"You can't teach them until you reach them."
These were the words of a dear mentor of mine early on in my career,
and I can honestly tell you I didn't understand
the full magnitude of those words until I became an elementary principal.
Now today, I realized she was trying to tell me,
"Tom, we need to Maslow before we bloom."
And what I mean by that statement is
we need to do more than just build surface level relationships
and expect students to perform academically for us.
We need to place a high priority on addressing the basic physiological needs,
safety needs, psychological needs, and self-fulfillment needs of our students
before we begin our quest to build their cognitive skills.
When I first assumed the role of principal at Evergreen Avenue Elementary School
during the summer of 2016, one of my first tasks
was to meet with my summer planning committee,
which consisted of seven teacher leaders in my building.
One of the questions I proposed to that group was: If you had a magic wand,
and you could grant three wishes for Evergreen Avenue Elementary School,
what would those wishes be?
And time and time again, I heard the same two answers that kept coming up.
There were a lot of other answers, too, but there were two prominent answers.
The first was more parental involvement,
and the second was more support for our families.
Now I didn't want to come into my new position my first year
like a bull in a china shop and change everything, right?
That's not what I was planning to do.
The evidence was clear that I couldn't sit back and keep it status quo either.
I knew I needed to do something
that would elevate the entire school community.
As an assistant principal of the middle school in our district,
I was known in our district to make home visits to families
when I couldn't get in touch with parents or guardians,
but it was usually when the student had done something wrong.
Nevertheless, I never returned the same.
What I found is that after each encounter
and interaction with the family at their home,
I began to look at the child through a different lens.
I left those home visits with a clear picture
of why the student may have been acting out.
I couldn't help but serve now with a more caring and understanding heart.
So here was the idea that I pitched to my staff:
rather than trying to force parents to come to us, I'm gonna go to them.
See most schools have recognition programs like student of the month,
honor roll, principal's list.
We were going to recognize students and our students on a more consistent
and frequent basis because I know a thing or two about recognition, right?
Babies cry for it, men die for it, both kids and adults love it, and as a result,
we were going to create a weekly recognition program
called Standout Leader of the Week.
Then rather than go to our students' homes when something bad happened,
I was going to go to our familes' homes
to celebrate when their children did something great.
Well that first year I told my staff,
"I don't care how the students stand out in your classroom,
that criteria is completely at your discretion.
It could be for great behavior, academic growth, social emotional growth,
kindness or something else.
All I ask is that each of you select one student per week,
and then I'll visit that student at their home
and deliver a certificate of achievement and a pencil that says,
'My principal is proud of me.'"
With 4 special needs classrooms and 14 regular education classrooms
and approximately 300 students in our school,
I knew if I visited one student from each classroom every week
that would definitely place me in every child's home
before the end of the school year.
I can't begin to tell you how excited I was for that first full week of school.
I remember Friday not being able to get here soon enough.
And the parents and the grandparents and the families that I met at each home
when I did these visits, they were absolutely amazing and so welcoming.
They recognized that I was making a sacrifice every Friday from 4 p.m to 7 p.m
to be away from my family, so that I could recognize their child or grandchild.
Smiles on the faces of the children and the pride their family showed
each time I arrived at their homes was priceless.
So now we're five years into this program now.
I can't believe it and I stand here before you today to share
that the level of trust that has been built between parents and our school
from this one decision, this one action, has been astounding.
The program has helped me to identify the needs of specific families
and open the door to conversations that may not have taken place before
because the trust just wasn't there.
Now if a mistake is made on our part as a school,
parents aren't knocking down our door, breathing fire
and looking for a pound of flesh,
they're coming in and we're calmly resolving the issue together.
Why? Because this program has deposited so much good will
between the school and families, that our parents are trusting
that we're making the best decisions for their child.
Parents are becoming true partners in their child's education.
We've seen a major increase in their involvement.
Our back to school nights and even events for moms and dads and families
are now free frequently packed to capacity,
sometimes with standing room only.
I can also share how proud I am that we've seen a significant decrease
in our number of discipline referrals over the last several years.
We actually even did away with detentions
because we just didn't need them anymore.
We also had every single subgroup in our school
meet the standard for student growth on park for the 2017-2018 school year.
I believe that may have been the first time it ever happened in our school.
You may be saying to me, "Tom, my school is so much bigger than yours,
there's no way I could visit every child at their home
before the end of the school year."
I totally understand.
Standout Leader of the Week is the program we chose
for my school community.
My advice to you would be, meet with your staff and answer this one question:
"What one action could we take this year that would enable us to lead with love,
build their belief, and resurrect their resilience?"
I promise you, when you come up with the answer, you've found your vehicle
to lift every life in your school community.