Don't you love it when someone who rejected you comes crawling back?
(demonic music) HALLO, IT'S ME! I'M BACK! HALLO!
You've been waiting months for this.
Years even.
DECADES if your cold black heart is cold and black enough.
And then,
Out of the blue,
You hear that sweet, sweet bloop
(phone notification rings)
Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well.
Look how the tables,
Have turned.
(dramatic bang)
You know, they say revenge is a dish best served cold
And I assume that this is because when you're first slighted,
You were probably eating a lot of ice cream.
(crying voice) One day,
Yer gonna come crawling back to me
Yooh see (you'll see)
Hnlp.
I'm calling it right now!
Yngenna come (you're gonna come),
Anysngena text me outta buu (and you're gonna text me out of the blue)
Ann den (and then)
AH maneven (my revenge)
Yu'll see! Okay? I told you so!
I told you so!
(choking noise) x2
(sniff)
Aye wubb (I know)
I'm nice.
I had this guy who had been like a mega asshole to me
Reach out and say
Mega asshole: "Hey! let's get together!"
"I miss you!"
"It's been a while!"
And I just couldn't stop that smug sense of satisfaction
that over came my entire being
Because three years ago,
We were kinda dating each other,
Kinda seeing each other,
Made out a few times
And he was gonna move to a different state.
So I said:
Oh man...
You're moving?
...wanna go to lunch?
My treat.
It will be like our little going away party.
(text sent notification)
(text notification) Mega asshole: "Nah. See you never."
Yup.
"See you never."
HA!
HA, HA!
Well it's three years later, bro!
And guess who wants to see me now?
So you know what I said?
Dude, I don't care about you no more
It's been three years
Get outta here
(snicker)
Ignored
The "I told you so" in my heart was enough
But it just sucks when someone disses you that hard but then eventually comes back
It's like,
You don't even care anymore, right?
Like, you've had enough time to just completely move on
I just wished my past-self who was like, eating all that ice cream and crying
Could look into the future at this moment
and have her, her just like, her up most righteousness
But that's not the way that life works, right?
And look, not everyone who disses you or rejects you is eventually gonna come crawling back
But,
It's always a possibility
And I know I should say that you should be the bigger person
And everyone has their own journey
And you should try to understand that and learn to forgive and forget
But,
I'm not gonna say that
I'm gonna say,
Enjoy that sweet, sweet feeling that you won
Because you did
And I'm a petty motherfucker.
I'm Anna Akana.
Stay Awesome, Gotham.