Mark: Hi.
This is...
(quietly) what?
What'd you do?
Tyler: (through laughter) I didn't do anything!
Mark: Hi. My name is Markiplier.
(All laugh)
Mark: Ethan. This is Ethan.
Ethan: (chuckles) Hey.
Mark: CrankGame- Ethan: First time.
Mark: CrankGameplays. Ethan: Nice to meet you.
(All laugh)
Mark: This is Tyler.
Uh... And we're gonna do something really nice today.
God, these are gro-- these nails of mine are gross.
(All laugh)
Mark: So we're gonna be doing something nice.
Something really like... fun.
It's more of a craft thing.
It's...
(high-pitched) N A I L S.
(Ethan laughs)
Mark: Nails. So, the history of nails are...
Tyler: They're on you before you're born.
And they... grow forever...
Calcium makes them stronger.
And they're like bones... kind of.
Ethan: (through laughter) Out of your tips.
Mark: And the history... (giggles)
Ethan: You're asking me? Mark: .. of nail art. Yes.
Ethan: Oh, of nail art. Mark: Yeah.
Ethan: Pablo Picasso.
You know him. You love him.
What was his first canvas?
His thumbnail right here.
I mean it was his thumbnail, not mine, but you get it.
He looked at himself and he said:
"You know, I want to start making art,"
"but I don't want to go big first."
"I'll start smaller, and work my way up."
And so, he went to work, little by little,
making his perfect little masterpiece on his nail.
Until one day he said:
"Hey..."
"This might be nice to have... all the time."
Don't laugh at history.
It's not funny. It's very serious.
He's dead now.
Don't be disrespectful.
Anyway, he said:
"Hey! That might be nice to do all the time."
So he went out, and people saw his nails and went:
(inhales)
"Pablo! How could you do this without telling us?"
(Mark chuckles)
Ethan: And Pablo said:
'Cause he's... Spanish?
Right?
And they said:
"Pablo, Pablo, Pablo."
"You've really out-done yourself this time."
And he said:
And then from then on, it was history.
Everyone's doing their nails, just like Pablo, and just like the Pablo before him.
And... you know.
That's really where it came from.
Mark: And there you have it everybody.
Okay, so we got...
(Ethan and Tyler laughs) Mark: nail stuff here. In front of us.
I've never done my nails.
But my mom does nail art,
and she has decorated my nails in a great way before.
(inhales)
I don't remember how that happened, but um...
I take nothing from that...
But we have stuff here.
It's been carefully picked out.
Everything we need to make fantastic nail art is right here.
These are the rules:
You only have to decorate one hand.
But it has to have a theme,
or at least you need to explain the theme.
What it is, what you're trying to accomplish.
It's OK if you don't have, like, a lot of artistic ability,
so we're not looking for, like, drawings on the nail.
But it has to have a theme across the entire hand.
Mark: Make sense? Ethan: Mm-hm.
Mark: And that's it. You can use whatever you want...
We have ten minutes.
And then after the ten minutes, we will judge.
Mark:Makes sense? Ethan: Makes sense.
Mark: Can I get ten minutes on the clock?
Amy: Three, two, one, go!
Mark: Oh! Ethan: Oookay!
Mark: First... (rubs nail file)
Ethan: Ooooh. Good idea.
Mark: I've seen this before. I've seen this... Ethan: Good idea.
Mark: I imagine to get a rough surface...
Ethan: OH! I don't like that.
(All laugh)
(Elephant-like roar)
Ethan: I don't like the feeling of this.
(Boom)
Mark: OK, I've really ground them down into a fine powder.
It's really powdery right now. I think that's a good first step.
I want the pigment of my nail to mix with the polish, and really...
really shine through. (Ethan dying)
Ethan: (through laughter) Is this supposed to hurt?
Mark: I know. I know this.
This... ah... THIS is supposed to hurt!
'Cause you gotta push...
You gotta, like... push your cuticles back or something like that.
Ethan: [distorted] OOOHH
Mark: I think that I remember my mom doing this, and I was like:
"This is horrible!" And she's like:
"Oh, shut up, you big baby."
