Tweet of the week goes to Jonathan Rail, 'Archive binging on Cristen Conger's YouTube vids.
Her initial explanation on why female nipples are sacred is hilarious'. And I don't exactly
know what you're referencing but I'll take it. I would also like to acknowledge something
a little bit different about this video which is my Ariana Grande-esque high pone, that's
short for ponytale. I'm not trying to make any political statements I just want to let
the pone speak for itself and it says I'm a little nervous, I'm not sure why I'm here,
wouldn't life be easier with wigs?
It was a big week here on Stuff Mom Never Told you, on Monday I kicked off with 'How
to Eat like a Man?' On Wednesday I finally talked about 'Why Women Pluck Their Eyebrows'.
On Friday it was 'Seven Stimulating Facts about the Clitoris' which some of you were
able to watch when it was accidentally published a couple weeks ago. Now onto Ask Cristen,
first of all thanks to everybody who watched and commented on last week's Ask Cristen video
'How not to compliment a fat girl'. There were a lot of comments about skinny-shaming
slash thin-shaming. I made a whole video about that a while ago and the link is floating
somewhere around my head. If you want a more in-depth look at this whole body-shaming thing,
my podcast co-host Caroline and I did an entire Stuff Mom Never Told You podcast episode on
it. Now onto your comments. Elena Murphy said, 'I think it's awesome you used the word "fat".
I'm sick of people saying "curvy", "plus-sized", "bigger" or just plain "over weight" in an
attempt not to offend. Whenever I hear these words used, to me it seems like an insult
because in their heads they're saying "fat" as an insult. No on else uses other words
to describe someone who wears glasses so why should we use other words to describe someone
who's fat? Both are part of ones appearance but only one is stigmatize.' Elena it's not
the one that is a-stigmatized. You get it like a stigmatism? Mikey Surratt said, 'My
friends always tell me I'm not fat in a way that makes it clear that if I were fat it
would be some terrible thing. I try to explain to them that being fat doesn't make me ugly,
lazy, stupid or anything but fat. Yes I'm overweight, I've got wide hips and big thighs,
I weigh nearly 200 pounds and I am beautiful. I am also passionate and funny and overly
optimistic and in love with math. I am so many things and I refuse to be ashamed of
any of them'. There is so much Mikey in that statement to love and that we can probably
all learn from. Now onto this week's Ask Cristen question which is along the same theme as
last week. This is from Quwe William who says, 'I'm a heavyset black male and on a daily
basis I can count some ahole either saying "what up big man" or "hey big guy". Fast food
workers have even commented that I look like I would be happier with the large size. Am
I not supposed to feel hurt by these comments because I have a penis?' Like Quwe there were
a lot of other guys commenting in last week's video about how the fat stigma is not something
exclusive to women and girls. There were a number of studies that I was looking at in
preparation for this episode, all of them were acknowledging that only in recent years,
in say the mid two thousands, say two-thousand five onward were researchers even starting
to pay attention to and dig into well, how does fat stigma affect men not just in the
sense of statistics but really understanding how it intersects with our gender constructs,
with masculinity. I do think that there is a stark difference in how fat stigma is applied
to men and how it's applied to women. Fat-shaming directed to men can possibly be a little more
subtle such as Quwe talking about being called 'big guy'. Celebrity Johan Hill has talked
about how as he has transitioned his career from being straight comedy into more serious
stuff and lost some weight along the way her got a lot of flack initially from people saying,
'Uh, you lost weight? You're not as funny now man, you're not the fat funny guy that
we used to know and love.' Perhaps because of masculinity constructs as illustrated by
Quwe's question of okay so these comments aren't supposed to hurt me because I have
a penis, that might make it seem more okay for people to make jokes about big guys and
fat guys and beer-bellies and man boobs. It's just another brand of the fat stigma. It all
ultimately roots back to the same problems of moralizing about weight regardless of health.
One thing that I did not emphasize in last week's video that does need emphasizing, that
is empirically validated is fat-shaming, all you people who want to fat-shame and who want
to talk about sugary sodas and who want to talk about how amazing it is that you do yoga
all the time and how other people should just do it too already and get off the couch. Fat-shaming
does not actually inspire people to lose weight. A lot of studies have found that stigmatizing
language like that, that kind of outright criticism of just like pointing at someone
and calling them a hippo as some people said that they were called by their families, that
doesn't cause people to lose weight. That only reinforces that fat identity in their
heads and actually, statistically tends to lead people to stay at the same weight or
even gain weight. Confronting and uprooting fat stigma is often misinterpreted as just
some kind of health free-for-all of everybody do whatever you want because health is just
a construct. No that's what gender is silly-billies. It's more about creating a healthier approach
to health and body-image and confidence and all the ways that we all get along. But now
I've talked enough. Guys what have been your experiences with fat stigma and other people's
thoughts on how we can possibly, is it possible, uproot this kind of stuff. Let me know in
the comments below and as always ask me your questions so I can give you a little bit of
soap-boxing, hopefully some answers and maybe sometimes a little high ponytail.