- All these YouTubers with fancy setups
need to get on my level.
Kitchen roll tripods, you could be saving money.
Anyway, hi, so I know spring cleaning is a thing,
but I've been struck by September cleaning vibes.
10 p.m. on a Thursday,
walked by my bed and saw this box of stuff
just angrily vibrating, like clean me, sort me out,
and I thought, you know what, I should not
ignore that urge 'cause it's never coming back,
not this year.
So I thought we could go through all the stuff,
see what the hell it is.
I'm sure there's some pretty weird stuff in there,
and decide if it sparks joy or it belongs in the bin.
The trash.
So I think we can learn some things about me
and you get the joy of watching me sort my life out
for a little bit, hopefully.
Anyway, let's see what's inside.
(dramatic music)
What have we got we got?
Wow!
Why are these shorts just shoved in the top of the box?
Wow, I was really feeling my gay oats when I bought these.
They are very short shorts.
Maybe next summer I'll be brave enough to wear them.
I might put the box off camera, actually,
because it's ugly, and also I don't wanna spoil everything
that you're about to see.
All right, I'm gonna put the good things to the right,
trash, to the left.
I'm gonna keep them.
What is this?
(laughing)
I forgot you were in this.
This was a present from Dan.
It is David Boreanaz in the bath, signed.
This is a true treasure.
I might put it in the bathroom, he can just
look down and be like, hey, Philly, wanna get soapy?
We're keeping it.
What the frick is this?
A llama duster.
I do not remember buying this.
Be free!
Ooh, it's very erect.
(springing sound effect)
I didn't think he'd be so firm.
Just give this box a dust.
He's like, why are you doing it face first, Phil?
Sorry.
There you go Larry.
I think I could shove him (laughing) right under my bed.
Get in those little nooks and crannies.
Thanks, okay, you can stay.
A ball of string.
Why, why, why?
Why?
I suppose string is something
that is always just in a house.
No one ever, who ever goes out and thinks, oh,
I'll buy some string.
It just always exists.
I never bought this, I own it, I never bought it.
Where'd I get it from?
Maybe string is God.
I don't know, it's useful so it can stay.
I need help.
I don't think I'm gonna be binning or charity-ing
much of this stuff.
But I'll try, okay.
I'll try and do at least three things.
Right whadda we got?
A hedgehog.
Why are you in the box?
It's cute.
Like "Toy Story", he needs to come out of the closet.
I'm not, the toys were gay.
Maybe the toys were gay.
I think Ken was gay, but yeah,
someone needs to play with you.
You're going in the bin.
I mean, charity.
Don't worry.
What the?
Finger yoga?
What the frick is finger yoga?
I guess it's good to have strong digits.
Oh my god, it comes with a little yoga mat.
And some little yoga pants for your fingers.
(humming)
Okay, I'm kind of loving this.
And breathe, and relax and a downward dog.
Okay, that was fun for five seconds.
I'm gonna put it back in the box
and some other person can have it.
(coughing)
There's so much dust.
I feel like I'm unearthing ancient relics.
Oh my god, speaking of ancient relics.
What is this?
Hello.
Ooh, that button is still so satisfying.
Oh, it won't switch on.
I guess we'll never know what bops I was listening to.
What is, Hello Kitty.
Oh, I bought this for a present and I forgot
to give it to my friend.
Hello Kitty Rosé.
We're gonna get hello, litty.
(horn honking)
Sorry.
Extra dry Rose' made from the blood of Hello Kitty.
After the apocalypse, when I'm allowed
to see a friend again, I'm gonna take this.
It'll be a good vintage.
What the, just a metal ball.
I love my metal ball that I keep in a box in my house.
Hm, gritty.
Maybe it's like a crystal ball.
Will 2021 (thumping).
I was gonna ask if 2021 would be better
and I dropped it.
That's not a good sign.
Into the bin.
Oh, vintage Anthony.
It's a trio of emos.
Is this rat, RAT or a rat?
Obviously keeping the photos.
Oh, it's my old school tie.
Do I remember how to be a formal lad?
If you were cool, it would be as short as possible.
Is that still the thing?
This was all the rage.
(laughing)
Let me know, tie people, what's cool now?
Probably wearing it normally.
And I'll keep that, nostalgia.
What is this?
Ooh, this is cool.
This is one of the old prototypes for Truth Bombs.
We had about 10 working titles.
This was a bit rubbish one.
