You know there wasn't really a moment where I suddenly like saw a lighthouse
and had an answer and said that's my parenting style. But I wanted people to
understand how to parent in a way that actually works. And there's all these
like, cultural terms that people use. You know, we started with helicopter
parenting which was, "I'm hovering," and maybe hovering too closely. People
reacted to that and went kind of equal and opposite to like free-range
parenting -- we shouldn't be hovering at all. People reacted to that and said, "No
helicoptering isn't enough! I snowplow parent." All of that -- none of it works. And
none of it is rooted in science. None of it is rooted in what we actually know
makes a difference. We know what makes a difference. It's balanced
parenting. It's parenting that is loving and warm and absolutely watches but
understands that preparation is protection. Not clearing
the path. That understands that kids need to fall down and get back up. But
that we have to prevent them from falling down into
a really dangerous place. So, I wanted to come up with a metaphor that people
could grasp that described a lot. And that was lighthouse parenting.
Parents, you should be like a lighthouse on the shoreline.
In other words, a stable force your child can measure themselves against.
Someone that they, from a distance, can still see. Someone that they know can
point them in the right direction, but that you have to be looking at. A parent
should also look down at the rocks and make sure their kids don't crash against
them because there is danger out there. You should look into the waves and
imagine that one day your kid's going to learn to be able to ride them. Well, you
understand that that takes technique. That takes experience. It is our
job to prepare them how to do so. It's all of these things, this balancing
act, that I think the lighthouse captures perfectly.