- [Colin] Previously on TRY.
- (yelling) Aah, Ciara! (upbeat music)
(exclaims)
- What are you doing?
This isn't even bourbon.
- So, go on, yeah.
- (imitating turkey sounds) You sound like a turkey.
(yelling)
- No better two people to chat shit, than myself and Ciara.
We will, this is going to be hours.
Strap yourselves in folks, it's a podcast.
- Honestly, we've got it all figured out.
(ambient music)
- I always think when it comes to life's hardest questions,
who do you ask?
The people on The TRY Channel.
- Absolutely.
- You know it's bad
when you're turning to Dermot for advice.
- Never turn to Dermot for advice.
- I don't know if they say this is in other countries
but over here we say,
the drunk man's tongue speaks the sober man's truth.
That's when the real, when you're drunk
it's when the, it's when the real stuff comes out, you know?
- I think it's really important.
- Absolutely. - Really important.
- You don't know someone until you've asked them
at four in the morning,
what they think the meaning of life is (chuckles).
- [Colin] The first question is, what is the meaning of life?
- The meaning of life you say?
- So we're just going for the biggest question
and then down hill from there?
Jeez, huh.
- Have you ever seen cats eating lemons?
So when a cat eats a,
- Wait a fucking second, whoa, hey, hey.
What's the meaning of life?
And the first words out of your mouth are,
"Have you ever seen cats eating lemons?"
- When a cat eats a lemon it goes like this,
and that is my feeling toward that question.
- That's an incredible answer. - Yeah.
- Ah, just have a good time.
Enjoy yourself.
Why worry about anything?
- I love that. - Yeah.
- I actually really like that.
- Your house is gonna be repossessed, aah who cares?
- Who cares?
- Have a whiskey.
I've gotten involved with the mob.
- Why did you do that? - Don't worry.
- Don't worry. - Have an ice cream.
- An ice cream. - Nice, lovely ice cream.
- It's such a loaded question.
- It is, yeah.
- You can look at it in terms of like,
physically what's the meaning of life
which everybody will say it's reproduction.
The meaning of life is to reproduce and keep going.
But actually, we've gone past that as a society.
What's the personal meaning of life?
What's, like, self-fulfillment, self-actualization,
what is that?
I don't know (chuckles).
(John laughs) Everyone else,
everyone else has a different meaning.
- You answering this question now is very different to say,
you answering this question maybe a year ago.
- I love this question.
I do think that every single year you become
a different person, especially in your like 20 to forties.
- Why are you looking at me when you say that?
- Cause you're in your thirties (both laugh).
- So I was on this walk and I had this epiphany,
and I was thinking about, cause you know,
career, life, where am I going?
Paths I need to choose.
I got lost, therefore there was a path this way,
there was a path this way, what one do I choose?
And then I thought to myself, why?
Why am I choosing this path?
Why am I choosing that path?
Know your why.
And I think once you know why,
it's gonna answer your, your path to life.
- I'm thinking, why am I here?
Free booze.
- Answers his question.
- And I do think between your twenties and your forties
is when you change the most.
Let's be real, when you're a kid, it's like,
okay you're in school and you're very,
like you're following a format, whatever.
And then you go to college
and you're like this totally different person.
And once you're like 40,
you're probably like kind of settled
and have your shit together.
- Now what do, what does "settled" mean to you there?
So here's the thing, you're,
- Settled means a lot of things.
Settled means kind of comfortable in career, relationship,
- Ha, ha, let me tell you.
- Not just relationships.
- Let me tell you, it's not gonna happen (laughs).
- It doesn't really make much sense to explain it
but it's so personal to everybody.
So I feel like life doesn't really have meaning,
there's no meaning there.
It doesn't mean anything.
There's no actual truth to it,
it's completely up to what you make of it.
So I think, (laughs)
- This is deep already
and this is question one (bangs table).
- I do, I do, I mean it, life doesn't have a meaning.
- I genuinely, I've only, just recently,
started to even, to even,
started to even contemplate who I actually am.
- Really?
- Yeah, yeah.
(laughs) The look of utter terror in her face!
I've got a good 10 years on this woman and she is terrified.
- [Seán] Next, next--
- Not next question!
We're sticking with this, okay?
Give us a second.
- We haven't answered the question.
- Listen Sean, okay if you're gonna ask us these questions,
expect us to dig fucking deep, okay?
This is what's happening here.
- Since I have become 25
I have learned about myself, who I am.
I fully believe I know who I am and what I like.
I fully believe that.
I don't think in the next 10 years
that I will have different feelings honestly.
Because genuinely, genuinely, I'm so content.
I would feel like, if I didn't feel content I'd be like,
oh yeah, I will change in 10 years,
but the fact that I'm so content right now, I'm like,
I don't see much changing apart from like the big stuff.
