What's up, my homies?
I call you my homies because you're my friends
and you're at home.
I hope you're all healthy and safe.
We are doing well.
I enjoy being home.
I have loved filming from my house.
There are times that I miss being at work.
I miss my studio audience.
I miss all of you.
I miss having guests sit next to me so I can scare them.
I also miss the tangy smell of my cue card guy.
Today, I decided I am going to try
to make my house a little more like the studio.
I have Andy--
Andy is wandering around back there.
I'm here now.
Outside of the phone.
Oh, you're listening to me?
Yes.
That's strange.
OK.
That's new.
Andy--
I'm trying to pay attention.
What show is this?
When will this air?
This will air today, if people are watching,
it's airing right now.
OK.
He barely works here.
OK.
I thought there were more ways to make this feel
like my studio, so I have this.
I had them send me this.
And it's a sound effects box.
And it's either going to make me feel
like I'm back in the studio, or make
me sound like a 90s radio DJ.
I have all kinds of things here.
I have-- Let see.
See, this one.
That's a good one.
That's applause.
OK.
Oh, it goes for a long time.
Yes.
All right.
And then I have this.
Oh, boy.
I miss that sound.
There's so many songs on a button.
There's what?
There's this.
Those.
There's a big crash here.
Hold on.
That's not it.
Doesn't matter.
You really got a hold of that thing.
Yes.
And then I have candles here.
They're lit.
You get it?
Candles.
Yes, but they're not lit.
I wanted to use the air horn.
But they're not lit.
They're not lit.
It was a joke.
Oh.
And you want to hear something scary?
We found leftovers from before the quarantine in the back
of our fridge today.
Should we move on with the show?
I think that'd be a great idea.
OK.
I hear the sweet sound of tWitch's voice. tWitch?
There he is.
Hi, y'all.
Hi, tWitch.
How's your Sauvignon Blanc?
Have you started your Sauvignon Blanc yet?
Not today.
But it's been consistent, so I know it's going to be good.
OK.
All right.
Not yet though.
All right.
We can't be in the same room, but I would really
appreciate a dance from you.
Let's do it.
OK.
You going to drop the beat for me?
[MUSIC - KENDRICK LAMAR, "BIG SHOT"] Big shot.
Hold up, wait.
Peanut butter insides.
No.
Outside, white, but he look like Gentiles.
Gentiles.
Emotional, 'motional, 'motional, 'motional.
Why you emotional?
Ah, you emotional.
Yeah.
Big shot.
Hold on.
Peanut butter insides.
Hold on.
Outside, white, but he look like Gentiles.
Gentiles.
Emotional, 'motional, 'motional, 'motional.
Why you emotional?
Ah, you emotional.
Yeah.
Serve that work for Kung-Fu Kenny.
Got juice, got work, got weight, got plenty.
Got them, got her, got more, got Benji.
Yeah.
Top off getting topped-off in the city.
Big top dawg and I dance on 'em like Diddy.
Pop off and I pop back like Fiddy.
Yeah.
I hit the ceiling and forgot about the floor.
Yeah.
Brand so big, got my haters on the ropes.
Yeah.
This be the wave, plus I live--
[APPLAUSE]
tWitch, I could watch you do that all day.
And the good news is my calendar is open.
I can watch you do that all day.
I really can.
The next time you dance though, do me a favor.
I want you to find something random in your house,
like a vase, or a lamp, or a kid.
And dance with something to surprise me.
OK?
Got you.
Isn't it a vase?
I don't know that it's a vase.
I think it's a vase.
Well, it's a vase if you're fancy.
It's a vase if you grew up like I did
OK.
Yes, and I'm from Alabama, so it's definitely a vase.
Yes.
It's like a foyer or a foyer.
Yes.
You know?
Yes.
Potato, potato.
Got it.
tWitch, I'm happy you're here.
Andy, how's it going out there?
It is raining today, Ellen.
At the moment, there is rain.
But you do have an overhang, and so I'm benefiting from that.
That's great.
Yes.
I'm glad we have an overhang.
At least I can't scare you.
You've got to like that.
That's true.
I've thought about that a number of times,
and yet I keep looking because you had sent me
those photos two weeks ago of a mountain lion on your property.
So I'm constantly looking to see if there's a mountain lion.
Listen, if you get hungry, speaking of mountain lions.
You know what you should go get before an animal is attracted?
There's some nuts over on the rock,
and they're for squirrels.
But I'd like you to eat them before it
attracts another kind of--
What?
Getting kind of late.
There's some nuts.
You like nuts, right?
Yes, but these-- well, now they're wet nuts.
There's nothing worse than wet nuts.
[LAUGHTER]
Grab a handful of those nuts.
I just got the whole nuts thing.
Hold on to the wet nuts.
You can wash them down with the hose over there if you want.
They're probably wet enough that you don't need to.
Are you really saying wet nuts and a hose?
You said wet nuts.
I'm just--
[LAUGHTER]