< (Jeff! Jeff!)
— Agh! [muffled yells] — Shh! Shhh!
They'll hear us! They'll hear us!
Just, just do exactly as I say and you'll make it out of this alive, I promise. Shh!
Put this cream all over your face, right now.
— What? No! [squirt]
[struggles] Stop it! Agh!
— There's no time to explain.
You wanna die, Jeff?!
— [sobs] No...!
— Come on, get up. On the face. — What is this?!
— Wha—? It's quantum cream. Prevents time burns.
— Burns? — Yeah. From the time machine, Jeff,
from the time machine.
— Why aren't you putting this on? — How do you think I got here?
— Follow me. — Yeah.
— Stay low. — Okay.
— On my mark. Three, two, one, c'mon. — Okay...
♪ [intense music] ♪
— < Jeff! [car passes loudly]
Shit! Get down, that's one of 'em. We gotta take him out.
— Wha—? What? Me?! — I'm the brains, you're the brawn, remember?
— I can't fight him, he's just some guy!
— You wanna get to that time machine, we gotta get through him.
There's no time to explain, Jeff. Just go! — [yells]
♪ [music builds] ♪
[yells] — [man groans]
— [yells] [offscreen clang]
— [man groans]
[wrench clatters]
— Get the calculator! Get the calculator! — Okay!
[elevator dings]
— [woman] Oh, my goodness!
— [frantically] What are we doing?!
— This is it. I'll be going first. — That's the time machine?
— No, it's a mini-fridge.
Yes, it's a time machine, Jeff! Wake the fuck up and get me inside!
I've set it to go 10 minutes back. Alright? I'll see you on the other side.
— Okay. — You gotta go this way, and then you gotta swing...
... hold on, no. That wasn't right. [they strain] [door slams]
— [pants]
♪ [suspenseful music] ♪
[gasps]
— Hey! — Whoa! Oh, my god!
— [man yells]
— Oh! Agh!
[thud] Ogh!
[slow heartbeat]
— (Jeff, Jeff...) >
Jeff! Get...! Get down here!
— What the hell is going on. — We're 10 minutes in the past.
10 minutes from our target.
— No! You need to tell me what that time machine is, and why that guy was trying to kill me.
— It's a time machine, it travels you back in time,
and number two... — No, no...
— ... you killed his friend. — [stammers] No!
— There's no time to waste, just put this on.
— Wha—? Why didn't you just set it to 15 minutes back so we'd have 5 minutes to talk?
— C'mon!
♪ [ominous noise] ♪
— Is that me?! — Well, yeah, 10-minutes-from-the-past you.
— But what am I doing out here? — Man, don't you get it yet?!
We're all just characters in a video. Everything you know is a lie.
Free will, fate, we're just pawns in their game. We gotta break out.
— R... really?
— Well, also, those are aliens and we gotta kill 'em and take their spaceship.
Use the wand.
(Jeff, the safe... the safety's on. Jeff, the safety's on.)
(Jeff! Jeff! Jeff, the safety's on!)
[inaudible speech]
[laser fires] — [groans]
— Oh, God!
[laser fires with intensity]
— [they scream] [squelch!]
— [he guffaws]
C'mon, man, we gotta get the spaceship!
C'mon. C'mon!
Alright, you know how to drive one of these things, right?
— Lemme guess. — What're you doing, man?! You gotta hit the button!
— What button?! [prolonged car horn] [they scream]
— Today, my job is to make my friends blow up! [they scream]
And I know that sounds weird, but it's not as weird as some of the things that happen 'round here.
— There's no reason to risk a man's life here.
[crew laughs hysterically]
— Oh, my God! What are we, what are we doing?
— There's no time to explain. This is a serious piece. [laughs]
— What would be really nice is to get some really incredible pot,
and smoke it. — [laughs]