- I'll tell you this right now.
- This is a great fucking pairing
because you're older than me,
and I'm looking at you and I'm like,
- I'm older than you but you have everything sorted out,
figured out much more than I do.
I'll tell you right now, - But do I?
You don't know, - 100%.
- No, you don't know that though.
- I do, I fully do.
- But the meaning isn't there,
it's up to you to find your own meaning.
So I think that for me, it's always been an inward thing,
I think that you create the house that you live in
in terms of your thoughts, how you treat yourself,
how you treat others, how you treat your body, everything.
Meaning is really nothing,
it's just what you choose to think and do every day.
So I don't actually think the meaning of life exists,
I think that it's up to us
to actually create our own meaning.
And my meaning is very different to somebody else's meaning.
So,
- What is mind? - It doesn't really exist?
- It doesn't matter.
What is matter?
Never mind (bangs table). - Never mind (chuckles)
- [Sean] What is happiness?
- (laughs hysterically) what is happiness?
(ambient music) - For me happiness is, um,
a small kitten curled up beside an open fire.
- Oh, I'm going to cry.
- Yeah, we're quite positive.
- Yeah, why are we so positive?
People ask me that all the time, they're like,
"Why are you so fucking happy all the time?
"What's the story?"
I'm like, "It's a fucking choice."
Happiness isn't just floating around in the fucking air.
- I don't know if I agree with that.
I think like, I think like,
you and I both grew up in loving families,
there's people out there who are disadvantaged
and they might get a hiding when they go home, you don't know what's going on.
And for them, you know, just to say,
"oh, your happiness is a choice,"
they're not gonna be like, "I choose to be happy."
Because then you're just, you know what I mean?
- I completely agree with you.
- Cause I honestly, from knowing you,
I've probably known you five years at this stage.
- Probably, yeah, something like that, close enough.
- I think you're different.
- Do ya? - Yeah.
- Bringing, bringing the second question in,
would you be, would you look at me and say I'm happier now?
- Yes, a hundred percent. - Do you think?
- And do you think you're happier now?
- Oh, easily, yeah. - Yeah.
- Well, I mean,
- I see a happiness, like a ray of happiness in you
that I did not see five years ago.
- Hmm. - And that's,
- There's still a deep well of sadness.
- Do you know the little things,
do you know the little things that make you like,
someone makes you a cup of tea
or you get home a little bit early from work.
If you find the element of happiness in each day,
then you've, you've cracked the Da Vinci code of happiness.
- I think the presence of pain,
that actually creates true happiness
because you understand
that you have to make an actual choice
and that pain is inevitable.
- Absolutely.
- It's personal. - Yin and yang.
Absolutely, how you can't have one without the other, yeah.
- Yeah, like pain is so, it's so,
irrespective of your actual circumstances,
what is painful for someone might be fine for someone else.
But, I think happiness comes from knowing
that pain is inevitable and that pain is okay.
And that actually through that is an understanding
that when you find happiness in the small things
you'll find way more happiness in the big things.
- How many y'all are that articulate
after 12 shots of whiskey?
- I don't know. - That's what I want to know.
- Happiness to me is being happy in yourself.
I think before anything else
you have to be happy in yourself.
- Happiness is whatever the fuck you want it to be.
What is absolutely normal for the spider
is chaos for the fly.
It doesn't exist. - That's a lovely expression.
- It doesn't exist, whatever makes you happy.
People look at happiness like a goalpost
and they're like, when I get the promotion,
when I move into that house, when I find this person,
when I do this, it's so insular.
It's all about your relationship with yourself.
Every question that you can probably ask me
in this video will always come back
to your relationship with yourself.
What are you saying to yourself on a daily basis?
How are you treating yourself?
Your happiness will be dictated by what's going on
in between your ears and nothing else.
- Happiness in yourself is being like,
"I'm fully comfortable in who I am,
"what I'm about, what I'm doing in my life,
"and I don't care what the frick anyone else is doing
"because I'm just doing me."
And over time you realize what makes you happy.
And what makes you happy is love, is your job,
and then also what makes you happy,
is just doing what you're passionate about.
And if you find those three things, you will become
the happiest version of yourself.
And don't compare yourself to others.
Just look at that, go down that lane for yourself
and you will find the magic.
- I'll tell you what happiness is for you,
whatever the fuck you want it to be.
(stutters) It doesn't matter what it is,
as long as it's not hurting anyone else,
if it makes you happy, go with it.
Just as long as, if you're not hurting anyone else
with what makes you happy, go with that.
(stutters) Don't let anyone give you a list of things
of, of, of ways to be happy.
