- (indistinct)
- Hey hey, hey, what's up girl?
Did you hear about that killer on the news,
who going around killing all the females
that ain't giving him his number?
That's crazy. You ain't hear about that?
- No
- Dang. Damn, that's crazy.
(gives phone)
(crowd cheering)
(buzzer)
(crowd cheering)
- Reese hurt.
Alright, look now.
- Alright. - I took a picture of that.
- Oh my goodness.
That thing is so big.
That's the biggest one I've ever seen in my life.
- Hey man, I can't help what God do for the bride.
You know.
- I didn't know you was blessed like that.
- Yes, sir.
- You think that thing's going fit?
- Oh, it's gonna have to, she gonna have to
take all of it. Got to.
- You gonna give it to her tonight?
- Yeah. Now I'm gonna give it to her right now.
I'm about put it on her right now.
- In front of everyone?
- In front of everyone. I'm like that.
Let me got down, going for it.
(crowd cheering)
(bell dings)
Yes, sir!
- My mans, Nick Cannon is so fly.
- [Everybody] How fly is he?
- They made a cologne from the scent of his fart.
(crowd chuckles)
(buzzer)
(crowd cheering)
Do you know how fly you gotta be, to be like,
spray his fart on you?
- Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah ,nah.
(crowd cheering)
- My boy Dave East is so fly.
- [Everybody] How fly is he?
- The flight attendant told everybody they have to
put their phone on Dave East mode.
(crowd laughing)
(bell dings)
- If you pay me, I'll keep them.
If they play with me, I'll beat them.
Nine o'clock I'll feed them.
If you late, I'll leave them.
- Babysitter.
- Huh?
- Babysitter.
- Yeah
(bell dings)
(crowd cheering)
- We ain't got that much time. Okay. Okay.
It rhymes with hog brainer.
Hog Brainer.
(buzzer)
Look, Dog Trainer!
- [Everybody] Our family is new here.
Who we introducing?
- This is my cousin, James.
I thought he was knocked out.
But here he is today.
Give it up for manny packing out.
(bell dings)
- [Everybody] At the family reunion.
Who we introducing?
- So Sam, you gonna let me get your number?
- [Everybody] At the family reunion.
(buzzer)
- [Everyone] Who we introducing?
- Your next answer is her ball handling skills
have made her a basketball legend.
(laughing) (buzzer)
- Who hears Kim Kardashian?
(crowd cheering)
(ding)
- Your answer is signs he's into white girls.
(buzzer) (crowd cheering)
(bell dings)
- Hey yo, everybody turn up.
- [Everybody] Turn up for what?
Cause i was playing UNO earlier.
And a (beep) won a wild card.
(crowd cheering)
(hip hop music)
- (indistinct) it's only gay man.
I don't wanna be red no more.
- If that was a draw, I could have respected it
but that's just, you don't even get no cards for that.
Get it out my face.
(crowd laughing)
- Covington, turn up.
- [Everyone] Turn up for what?
- Because man, after 14 seasons of me being on this show
they finally got my little brother, (indistinct).
(crowd cheering)
- [Presenter] They family, they family.
Same mama, same daddy.
(crowd cheering)
- Aye, you know what, forget all that.
DJ D-Wrek, cut the beat.
(crowd cheering)
- I got a special word for you;
antidisestablishmentarianism.
(crowd cheering)
(multiple dings)
(crowd cheering)
- Get off me
Okay? Get off me.
I don't trust y'all, get off me.
- Your word is idiosyncratic.
- Idiosyncratic. I'm trying to fake
like I don't know this word. I trick. I'm like it's magic.
If you test me, it's going to be tragic.
Big crack, like a crack addict.
I back at it.
They don't know me.
My (beep) I'm idiosyncratic.
(crowd cheering)
(bell dings)
- I'll call you back.
Sorry I'm late, your honor.
They was having a funeral for Nick Cannon's
rap career and they wanted me to do the eulogy.
So that's why I'm late.
Hey, what's up Nick?
Missed you at the funeral.
(crowd laughing)
You know, for as long as I've been knowing you, you know
you just wear designer everything.
Shoes, jackets, everything.
Boy, you even got designer blood.
Okay. And that's crazy to me because it lets me know
that you're spending all your money on the wrong things.
My question to you is how come you never use
some of that money to buy some actual talent?
(crowd reacting)
- With looks like these, you don't need talent.
(crowd cheering)
(crowd laughing)
(crowd cheering)
- Uh, Miss China.
Let me get straight to the point.
So lately you've had a reputation of dating rappers
you know, just to help them sell their music.
(crowd laughing)
Would you ever consider dating Nick?
(crowd cheering)
- Yes.
(crowd cheering)
- I'm coming back though.
(crowd laughing)
(crowd cheering)
(buzzer)
- (indistinct)
(crowd clapping)
- Saying I am gonna do me, cause can't nobody do me better
than I do me. You feel me? Yeah you know.
(buzzer)
(crowd laughing)
- No, I'm just playing. I'm just playing.
Go ahead. Go ahead. I'm sorry.
- That was crazy. I can't fake.
(buzzer)
(crowd laughing)
- Hold on, I got it.
It's fixed. It's fixed, it's fixed. It's fixed.
(beep)
I don't know...
(crowd cheering)
- Nicholas Cannon.
(crowd laughing)
I just realized something, since I've been sitting up here,
Your head is so skinny.
(crowd laughing)
It's like, like Anorexic, skinny.
(crowd laughing)
(bell dings)
Thanks Tina.
- You let the (indistinct).
- You spit?
(crowd cheering)
- Ooh, right there, right there, right there.