(from "Momiplier Does My Nails") Momiplier: What are you doing now?
Mark: Ow.
Meme insert: SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH.
Mark: My mom's gonna be so ashamed of me.
Ah... My mom is always ashamed of me.
Mark: The hell is this?
What is this?
What is this??
What?
What is this?
Mark: Well, it says that but...
What?
(smack)
Mark: Wait...
(Ethan laughs)
Mark: BUT WHAT IS IT?
Mark: I've thrown the box away, I can't, uh...
What is this?
What is this? Is it, like, a dog tag?
Ethan: How many times?
Mark: Shut up!
Ethan: I'm going to go with this holographic look.
Shake it up first.
Oh, yes...
My nails are going to look good.
Mark: I'm gonna do the marbling...
Mark: [mockingly] You need to do multiple colors!
There's multiple colors in this one!
I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!
Oh, yeah, that's good.
(Ethan and Mark giggles)
Mark: What have I done?
I think to marble, you need like, more than one color.
Ethan: What have you done?
Mark: Shush.
Magic. Beauty. Grace.
Everything above.
Mark: Why is there like a film on the top of--
WHAT IS THIS?!
UH!
UAH!
UUUUAAAH.
Mark: I've got a good start.
I've just gonna clean the snot-like substance off of my other fingers.
So, you know, this is the start.
How much time do we have?
Amy: Three minutes.
Mark: Alright, excellent!
Ethan: Wait, we have three minutes?
Mark: Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, we're gonna get to it!
Three minutes guys, GO!
Hyperspeed! You don't have time!
We don't have time to go around anywhere.
Ethan: OH. MY. GOD!
YOU HIT MY ELBOW!
Mark: IT'S NOT MY FAULT!
(spits)
Ethan: (whines) Oh my god, it was so good, now it's ruined.
Mark: I don't believe it was good before, anyway.
What... the... heck?
WHAT THE-? Oh! Okay.
(whispers) I get it.
Ethan: Look at mine.
Mark: Yeah, I don't wanna look at your ugly hand.
Ethan: I'M not talking to you!
(Mark breaths heavily) (Heartbeats and high-pitched ringing)
(Tyler wheezes)
Ethan: You okay?
Mark: Yeah, I'm fine.
Ethan: My nails look like a toddler did them.
How do yours look?
(Ethan wheezes like an asthma attack)
Ethan: Oh my god.
Mark: Alright, I'm good. What's the time at?
Amy: Two seconds.
Tyler: Wait, what?
Mark: Alright!
Tyler: How is that enough time to do art?
Amy: I know! That's what I'm saying!
Mark: No what? We're done!
Mark: I did I [unintelligible]
Tyler: I mean I did a multi-layered one...
Ethan: I think as far as the theme goes...
Ethan's got a theme down.
Tyler: You just colored them all in the exact same nail polish.
Yeah, that's a theme, uh.
UH!
Mark: I...
Went way above and beyond. I call it a well-marbled Christmas.
Marble is real hard to do, cuz...
It gets real sticky on the top.
It kind of wrapped around my finger.
In terms of like overall quality is pretty good, right?
Ethan: I think it's pretty good.
Mark: Alright fair enough.
Ethan: I don't think so either.
Mark: Alright. So explain yours.
Tyler: Well, I didn't finish mine but it was gonna be glim and glam
cuz everything's gonna be glittery and fancy..
glim and glam.
Mark: Alright, okay. So that was the trial run.
Everyone feel good about that?
Ethan: I feel fairly good.
Mark: So, that was just practice, cuz none of us know how to do this.
None of us.
All of us failed across the board. Not a single one of us succeeded.
This is why... we were given two hands.
I feel like someone they're gonna be mad for me saying that.
So, we have another shot at this, okay?
Tyler, stop!
Put your ink down!
Tyler listen to ME!
TYLER YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME!
Put it down!
YOU TOO! (spits)
We're gonna go at this again.
This time we'll get twenty minutes.
Does that sound fair?
Ethan: Wow...
Twenty minutes.
Mark: No you have to start over.
Mark: Right hand.
Tyler: I-- No!
Mark: You're at the advantage! Tyler: No!
