I'm tWitch and I'm so excited to be hosting our first ever
Father's Day show y'all.
Although since I'm a father I don't
know why Ellen has the day off and I have to work,
but either way I'm thrilled to be here.
So this is my day job, y'all.
But my favorite job is being a dad,
and even though the hours aren't great,
and the pay is pretty lousy, no, I'm kidding,
you get paid in love and Cheeto dust and crumbs
that they leave on the furniture, so that's good.
But you know, dads are like, they're
a little different today than they used to be.
Right?
I think we're definitely a little more hands on, right?
And I love that.
Like for instance, in the old days
dads might have stood outside a hospital room with a cigar
while their wife handled the miracle of birth on her own,
right?
But for me, when my wife Allison gave birth I was in the room,
and I was there to support her every step of the way
and I'm really glad that I did, absolutely.
But I'm not going to lie y'all, I saw some things.
I saw some things that will shift.
You know what I'm saying?
Like really deepen that appreciation.
So Father's Day is this weekend, and I
think it gets the short end of the stick
because it lands in the summer break, right?
Like Mother's Day is in May, when kids are still in school,
and then the teachers can make sure
that they create all these cool cards, and art projects,
and don't get me wrong.
The moms deserve it 100%, absolutely.
But by the time we get to Father's Day,
the kids just want to play video games, and eat Popsicle's.
Right?
And then last minute they're like here dad,
here's a Popsicle because you're a cool pop.
You get it?
Popsicle.
So you literally get the short end of the stick.
And y'all, honestly, it sounds like I'm making fun of that
gift but if my kids did that, it would probably make me cry
for real.
I would appreciate that.
Because honestly, yo, being a dad is the best thing ever.
And I love that I get to be there
to help teach my kids all the important things in life,
like how to tie her shoes.
How to ride a bike, and how there's nothing cooler
than superheroes.
Look at what me and my son Maddox
did just a little while ago.
Look at this.
Ya.
Sitting, jumping.
Jumping up the swag, then I hopped into some drip.
That's it.
That was good.
So I want to shout out all the superhero dads
out there, and all the amazing father figures,
and role models who make such a difference
in the life of a child.
Happy Father's Day everyone, and remember, listen.
All dads really want for Father's Day
is a little peace and quiet, and to do
the thing that made them a dad in the first place.
You know what I'm saying?
Now listen, I'm going to go backstage and come back out
with a big surprise for you all.
I'm so excited for this.
I'll be right back.
Just give me a second.
Oh, ah, check it, here we go.
We clocking mad dough yo, we let the rhyme flow.
Come on.
Oh, ah.
Check it, here we go.
We clocking mad dough yo, we let the rhyme flow.
Come on, oh ah, check it, here we go.
We clocking mad dough, yo we let the rhyme flow, come on.
Oh ah, check it here we go.
Check it here we go.
Here we go.
Let the rhyme flow.
Here is the intro.
Yes, it's a B to the double D and a kid yo.
How we can get busy one time for the sake of the rhyme and I'm
going to say it one more time.
It's the kid, so let me get biz for a minute.
I want to let you know that the law is dropping minutes.
In pieces in the house, but it's time is on the limit.
It's the dude who's up to bat.
And his best friend for context.
Flex with the smooth stats, rhymes versus corn chex.
We weeble wobble, wobble weeble and [INAUDIBLE] down,
we flow and grow and take control and know
that we would glow on the mic.
Let the rhymes flow.
Oh, ah, check it, here we go.
We clocking mad dough, yo we let the rhyme flow.
Come on, oh, ah.
Check it, here we go.
We clocking mad dough, yo, we let the rhyme flow.
Come on, oh, ah.
Check it.
Here we go.
We clocking mad dough, yo, we let the rhyme flow, come on,
oh ah.
Check it, here we go.
We clocking mad dough, yo, we let the thyme flow.
Come on.
Oh, ah.
Check it, here we go.
Check, check it here we go.
Here we go.
Ah, let's take a bow, let's take a bow.
Good job, buddy.
You have fun?
You had a good time?
Absolutely.
Listen, you keep up, you keep up good dancing like that,
you too can be a fake DJ, just like me.
Now listen, I'm so proud of you man.
Now you know what time it is?
You know what you're about to get?
You're going to go get some snacks?
Yeah!
All right.
Here you go.
Wait, hold on.
Wait for mommy.
Wait for mommy, go back stage and get some snacks.
Give it up one more time for Maddox, y'all.
And also, my lovely wife Allison, and Zaia.
Thank you.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
Oh man.
That was awesome.
And also, I have to say this too.
Obviously, that was my son Maddox, youngest daughter Zaia,
my wife Allison, but then, behind the scenes,
and she's going to hate that I'm doing this,
but behind the scenes is my oldest daughter Weslie,
right there.
I'm going to have to shout her out.
I'm going have to do it.
I have to do it.
You're here.
I have to do it.