That's how white crowd sound when they have sex.
(crowd laughing)
(bell dings)
I got a rolly on my wrist, rolly on my wrist.
Hold. Wait a minute.
Y'all thought I was finished.
(indistinct), my career just ended.
It was my girls (indistinct)
- Meek Mill.
(ding)
(crowd laughing)
- The snitches is first grade,
and still ain't got no stitches.
I don't care if he did it.
I'm still gone snitch.
I, call me Mr This Way.
Call me Mr That Way.
I snitched three times.
You can call me Mr Three way, yeah, yeah.
- Tekashi?
(bell dings)
- Platinum, being broke.
- I ain't got it.
- [All] I ain't got it.
Now you wild out.
- Man, I work for Nick cannon
- [Everyone] Man, I work for Nick cannon (x2)
Now, you wild out.
(buzzer)
(bell dings)
- Your topic is playing video games.
- [Everyone] Now you wild out. - I'm playing Call of Duty.
I'm playing Call of Duty.
- [Everyone] Now you wild out.
- NBA two K.
- [Everyone] NBA two K, NBA two K.
Now you wild out.
- I'm playing Matt.
I'm playing Matt.
- [Everyone] Now you all out.
- I'm Pacman.
- [Everyone] I'm Pacman. I'm Pacman.
Now you wild out.
- Get over here.
- [Everyone] Get over here, get over here.
Now you wild out.
- Finish him
- [Everyone] Finish him finish him.
Now you wild out.
(bell dings)
- [All] Pick up and kill it and kill it and kill it.
- All right. Your next word is cereal.
- [All] ...kill it and kill it.
- Pick up and kill it and kill it and kill it.
- Send them in toast.
And I also like checks mix.
I took your girl and she cooking me breakfast.
She came to my house cause she liked to see me.
My show is crazy cause I eat my Wheaties.
- My sausage is bigger and that is no bluff.
Your girl wants to play with my big Coco puff.
The diamonds I'm rocking they all Frosted Flake.
She let me syrup all of her pancakes.
- Pancakes is cool but them diamonds are fake.
I am a tiger, your girl said, I'm grrreat. Bitch.
(crowd laughing)
(bell dings)
- My earring is not fake.
- [All] Pick up and kill it...
Pick up and kill it and kill it and kill it.
- (indistinct) strip club. Let's go.
- Oh, add that strip glove in. I got all my Wants.
You know I'm in there having some fun.
- You having some fun. I want to see a twerk.
I'm about to hit the bathroom and buy me a shirt.
- Hey, grab you a shirt. Won't you grab me a sweater?
When I hit the stage I start changing the weather.
- Changing the weather? Boy. You so cold.
Ooh. I like the way she working on the pole.
- You work for that pole I can't get enough.
Punky ma booty call her jiggly puff
- Punky ma booty? Boy that's a blessing.
I heard they got a wilding out section.
- Wilding out section, they go wild on me.
When she is not looking, I'll take back my money
- (both) I'm gone pick some up too.
Kill it and kill it and kill it.
(everyone cheering)
(crowd clapping)
- I can't believe this day is finally here.
(crowd laughing)
Aw man, aw, I just want to say that
from the day I saw you I knew you was the one for me.
And I was just wondering if you could do the honors.
Hold on. Damn. Oh shoot.
Don't don't say nothing.
Okay. Don't Say nothing.
(crowd laughing)
What's up baby?
(crowd laughing)
- Nah, nah, I ain't busy. I ain't busy
(crowd laughing)
Tonight?
Yeah, we still on tonight. You say about what time?
What time the reception, like eight?
(crowd laughing)
10 is cool. 10 o'clock is cool.
All right now. Okay. Eight.
Tell junior daddy loves him, okay?
(crowd laughing)
Okay.
(crowd clapping)
- Now where were we?
(bell dings)
(everyone singing)
- [Everyone] Here he come.
(crowd laughing)
- Listen.
I know this our wedding day and I'm supposed to spit vows,
but it'll tell you the truth.
If I spit my vows, it'll be longer than that dress.
I just wanna let you know that with every fiber in me.
I love you.
And there's no other woman out there for me.
Will you marry me?
- Yes.
- And cut. That's excellent. That was great scene.
That was amazing.
(bell dings)
She really believed it. She believe it.
(crowd cheering)
- It's my birthday. (hip hop music)
- My name's Emman. Yeah. I don't get tired.
I think D Ray, need to be fired.
(buzzer)
That's why you need to be fired.
- It's my birthday (hip hop music)
My name Emman.
- [All] Yeah.
I hate Dee Ray.
- [All] Yeah.
(Hip hop music)
(crowd laughing)
- This is stupid.
(buzzer)
- All right. Now I'm used to Mr Cannon
having real stars on the show.
So Nick, can you explain?
We wanted Carmelo.
(crowd laughing)
- Come on
- Homie. You blew up off a ratchet
and dressed up like a chick.
He Tyler Perry.
He only funny when he acting like a (beep).
(bell dings)
- Mommy told me to go against you.
I said no, because you're not even worthy.
Too many manly features. Are you sure that you girly?
You have marks trash, your butt's flat.
You just look dirty.
So stop gassing yourself up.
That's illegal in Jersey.
(crowd cheering)
- Well he said I look like a man,
why he is such a tough critic?
Emman tell them the truth season 10
You hit it.
(crowd cheering)
(bell dings)
Or was it season 9?
- This just turned into Love and Hip Hop.
- It could have been 9.
- I gotta give that to old school make some noise.
(crowd cheering)
- Old school yeah
- Old school so cool.
(crowd cheering)