Mark: You're the only one that's ambidextrous!
Tyler: No it isn't! It is distinctly different!
Mark: All in favor of it being the same thing, say aye.
Mark, Ethan and Amy: Aye.
Tyler: IT'S NOT!
Mark: All opposed?
Tyler: ME! The only person who has the right to vote in this!
Mark: Alright.
Well, the only person with the right to vote didn't vote correctly.
They said "me" instead of "nay".
The motion has passed.
That was democracy in action, just because you--
Tyler: Democracy is a failure as a government.
Mark: Oh, well, that's another topic for another day. (All laugh)
Alright, so we're gonna try again, okay? Ready?
Ethan: Yes.
Mark: Three, two, one,
have at it.
Ethan: Oooo....
I didn't think of a theme.
Are you confident?
Mark: Yeah, I feel good about this.
I've got an idea, and I think it's gonna come across like pretty cool.
But I mean like, well I need like hope or something if it's actually gonna work.
Ethan: Oh are you doing it?
Are you doing the stamp?
Mark: Wait is didn't...
What?
I didn't know that!
Oh no!
OH NOOO!
Okay it's fine.
Yeah kinda but it'll be okay.
It'll be even better now.
It's okay, it's okay, it's alright...
(hands whoosh)
Mark: YOU just look bad.
Tyler: See, the tricky part is to do more stuff, you gotta wait for it to dry.
Mark: Not me I say. Full steam ahead!
Mark: Ah it's not the worst thing in the world? Ethan: A little bit of red...
Huf! UH!
Amy: You're half way through.
Ethan: I'm all done.
Can I keep mine a secret?
Don't look at them. Don't you dare.
What is everyone else doing?
Mark: I'm almost done.
Ethan: Are you feeling confident?
Mark: Better than I was last time.
Ethan: I have such a new... newfound respect for people who do their nails.
I didn't realize that it was this hard.
(Wilhelm scream)
Mark: Well... good there goes that.
Alright well, that lives in there now.
Ethan: That I have a newfound respect for people that do their own nails,
cuz I didn't realize that it was this hard to make it look good.
Like to do the styling stuff, I knew that was hard, but just like...
to get a basic coat of nice-looking nail polish is hard.
(Mark blows hands)
Mark: Blow!
(Ethan blows quietly)
Blow!
(Tyler fakes spitting sounds)
Alright... (wheezes)
(Ethan fakes coughing up and spitting phlegm)
Thank you, thank you.
I'm good. I'm done.
That'll do-- What?
Picasso made nail polish...
ART
Ethan: Tyler, you did break the rules.
Tyler: Why do we remove it if we couldn't use the same hand?
Ethan: What?
No, the rule was you had to use a clean slate.
Tyler: Technically was a clean slate, I cleaned it off.
Mark: The rule was you had to use the other hand.
I was cleaning off so I didn't get nail polish on everything I touched.
No, the rule was the other...
Mark: I declared the rule!
Oh, you don't know the rule because you selectively choose not to listen.
You were like, I'm gonna do that hand.
I don't care what anybody says.
I don't care. I'm gonna do it.
DISQUALIFIED!
Disqualified, right?
All in favor of disqualification, say 'aye'!
Ethan and Mark: Aye. Tyler: Nay.
That was a third aye I heard, during the aye count.
All opposed say 'nay'!
Tyler: Nay.
Mark: You already voted. Tyler: No.
(smack)
Mark: Disqualified!
Ethan: Did you clean off the nails?
Tyler: I did.
Ethan: How much time do we have?
Mark: Done?
Tyler: Yes.
Mark: Alright cool.
All the undisqualafied... applicants, put your hands forward.
Uh no, no, sorry that's no, sorry.
That's that's not that's not that
Tyler: oh, that's your hand
Mark: That doesn't get in there.
So, we've got an assortment of... hands here.
Who's gonna present their theme first?
Ethan: I'll present my theme first.
My theme is theme.
Basic, luxurious, well done, and done in a timely manner.
You can't get much more theme-y than theme itself.
Bam, bam, bam, bam. Thank you, ma'am.
Next perso..
