Hello Jiimmy, this is Neil Carroll
I know that everybody who loves you feels your light, warming their hearts and guiding their path.
Thank you for the good memories you left me as a little boy playing catch with me in your driveway.
You bring me back to uh the time of innocence and uh I think the love of family and friends
uh is most important and will help us get through uh our darkest times and
for that I am forever grateful to you.
so, God bless pal and uh until we meet again.
Hey Jimmy
Oh God,
Oh I miss you.
I miss you so much.
I kind of can't believe it's been 20 years it feels like yesterday.
We had such a perfect night the night before
and I tell that to everybody.
Remember, we put Finn to bed because it was the night
before his first day at school, at preschool.
I remember laying in bed
nursing Charlie and you just looked over at me and said,
"Trish you're doing such a good job."
and I remember saying back to you, "Thank you but it's only because of you."
and I think about that all the time and how lucky we are to have that.
The boys are amazing, you would be so proud of them I know you are so proud of them I know they feel
your presence but, I mean, Finn is so wonderful, he's such a handsome, smart, kind young man.
He graduated
college with an accounting degree, he has a job lined up in the city.
He's so independent, so
oh he's so put together.
and Charlie is your spitting image.
I mean he's, you to a T.
Everybody loves him, he has so many friends.
He looks exactly like you.
He's so laid back
and he's so sweet.
We see signs from you all the time, honey, thank you so much. We always see our red foxes
always, and our dragonflies and I know that that means that you're with us always.
I miss you so much honey and I love you
and I don't want to rush it, but I can't wait to see you.
Give my mom a big hug.
I love you honey, bye.
Hi Dad.
I miss you so much.
I admit that for the first few weeks that you were missing,
I thought that you were still alive.
Recovering in a hospital somewhere with minor injuries.
It was a pretty naive thought but, after all I was only eleven years old.
I've looked after mom and Caitlin, but it hasn't been easy growing up without you by my side.
The last time you saw Caitlin, she was five years old and she came downstairs to have
breakfast with you.
And then you tucked her back in bed and said, I'll see you later Caitlin baby.
Caitlin joined you in heaven four years ago.
Just one month shy of her 21st birthday.
We just dedicated a playground in memory of you and Caitlin.
I love you forever, and butterfly kisses always.
Until we meet again, bye Dad.
Um yeah.
Didn't realize how weird this would be but you know dad uh
just you know thinking about you lately and,
you know, you left us on a Tuesday like this.
Stupidly lost my vision five months later which you know, good you're not...good you weren't here for that
[LAUGHTER]
um
but yeah Jesse and Nico are doing really good,
Mommy's doing good
now i'm getting married soon so you know, just got engaged so,
my beautiful Zoey and
I wish you were gonna be here with us for that.
Walking around with this stupid cane sucks uh,
lost my vision five months after you died, I lost you and
my vision all at once you know.
I hate it and you know, it really upsets me all, like you know, to no end somtimes
you know and...
I guess that's why I get angry sometimes, so easily sometimes
um
Miss you, I wish you had you here to talk to you about it and stuff and
you could put me straight. You know put me in my place when I get upset about it and stuff
That's why I need you...
that's why we need you here um
i just uh,
Mets ain't doing so good right now they just collapsed and so, in their season so
oh well 2021 that's how it goes I guess
you know just
that's just how it is.
I didn't think I would get so emotional doing this um
I miss being on the ferry with you and you take me home from work once in a while and
wish I can go home from work one, one day and meet you down at the ferry you know I think that would be
would've been awesome.
[NERVOUS LAUGHTER]
um
[FERRY HORN BLOWS]
I just
[LAUGHTER]
I love that sound, that horn.
it always brings me back
to spending time um
yeah wow.
I'm trying to like, you know learn how to learn a little bit how to
make like repairs in my own home like you would do and just
makes me feel happy when like even if i just
change a light bulb or screw on a door handle that
got loose or something that just, that makes me feel good to know that like I did that and you know
I think in some way you might be a little proud of me doing that.
Hopefully I make you proud, you know, with what I'm doing in life.
I love you dad.
We miss you here and
wish you were gonna, we wish you were here with all of us.
Love you.
Talk to you soon.
Hey Dad, it's Matthew um
I don't really know what to say if I'm being honest I uh I have all these
things going through my head and I'm just um
I'm just
standing here wondering to myself how any of this is real I um
I don't know man I, I just uh
I just wish that um you
that you went quick
and uh that's what they say and that's that's what we were told but uh
sometimes I feel like um I don't know I was lied to but um
I don't know I thought of all of the
worst possible things that could have happened to you um and uh I wish I didn't. I wish I didn't
I wish I didn't um
consume my mind with those thoughts for so long and unfortunately I did
um I know you're at peace now and I just wish um
you know, I just want to hear your voice again, um just want you to...
just want you to uh
tell me that you love me um
I uh
I wish you could just give me another sign that I don't know things are okay um
but uh
I love you, and um, miss you and talk to you soon.
Hey-
Hey Sis.
Yeah, it's Sam
Yep 20 years.
I know I can't believe it either.
Feels like yesterday.
Whole family misses you.
That day lives on and uh every day in our hearts.
I remember there's
There's one time where
a couple of weeks before your accident, you had broken your arm, with Ricardo you're riding with him and came over to the house
we're inside the kitchen and I opened up the door and
accidentally hit your arm and man did you scream and yell at me.
[LAUGHTER]
You were so mad at me
and I didn't pick up the phone to say I'm sorry.
20 years, Sis
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry I wasn't there for you
at the end, I'm sorry that we couldn't find you,
I'm sorry we couldn't save you.
There's not a day that goes by that
that I just hope that you're proud of all of us.
I miss you so much.
I want you back.
One day, we'll all be together.
Some of us are already up there with you.
but I won't see you for a little bit, I'm not done yet.
Got way too much.
I'll see you soon,
in my dreams, when I'm at your grave
and I promise,
all of us will never forget.
I love you Karen.
with all my heart.
Bye Sis.
For now.