(Levi and son) Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!
Oh, rock beats scissors every time, bud.
You gotta remember that.
Look at us, the whole Levi family here at the lake house.
Is this fun or what, huh?
I don't know, dad. This place is kind of creepy.
Baby, what's creepy about a house that's all windows
with no locks and miles away from the nearest police station?
(gasps) We lost power!
Definitely, yeah.
There's a family in our driveway.
What? There is no family in the--
♪♪
Okay, so there is in fact a family in the driveway
holding hands and wearing red jump suits.
But what is so scary about that?
It's fine.
It is probably just a family live janitors
of varying heights out for a late night stroll.
What the hell are you going to do with that?
Well, hey there!
We're thinking about having a little Whiffle ball tournament.
Any takers?
We are the reigning champions, so no pressure.
But it is your lucky night.
Tonight, I'm making Zach's famous jambalaya.
Show of hands, who wants some of Zach's famous jambalaya?
Just so we're clear, keep your hands down
if you're not trying to murder us.
Oh, boy.
Call the police, they're coming!
Also, call the gardeners. They are trampling the begonias!
Why the hell are there no locks?!
It's a tight-knit community-- ow!
Really?
The plastic! It stings!
♪♪
(glass shattering, family gasping)
It's-- It's--
John Krasinski?
It's not John Krasinski, Zach, it's you.
But with a fuller beard and more muscles, and...
Wow! Generally sexier vibe.
Hi! Hello.
Are you are saying that Bizarro me is hotter than me-me?
Once--
I'm sorry, I don't mean to interrupt, but you sound a little parched--
Shh!
Let the much hotter man speak.
Once--
I don't know if it's the fire, but I can get you some water.
Once--
"Once upon a time."
Shh!
Zach, please.
Once there was a boy....
and the boy had a shadow.
While the boy got to star in big movies
like "Shazam!"
and "Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel,"
the shadow had to drive for Postmates.
They say they'll tip you
on the app.
They never tip you on the app.
They don't. I don't.
I've tipped a solid 18% every time,
and I remind him--
Just because you're here, she's saying that--
I'm pretty sure--
The Amex is very clear.
Problem, you get the food, you're excited to have it.
You gotta go back in the app.
Time goes by and then you don't get what you need.
Okay. Fine. Jeez!
Who are you people anyway?
We're...
Americans.
Whoa.
Was that cool sounding or trying too hard?
You sounded great.
I think that sounded very cool.
No, no, no!
I wouldn't say I hated it, per se--
Okay, okay. Fam, now's probably a good time to run.
Oh, no, no, no not the hair, not the hair.
I finally got it to a length I feel good about, you know?
Scissors? Scissors?
Rock beats scissors.
♪♪
We can't leave Dad in there.
Dad is dead, guys. Okay?
He's gone, not coming back.
Not today, not ever.
Honey?
(whispering) That's not Dad.
What are you talking-- Excuse me.
Children, this is absolutely your father.
Who wants ice cream?