Mark: There's- there's Markiplier,
and if you look at it upside-- turn your hand upside down,
it's Wade.
So mine was going to be unicorns hiding in the jungle,
that's why I did the green on the leaves, cuz I was like,
I'll put a unicorn sticker, and I'll try to get it through the gaps in the leaves.
The green didn't pick up.
This green wasn't stampable.
But, I think I saved it with the other, like,
now it's like more of a... modern-art style crosshatch, kinda,
like camouflaging the unicorns back there, you know what I mean?
Ethan: Ooh.
Mark: Yes, and? What?
Oh?
Ethan: Just Oooh~
Mark: See it's pretty good theme, I gotta say.
I really nailed the symmetry on this one especially, so...
I could have done a better job cleaning up around the edges.
But uh... not too bad for the first time using the stamp technique.
And that's everybody! So uh, yeah, well...
What do you think, Ethan? what do you think?
Tyler: Anyway, my theme was fine and shine.
Everything's unique, everything special, but also has this distinct wonderful shine.
I also tried to make a Game of Thrones alike, but I ran out of colors for the houses,
so I changed it up, 'cause this was gonna be jerseys house
Mark: If wishes and wants were blints and blots, everyone would have...
Uuuh...
Tyler: We didn't have nursery rhymes when I was a kid!
Mark: You can't- Tyler: We were too poor!
Mark: You can't influence your theme with a want!
That's... that idea is disqualified.
Mark: Alright? Okay. Alright fine. Fine.
I'll allow it, just this once though.
(under his breath) Everytime you change the rules.
Every single time you change the rules
when we clearly set out the rules,
and people just let you get away with it.
No one's outraged besides me. Why's no one--
Ethan: I'LL BE OUTRAGED!
You changed the rules bitch!
You can't change the rules.
No changing rules in front of my mules.
That's what I say, and that's the way it should be.
Don't you EVER! (sniffs)
Mark: ŦĦĀŦ'Ƨ ₦ŌŦ ฬĦĀŦ ŦĦĒ ṜŪĿĒ ĪƧ!
Hey! He.
Ew.
(All laugh)
HE
EW
Wait...
EW
*Stranger Things theme song plays*
Alright, okay, alright. So, what shall we judge?
How about... okay, these are the three criteria:
who had the best theme,
who had the best technical execution,
and whose matches their own personality the best. Alright.
Ethan: Is something that we're judging, or is an unbiased judge judging?
Mark: Amy, do you want to be an unbiased judge?
Amy: Theme goes to Ethan.
Mark: Oh, that's not fair!
Amy: Technical I think goes to Mark, because of the stamping.
Closest to the personality I think is Tyler.
Mark: Because he's a cheater, right?
Because he cheated.
Because he changed the rules. It's the wrong hand.
Ethan: I would like-
Mark: A dirty rotten cheater.
Ethan: I would like to remind you that we don't all have to be winners.
Mark: No, that one fits the dirty rotten cheater theme.
I'm okay with giving him that one.
All's fair that ends fair.
Mark: Okay.
Well, I think the lesson that we learned is we're not come out to be nail YouTubers.
Tyler: Not at all.
Tyler: I will say his are pretty.
Well done letters.
How did you do the letters?
Ethan: This? Tyler: Oh pen.
Mark: Yes, you don't give them too much credit.
Tyler: Okay.
Ethan: How's your calligraphy?
Mark: How's yours? What are you talking about?
Ethan: GREAT!
Anyway, thank you everybody so much for watching.
This has been another Markiplier Makes.
They're slowly getting out of my control.
I won't be able to contain the beasts for much longer.
Run while you still have life in your lungs.
Thank you Ethan, you can find Ethan at CrankGameplays.
Thank you Tyler, you can find him in Apocalypto_12.
And thank you, me,
for being who I am, and having the patience and grace
to deal with these two idiots beside me.
Tyler: I'm on Twitch!
Mark: (TRIGGERED)
And thank you for watching at home.
If you want to see more Markiplier Makes, links in the description.
Thanks again for watching,
and as always, see you in the next video.
Buh-bye!
Tyler: Bye!
(Ethan laughs)
Mark: Bye! Ethan: Bye!