Éadaoin gave a list of things, of ways to be happy
and she's not wrong, she's not wrong at all.
They are good things.
Follow her advice if it's for you,
if not, follow whatever makes you happy
as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else.
- Yeah, I agree.
- [Colin] Is it easier to love or to be loved?
- I find it hard, I, I, it's easier to be loved.
- Is it? - When you're me, yeah.
- Neither of them are an effort really.
Or they shouldn't be an effort, I don't think.
It's difficult to show love cause it does, you know,
it's quite a vulnerable thing to do, isn't it?
- Probably easier to love than to be loved
because being loved is letting someone into your whole self
your vulnerable self, the self that probably,
literally nobody else in the planet knows about you,
not even your best friend.
- I think being loved is harder.
I think it's a lot more pressure.
I find it a lot easier to throw myself
into the abyss without thinking.
I would just, I find it easier to
do the action myself rather than sit back.
I think being loved is more difficult
because there is so much more pressure
because you're dealing with probably the most
delicate thing in the world,
which is somebody else's feelings.
- Do you think that there is like that wall?
Cause it's easier to be loved because, you are, like,
you are a funny guy.
A lot of guys have funny personalities,
and a lot of guys are amazing human beings,
however, to give the love back to someone,
whoever that person may be, is like,
you're a little bit guarded.
I just, I'm just curious to ask that
because that's your answer.
- Yeah, um, oh, it's gotten deep
- Oh, we're goin'! I mean,
- I think you're right, I think guys do build,
like the way Colin built this,
they build, they're a bit more guarded.
- Yeah, for me, I love, I love harder.
And I'm a bit too trusting, I'm a bit way,
I'm a bit way too trusting.
- Yeah, I'm the opposite.
- Yeah, see, it's, - Don't trust anyone.
- There you go.
- I feel like in my own relationship right now
Éadaoin is, the best, like,
and she's always thinking about me,
and she always does nice things to me.
And I try so hard to live up to what she deserves,
but I can't.
- But you know that there are like
different types of love languages.
So like, how you express it to her is so different.
So like her way of expressing herself would be
a certain way, which she will do absolutely fabulously
and you're like, "Oh my God, how did she even?"
- And I feel so inferior because she's so good at it like,
- Yeah, but you probably do things and say things
and treat her in such a way that absolutely,
cause of course she absolutely adores it.
Incompatibility in terms of love languages is almost better
because you have someone, we don't always want what we give.
- That actually makes sense actually, yeah.
So she probably treats you in a way
that she doesn't exactly expect back,
but you love her in a different way
that's in, in actuality, far more valuable to her.
- It's easier to love because,
it's yourself putting that out there
but to be loved it's yourself, putting yourself on the line.
One of the hardest things I've ever done in my life
but probably one of the most rewarding things
because it means that you get to another level with a human
that you have so much respect and love for in your life.
- If you want my answer on that
just put written by Dermot Ward
beneath her, there, when everything she just said
cause it's the same thing.
- [Colin] What one piece of life advice
would you give to a newborn?
- To a newborn?
- (gushes air out) Wow.
- [Colin] Now assuming a newborn
would actually understand what you meant.
You get what I mean?
- I get what you mean, I get what you mean.
Someone who understands what we're saying
but is fresh to the world.
- Don't eat yellow snow.
- I was just thinking that.
(Ciara laughs)
- I'd be like, never go to the pool bar on an empty stomach.
- Wait until you are at least 25
to fully understand who you are
because you will meet so many people
along the way and learn so much about yourself
and your career and your values, and your inherent self
in those few years,
that when you get to the point that you're 25
you'll fully be able to evaluate what you want
and who you want and who you are.
- Can I just say it?
That was incredible advice, really, really good advice
but that, you're not giving that to a newborn.
You're recording that when they're born,
and then they watch that when they're like,
- Yeah, but like, - They'll watch that
when they're like 15.
- Life is gonna throw a lot of curve balls your way.
However, if you can manage those curve balls
based on who you are and trust your instincts,
those curve balls are just part of the juggling.
You just gotta take 'em up, and add them,
add them to it because you gotta juggle that shit.
You're gonna juggle it for the rest of your life
but how you manage that juggling,
you're gonna be in the circus for a long time,
you know what I mean?
- Fucking, who cares what I think?
Live your own life, go mad.
The only thing that I would say is, love yourself.
The conversations that you have inside,
just whatever you're doing,
just be kind to yourself.
Everything will be easier when you have a
nicer discussion going on in between your ears.
- [Seán] A piece of life advice you'd give to someone
once they're cognitively ab...
- I'm sorry Seán, but you didn't fucking say that
in the beginning, okay?
You didn't fucking say that.
Did he say that?
He didn't fucking say that, in the beginning.
