Okay.
OKAY.
Listen.
I didn’t know how much I needed a handheld blow torch.
Look at that thing!
What do you do with it?!
And WHY doesn’t everyone have a personal sauna like this?!
I’m sweating just looking at it!
I don’t UNDERSTAND what this security-flare-whatever device does, but WOW if I don’t think I
need it now.
Are y’all ready to see this crazy stuff?!
Let’s GOOOOO!
Rocketfire- Because sometimes, you just need to set things
on fire.
What a crazy tool!
It's like they took a welding torch and turned it into a backyard BBQ accessory.
Forget about those wimpy little lighters.
It's like a mini flamethrower in your hand!
With three 2000°F flames, you could probably roast a whole pig in seconds.
You could probably start a forest fire with this thing and still have enough fuel left
to light up a few more fires.
This doesn’t have chemicals that could affect the taste of your food.
I kind of like the sweet, sweet taste of propane.
Now, remember, kids - don’t play with matches.
Real pyromaniacs use the Rocketfire.
VSSL Insulated Flask- This is a flask.
OH is this a flask.
Well.
It's like a flask, and a Bluetooth speaker had a baby, which is a weird combo.
I mean, who needs a speaker on their flask?
Are you going to start a party in the middle of a hike?
Is the sound of nature not enough for you?
Do you need to disturb the peace with your bad music taste?
who thought this was a good idea?
"You know what would make camping better?
If we combined a flask and a Bluetooth speaker!"
But imagine it: you're out in the middle of nowhere, just you and your flask.
Suddenly, you're not in the middle of nowhere anymore - you're at a party, and you're the
life of it.
The Real Wheel Monowheel- This is a fancy cart for fancy people.
It's like someone combined a unicycle with a picnic table and a fridge.
Real Wheel Monowheel.
Say that ten times fast.Who needs a backpack when you can strap all your gear to a giant
wheel?
it can carry up to 200 lbs of weight.
That's impressive.
That's like two grown adults, a small car, or a lot of snacks.There are a ton of uses.
I mean, if you're a really short person and need a boost, this thing could work.
Or if you're like a street performer and need a stage, you could use it too.
And it can roll over anything?
Like, can it roll over my ex's feelings?
Because those things are pretty brutal.
NightBuddy Headlamp- The NightBuddy?
It sounds more like a sidekick for a superhero than a piece of outdoor gear.
If you're wearing this thing while jogging at night, don't be surprised if you get mistaken
for a UFO.
And as for camping, let's just say if you're trying to hide from a bear, this headlamp
is not your friend.This thing is so bright it could blind a bat.
But seriously, who needs a headlamp with a zero-bounce design?
Are you jogging through the woods or trying to navigate a bouncy castle in the dark?
And if you thought that was impressive, the NightBuddy Headlamp also has a red light mode.
Red light?
Is this headlamp trying to seduce me?
SweatTent- This thing sounds pretty sweet, right?
Or should I say, “sweat”?
Get it?
This is a personal sauna you can take with you anywhere, even to your mother-in-law's
house.
It's like a little hot box on wheels.
I can already imagine all the weird and wacky places I could set this thing up.
How about in the middle of a crowded shopping mall?
Or at a fancy dinner party?
Or even on the side of the road during rush hour traffic?
I’d use this to detoxify my body so that I could go out and re-toxify it with all the
booze and junk food I could find.
Just don't forget the fire logs, and maybe bring some deodorant.
Lockhart Tactical Statas- This has got to be the perfect tool for trying
to scare the bejesus out of anyone who dares cross your path.Who needs a polite "excuse
me" when you can shoot off a flare?
This thing sounds pretty cool, doesn't it?
Who wouldn't want to scare away bears with a 12-gauge flare or a bear banger?
You can rig it up as a trip alarm to alert you of intruders or trespassers.
Nothing says "get off my lawn" like a 12-gauge flare in the face.
And if that doesn't work, you can always distract them with a diversionary flare while you make
your getaway.
And if you need to scare away bears, just remember: bears are more scared of you than
you are of them.
Probably.
Nordic Pocket Saw- Now THIS is not your grandpappy’s pocket
knife!
I'm about to spill the tea on this pocket saw.
Not literally.
That would probably be a bad idea.
It's the ultimate survival tool for when you're lost in the wilderness, stranded on a deserted
island, or just need to saw some stuff up real quick.
Imagine a horror movie bad guy with one of these.
Texas Nordic Pocket Saw Massacre.
You can use the firewood you cut with it to build a big ol' bonfire and sing campfire
songs about your Nordic Pocket Saw and how much you love it.
Maybe you can even use it to cut through a watermelon or something.
Using a pocket saw to chop down trees is like using a steak knife to cut butter.
Both are freakin’ awesome.
Trail Pro Sleeping Pad- I’m about to fall asleep just LOOKING at
this sleeping pad!
this pad is softer than a newborn lamb's butt.
It's like sleeping on a cloud made of marshmallows and angel farts.
It’s also tougher than a truck driver on the road for a month straight.
You won't need a tent.
You'll be too busy dreaming about unicorns and rainbows to notice the bugs nibbling at
your toes.
You'll be so comfortable you'll forget that you're even sleeping outside.
If you're looking for a sleeping pad that's as comfortable as a lazy boy recliner and
as tough as a prison yard brawler, the Trail Pro Sleeping Pad is the way to go.
Prospector 50L- This is an ultralight backpack.
Boring, right?
WRONG!
It's made of recycled materials, so you can save the planet while hauling your dirty socks
around the wilderness.
What’s more exciting than that?
The compression molded back panel is like a hug from your favorite creepy uncle at a
family reunion.This pack has pockets on pockets on pockets.
It's like the Mary Poppins bag of backpacks.
You can store everything from your granola bars to your grandma's knitting needles.
And the trash can accessory?
Genius.
Can I give this to my kid on his first day of kindergarten?
When I have a kid?I miss my ex so bad.
Dual Camjam- It sounds like a device you'd find in Christian
Grey's Red Room.
This little tool is the perfect accessory for anyone who needs to tie down some heavy
crap.
Whether you're hauling a bunch of lumber or just trying to strap down your ex-girlfriend's
mattress after she kicked you out of her apartment, the Dual Camjam has got you covered.You can
use it to secure your luggage, pets, significant other, and maybe even your hopes and dreams.
Or to tie up your ex-girlfriend's car so she can’t leave with my PS5 AGAIN!
Anyway, if you can’t get the Dual Camjam, get therapy.
Either way, your tie-down game will never be the same.
LowDown Remote Stove Adapter- And what's with the name, anyway?
The LowDown Remote Stove Adapter?
Like, is the remote stove adapter about to give me a lowdown?
That sounds like a rejected title for a '90s hip-hop album.
Or maybe a new position in the Kama Sutra.
I don't know, but it's the best name for a stove thingy I’ve ever seen.
Can we call it the Stove Thingy, the Flaming Dongle, or something less suggestive?
Please?
This lets you use larger pots and pans for "group cooking or gourmet meals."
Nothing says "gourmet" like cooking on a tiny camping stove.
Maybe if I had learned to cook over this, my ex-girlfriend wouldn’t have left me.
This thing looks like it would be FIRE for roasting marshmallows, though.
The realm of the future is a vast expanse of uncharted potential!
Embark on a bold journey!
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