GENTLEMEN, ALL THE WAY FROM CHESHIRE ENGLAND, GIVE IT UP FOR
YOUR HOST, THE ONE, THE ONLY JAMES CORDEN!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( BAND PLAYING )
>> HARRY: GOOD EVENING LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO THE
"LATE LATE SHOW."
WE'VE GOT A GOOD ONE FOR YOU TONIGHT.
THANK YOU!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) PLEASE, PLEASE.
TAKE A SEAT, PLEASE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) A LITTLE MORE, A LITTLE MORE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THANK YOU.
TAKE A SEAT.
THANK YOU.
LOUDEST OF THE SEASON.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) WE'VE GOT A GOOD ONE FOR YOU
TONIGHT.
WELCOME TO THE "THE LATE LATE SHOW."
LET'S DO WHAT WE DO EVERY NIGHT AND TALK ABOUT THE NEWS.
OF COURSE, THE BIG STORY TODAY IS THAT DONALD TRUMP SHARED
SECRET INFORMATION WITH THE RUSSIANS LAST WEEK.
THE GOOD NEWS FOR TRUMP, THE RUSSIAN GOVERNMENT JUST NAMED
HIM "EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH."
( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
STOP, STOP, STOP.
( LAUGHTER ) ALL RIGHT.
HERE'S ANOTHER STORY WE'VE ALL BEEN TALKING ABOUT AROUND THE
OFFICE.
HILLARY CLINTON IS FORMING A GROUP CALLED ONWARD TOGETHER, A
POLITICAL ORGANIZATION THAT IS ANTI-TRUMP.
( AUDIENCE REACTS ) ( LAUGHTER )
EXPERTS ARE CALLING IT BOLD, AMBITIOUS AND SIX MONTHS TOO
LATE.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
AND WE WERE LAUGHING ABOUT THIS ONE IN THE BREAK ROOM TODAY.
LAST WEEK, A MAN IN WASHINGTON STATE TRIED TO GET OUT OF DRUG
CHARGES BY BRIBING THE POLICEMAN WITH TACO BELL.
YOU SEE THIS?
DID ANYONE SEE THIS?
NO.
NACHO SMART.
( LAUGHTER ) POLICE GOT SUSPICIOUS OF
NARCOTICS WHEN THEY SAW THE MAN DOING 75 MILES PER HOUR ON FOOT.
( LAUGHTER ) FINALLY TONIGHT, THIS IS A BIG
STORY IN THE ENTERTAINMENT WORLD.
HACKERS HAVE STOLEN A COPY OF THE NEW "PIRATES OF THE
CARIBBEAN" MOVIE AND ARE HOLDING IT FOR RANSOM.
( LAUGHTER ) YEAH.
THEY COULD RELEASE THIS MOVIE ILLEGALLY.
I GUESS YOU COULD SAY IT'S A "PIRATED" VIDEO.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) YEAH, YEAH.
THEY'RE HOLDING "PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN" FOR RANSOM.
SOUNDS TO ME LIKE THEY'RE CHARGING THEM AN ARM AND A PEG.
( APPLAUSE ) IF DISNEY PAYS THE RANSOM, THEY
COULD GO INTO JOHNNY "DEBT."
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
IF PEOPLE SEE THIS EARLY, IT WILL BE A MOVIE ABOUT A PIRATE
SHIP -- WHY ARE YOU SHAKING YOUR HEAD?
( LAUGHTER ) IT WOULD BE A MOVIE ABOUT A
PIRATE SHIP WITH NO "SALES."
( LAUGHTER ) BUT KIDS CAN'T SEE THE MOVIE
ANYWAY, BECAUSE IT'S RATED ARRRRRRRR.
( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
REGGIE, ARE YOU READY?
>> Reggie: YEAH!