- But I think if you be sound to other people,
you see what life is all about.
- I agree, but I think that,
- The way you make people feel.
- Kindness only exists, if it exists, inwardly.
I mean the cup is full, it overflows.
I think it all starts from within.
You cannot help other people unless you help yourself first.
If you don't have that good relationship,
all your relationships with other people are just, kind of,
- It's interesting because as Irish people we're, we're,
- Oh, it's what we're taught the opposite of.
- Yeah we're taught to be martyrs.
- We're taught completely the opposite.
- Regardless of what's going on in here, be kind to everybody else.
- But sure that's why,
- [Seán] So Dermot, someone who's turning 25.
- (laughs hysterically) Give advice to someone
who's turning 25? - [Seán] Yeah, yeah.
- Ah, you don't know what's happening, you don't.
You, I am, I guarantee you think, you know, what's going on,
you think you know what, what, what,
where you should be in life.
You think you should know who you are,
and you think you know what you're doing,
hold on, I should probably be talking to you here.
- I'm very offended about what you're saying so.
- I'm, (stutters) this the thing,
I do not mean this as a negative thing
in any way, shape or form, because here's the thing,
if you do believe all that and you move on in life
and say, "25 year old me knows better than 28 year old me,"
for example, that's a bad thing.
Because 28 year old you will be
a better person than you are.
No matter (stutters) no matter what.
So listening to 20, listen to you, listen to you
a year from now, listen to you a year after that,
listen to you a year after that as well.
Listen to you, don't listen to the past you.
Not the person that came,
- But what about my person now?
All right, I'm 25, tell me what I need to know
as someone who is older than a 25 year old.
Tell me, - I can't tell,
- I want to know.
- This is what I'm saying, I can't tell you that.
You can tell you that,
and you know, you will know best when you get there, okay?
Because you will have lived your life.
- No, I don't wanna hear that answer.
I want you to tell me as someone who is older,
what you learned in contrast to your 25 year old self,
tell me now. - Here's the thing,
here's the thing, I'm a fucking idiot who learned,
- No, fuck off.
- No, no, no, fuck you, okay?
This is the truth, I'm honest to God, honest to God,
this the thing, okay?
From, from your age to fucking my age,
I learned very fucking little.
From, from like, in the last couple of years
I've learned more than I've ever learned.
I swear to God, I, I genuinely mean this.
You are you, okay?
And you're gonna be you in a couple of years time,
and in a couple of years time
you're gonna look back on 25 year old you
and you'll be like, "I'm a better person.
"I'm an even better person than that person was."
And that person was,
was a fucking good person in the first place, okay?
So all you need to do is just keep growing
and be a better, and keep being a better person
and you'll be fucking grand.
That's what I'm saying.
- I don't know.
I think that there is at least one piece of advice
that you can give me, - And there is.
- As someone who is 10 years younger
to be like, this is the one piece of advice.
- There is.
There absolutely is. - So give it to me.
- Here it is, here it is.
Don't go looking for one piece of advice
from someone older than you.
That's the one piece of advice I can give you, and it's the truth.
(Éadaoin groans) It is the truth, it is the truth.
- There's more.
- No, there, there really isn't
because do you know who, do you know who's gonna know you
better than anyone else in this world, ever?
You, you're the only person who's gonna know you
better than anyone else in this world.
What I keep saying that it's fucking you,
I genuinely mean that, I genuinely, genuinely mean that.
We, we put so much on how other people perceive us
but other people perceiving us, is, (chuckles)
it comes down to our own perception of ourselves.
- Yeah, I never told you this,
me and Dermot, we're best pals.
- There you go.
- Can you remember, - [Colin] How did that go?
- Can you remember what we talked about?
Cause we can't remember what we talked about,
we just went for it.
- I feel like Colin's learned a lot.
- Yeah.
- Like you were just sitting there nodding,
you know, listening.
- And you're sober. - Yeah.
- Which is also really sad.
- It felt like, (laughs)
it is pretty sad, - It's so sad.
- It is pretty sad, isn't it?
- I do think though,
if you're watching a TRY Channel video
looking for the meaning of life,
you are in the wrong place (chuckles).
- We're just having a lot of fun,
- So, - And hopefully you are too.
- To the person watching this
and not the people watching this,
I'm talking to the person watching this, so you right there,
you watching this right now,
what I'll say to you is what I'll say to everyone else.
Forget everything we just said
and just live your fucking life.
Don't hurt anyone.
That's it, all I can say.
- Life will guide you in the right direction
of what is right and what is wrong.
And it will literally tell you where you're meant to be.
And that is all that matters.
The end.
- If you don't hurt anyone you're doing okay.
- Yep.
(bang bottles)