"Dumb questions to ask your friends".
What would this player's name be if you didn't know them?
I'd love it if you looked at me and thought
I had a cool name, like Zack
or something exotic like Trent.
Exotic Trent.
Obviously keep.
I threw like two things away during this game.
I need Marie Kondo to be like Phil, get in the bin.
You're worthless.
I've never seen the show.
I'm assuming she's like the Gordon Ramsey of tidying.
Maybe she's nicer, I don't know.
Oh, we got some old photos.
Look at baby Phil.
That frog does not wanna be there at all.
I didn't sign up to this.
My brother and an actual demon, wow.
What is this?
It is a jigsaw puzzle.
That is the picture.
I struggle enough when there's a picture on the box.
Might be useful if lockdown I'm continues any longer.
I mean, I'm tidying now.
We've reached that point people,
but I feel like some jigsaw enthusiast
will have a great day to see this in a charity shop.
So she's off.
We got a fricking snake.
Why do I still own this snake?
I've had this snake for way too long in my life.
It does let me live my Britney Spears fantasy
every so often, but I don't have room for this.
It needs to go.
This is the end, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Someone else can make use of you.
It's giving me puppy snake eyes.
Okay, you can stay.
My old passport.
(laughing)
I look like a robot, like a robot pretending to be a person.
My face did not look like that back then.
That's an impostor.
My parents have got a third imposter child
called Melvin and he lives in the basement.
I don't know, that's weird.
A candle, icicles.
Don't you just love the smell of an icicle?
It smells like fresh toilet cleaner.
Another one, ooh, Golden Chestnut.
I burned that and then thought, you know,
I'm gonna put that under my bed forever.
It's pretty pleasant.
One of my school reports from year 10.
"Outside of school Philip says he enjoys walking."
Well, that was a lie.
Oh, there he's naturally quiet.
Philip is a popular member of the form
and he's always polite and obedient.
What am I a dog?
Bark for me for me, Philip.
PE, effort, C.
"Philip has missed almost half of the PE lessons this year
"due to a mixture of illness and forgetting his kit.
"The illness is unavoidable,
"but forgetting his kit is just poor organization."
I mean, I deserved that.
I did not wanna do PE.
What is this?
I don't know what you are.
We got a tray and some boxes.
Oh, it's a mini Zen garden.
So we've got a flower thing and a little rock
and some tools to Zen up the sand.
This can be my (stuttering) meditative moment of the day.
All right, let's get the sand in.
♪ I'm getting it on the table. ♪
I'm gonna put this in the middle and then the rock
over to the side.
Okay, we'll first flatten it all out.
You did a wavy boy there.
Here we go.
This is actually very satisfying.
And I am done.
That was actually super relaxing, I love it.
Sorry, I'm keeping it.
You're not gonna find it in a charity shop.
No, no, no, no, I know what this is.
Why do I have this?
I think my mum brought it for me.
Oh God.
Oh, Christ.
(duck quck)
I hated this photo so much.
This was in a magazine, what was it?
"Shout".
I look like a demon and when I went home for Christmas,
my mom had put it up on the wall in my bedroom
as if that's what I wanna see in my own bedroom.
Just like, hey Phil, welcome home.
You can go into the fires of hell.
(voiceover) Oh no!
Okay, after that cursed poster
I think it's time to end this madness.
So we've learned I'm terrible at throwing things away,
but I do enjoy a good bit of nostalgia
and looking through some mems.
If you enjoyed this, give me a thumbs up.
Maybe I could do my bedside drawer next.
Don't know what I'd find in there.
Also, you might not have seen that I have
some new merch and it is in collaboration
with an ocean cleanup charity,
so for every item bought, one kilogram of plastic waste
will be cleared from the ocean, which is really cool.
To celebrate Norman's birthday I got
these beta fish socks, a face mask which says,
I'd rather be at home, that also comes
in an aquatic variety, a reusable water bottle,
and also this cute little "I'd rather be at home" zip bag.
Thank you to everyone that's ordered so far,
because today I found out that we've pledged
to clean over a ton of plastic from the ocean,
which is better than I could ever have dreamed of.
So thank you.
And if you wanna help the little fishes,
you can click the link below.
It is amazingphilshop.com
Hope you're having a lovely day or night,
if you're watching this at 4:00 a.m. on your phone,
go to bed and I'll see you very soon.
Goodbye.
Why does a jock strap have a bare butt?
(jazzy music)