hey I'm Kevin and it's time to get to
work so boot up celery man simulator and
uh wow I'm really sorry you had to see
that in fact let me write you a formal
apology on the Bureau of communications
comm just like this one I wrote for Jake
it has come to my attention that my
action of eating your lunch could be
seen as selfish and hurtful I never
intended to get caught I want you to
understand that I was merely trying to
eat something tasty though I can see now
that it may appear that I was being too
awesome perfect but hey if you need more
help navigating the workday I can show
you some more dogs things you can do
online now guys during your commute use
blue rose to read articles without an
internet connection and then once you
arrive start the workday right with some
awesome tunes from music a website where
you input several of your favorite bands
and then it gives you suggestions on
other artists you may like you can
continue to refine your musical tastes
by rating the band's it suggests so
you'll be humming along to perfectly
tailored music in no time time to make
some tough business decisions though so
fire up fluky input all the tough
choices you need to make and then let
lady LOC take the wheel okay well I
guess I'll go to the thoughts room
inside the quiet place project which
will put you at ease with soothing music
as you vent all your daily frustrations
into a tiny box and then watch them
drift away
now I feel much better in fact I feel
instant boss org now that you're the
boss spice up your next business call
with foam conference bingo once on a
call I'll click on the squares as they
become relevant to chase your all-time
high score and turn boring meetings into
a game game through your lunch break
with smacky a story about an angry
squirrel who's tired of being bothered
by everyone around him beat the acorns
out of all his cute animal neighbors and
tear their presents to shreds in order
to maintain your sanity leave me alone
squirrels whoops
went a little nuts there unfortunately I
am prone to wild mood swings which will
take you to a different website based on
what mood you're in like I right now I
totally feel integrated into a
diversified marketplace but sometimes
the market demands you pull an
all-nighter so you should use hours of
calm to make sure that photocopy store
down the street is still open and to
order some food and coffee to keep sleep
at bay if you're not a coffee person but
still want to get things done check out
coffee tivity calm which recreates the
soundscape of different types of coffee
shops to help you focus ambient sound
has been proven to be conducive to
creative cognition so fire up this
website and work until you see the Sun
Rise but if those late nights are
starting to get to prescribe yourself
some sleep with prescription maker.com
for entertainment purposes only it
allows you to create a prescription for
anything you want at any time these in
no way work at an actual pharmacy but
sometimes you've got to medicate
yourself with a three-day weekend and if
you need any more help feeling better
about your job I'm gonna leave you with
a short film about mining robots on Mars
and as always thanks for watching
like Oh balls