Because I'm about to tell you the story of my life.
More specifically, why my life ended."
Throughout the series, Hannah feels increasingly powerless and victimized by all the other kids at school.
With each episode, we're supposed to feel more and more sorry for her as we learn about what everyone did to her.
And how they drove her, little by little, to ultimately end her life.
But once again the fantasy supersedes the reality making us think something is realistic,
when actually it's not. In the first episode, Hannah goes on the date with Justin, who was apparently attractive,
I guess, and he takes a picture of her going down a slide this picture, which shows a little bit of her underwear,
gets group-texted to the entire school.
Everyone immediately shuns her and rumors that she's a slut or she's easy, they spread like wildfire and, all of a sudden,
she has no allies or friends to talk to whatsoever.
If everyone can apparently group text everyone else at the entire school,
all Hannah had to do was reply to the same group text, and say something like "lol, all we did was go to the park and he just
kissed me guys. Everybody, chill."
She never even tries to correct any part of the rumor or make any attempt
whatsoever to fight for herself. Now, to be fair, if she was portrayed in the show as like a shy,
introverted girl who had trouble talking to people, then I can totally understand this reaction
But, right from the beginning of the show, Hannah is shown to be sarcastic, witty, down-to-earth, good head on her shoulders,
so, why is her reaction so dissonant with the rest of her character?
But let's just back up for a second. In a world where everyone has a smartphone,
where things like internet porn are just a tap away at any moment,
where teens proudly and unabashedly post sexy photos of themselves on Instagram and Twitter, in a world where sex positivity is at an all-time high,
an upskirt picture of Hannah going down a slide, no one would even bat an eye.
I mean, sure, some people might tease her a little bit and say like "ha, cute undies, Hannah."
But that would be forgotten by third period anyway.
But okay.
Sure. Let's suspend our disbelief, for a second, and say that everything up to now makes sense as the tapes go on her problems get progressively
worse, up to the end when Hannah is raped in a hot tub. Now, to be clear,
I'm not at all making light of the situation, but up to this point,
Hannah had multiple chances to either fix her problems or at least get out of the situation altogether.
She chose, however, to take a none of these.
She continued to let them pile on, blaming everyone else for her situation instead of just dealing with it herself.
At no point
does she talk to her parents or any teachers until the very end. At the end, she goes to the school counselor, Mr.
Porter, to tell him about the rape and he gives her multiple chances to tell him what happened.
Who did it or really any information whatsoever, and she never takes them. When she gets up to leave, he stops her multiple times,
but finally lets her go because he can't force a student to stay against their will and on the tape she then says
Think I've made myself very clear.
No one's coming forward to stop me."
And this is the point, right here at the very end, when Hanna just loses all credibility
and sympathy, at least for me. Even after ignoring all the opportunities to get help or solve her problems, even after pushing
Everyone else away, the school counselor, an adult with real power and ability to actually do something asks her, point blank, and Hannah says
nothing. Then, she turns around and blames him for not dropping everything
he was doing and come after her, even though
she made it very clear that she wanted to leave. She did the same thing earlier in the show after clay tried to have sex
with her. She freaks out and tells him five times to leave, so, of course, he leaves, and then on the tape she says
"Why'd you have to leave?"
There are multiple people who tried to help her or could have helped her and she pushed them all the way one by one.
Then, she constructed an elaborate revenge plot against them and we're supposed to feel bad for her? The idealistic
Hollywood takeaway from 13 Reasons Why is that we should be careful what we say and do, be nice to each other, look out for
Each other, and yes, I agree, people should be a lot nicer and, in the perfect universe, that would happen.
But the realistic take away from the show is to talk to your parents or teachers or someone about what's happening.
Take charge of your own life. Stop focusing on
What's out of your control and focus on what you can do about it. Of course, I'm not blaming the victim here.
Let's get that very clear. What happened to Hannah in the show
is not her fault whatsoever.
But it's hard to feel too much sympathy for her when she openly refuses to get help or help herself,
Even when that door is wide open.
Hannah's character is outspoken. She's direct.
She says what she's thinking, but throughout the show she seems to flip back and forth between two completely different personalities.
I told you to go away,
But I actually want you to stay. How could you not know that? I said I wanted to be left alone,
But actually I wanted you to chase after me, so shame on you. When I said no multiple times,
I actually meant yes. In this life, Hannah's suicide at the end really loses a lot of the impact it could have had.
Instead of being the final breath of a beat-down, depressed, lonely, innocent girl,
It really does just feel like Hannah's last cry for attention. And, combined with the fact that she recorded 13 tapes,
labeled them, put them in a box, took them to the post office, gave instructions on what to do with them to another classmate,
It's hard to see this as anything but.
Now, compare this to someone like Amanda Todd.
This girl was blackmailed,
followed even after changing school multiple times, attacked even with the help from her parents and school faculty.
This is what a real, emotionally vulnerable teen girl looks like and goes through. This is a real teen suicide. It's not polished.
It's not glamorized.
It's real, raw, and heartbreaking.
Movies and TV shows, like 13 Reasons Why, are meant to show us parts of our societies that we don't want to acknowledge. The painful,
embarrassing things that we pretend don't exist.
They try to open our eyes to something we might not be willing to see, to get us to rethink how we live our lives.
And, sometimes, these movies and TV shows succeed, but just not this time.