MAC!
So this video's late.
The Oscars happened on Sunday it is currently Wednesday, and I'm filming this video
I want to put this out on Thursday, but knowing me this probably won't come out until Friday or even worse a Saturday
I'm a mess
My tour starting this weekend, been finding an apartment this week.
Everything's been happening all that once
But today I found time to sit back relax and tear apart some celebrities and their fashion choices. That's right
You've seen the title
Today we're reviewing the Oscars red carpet on the floor
ON THE FLOOOOR!
Jordan Peele won award that's all that matters. And Timothee Chalamet was there
And that's all I care about. Also Armie Hammer..
Because he's f***ing Armie HAmmer.
Jennifer Gardener realized something,
and the amount of years Meryl Streep has been nominated for an Oscar
is literally one less year than my current age
So that's something
I've literally grown up with Meryl Streep being nominated for an Oscar almost every year of my life
Why isn't she president? Let's just read these hoes
Lupita Nyong'o
Go ahead. We love gold here
Emily Blunt
Don't go ahead. Stop for a second and breathe..
What is happening is this lace choking you what's going on
it looks like someone made this dress all blue..
And they're like oh, this is too blue. Let me add something to it
*gay ass sprinkle*
There we go
You know what you tried your best. It's cute
I'm excited to see you in Mary Poppins though
If you're watching this, invite me to the premiere. I love you
I feel like I burn a lot of bridges doing this red carpet review.
What if one day I wanted to win an Oscar?
I probably can't anymore. I ruined that.
That bridges been burned.
That bridge is gone
Maybe it's not I don't know
Gimme ten years..
Meryl Streep.
There she is. I feel like at this point in her life
She's just like whatever well. Oh, I got invited to the Oscars again. Okay. Dress me
That's me if I was a Meryl Streep's shoes whenever I got invited to another award show I'd be like okay
I'm not picking my dress someone just throw something on me. I'm going on that red carpet. I don't care anymore
I feel like at this point of time whenever Meryl Streep is nominated
They should just give her a thank you for
Existing award the amount of times this woman has to carry her ass to an award show wearing these dresses
Y'all better give her something now. It's been 20 years
Y'all should be paying her now
Y'all wasted her time...Y'all wasting her Sunday night
Sally Hawkins
..I feel like my great-grand-mother
owns this dress
She is the main character from the film shape of water
Where she played a mute woman
which reminds then me that I've never once heard Sally Hawkins speak in my entire life
I don't even think I've ever seen her in another movie other than that
Has she been in another movie?
Is she famous?
You and Emily Blunt are in the same dress category
Oh - too silver.
Let's just throw some shit at the bottom and tie a black string around it,
FASHION!
Cute
Nicole Kidman
I'm glad you found some shields for your hips. You know I like this. I like it a lot actually
I'm just very confused where your second leg currently is
Anseeeell Ellllgorrrt
Is that green?
I mean, it's a suit
He's there.
He exists.
Leslie Mann
Go ahead girrl. Go ahead.
GO AHEAD
Girl, bitch go ahead
Out here looking like a peach.
Don't tell Timothee Chalamet
Sandra Bullock
You know what me too me too girl
She kinda looks like she's smiling through the pain
Like if she doesn't want to be there, But she has too
Honestly, same
Emma Stone
What happened who cut off your dress.
She's wearing pants
I've never seen her wear pants
At least not at award shows
Have I ever seen her wear pants at award shows?
I don't think she's ever worn pants at an award show
I don't know
I don't really pay attention to the legs of Emma Stone, okay, let's be honest
I mean, this is cute. I don't know what the pink is doing though, but it's cute
She also has like she doesn't want to be there.
Kinda just like, welp, yeah
Won last year but whatever
Jennifer Lawrence
looking like she is ready to fight
Okay, giving me gladiator goddess
Okay, giving me Miss Wonder Woman sidekick
What were they called?
Amazoni-Amazonian?
Amazonian
Jesus
Mother Nature
Got kicked in the face in her last movie
Go ahead
Gal Gadot
With the fringe girl, Bring it back
Lookin' like a Burlesque Barbie Doll
Chira-see Ronan
Chirorsay? Saariss?
Simanaree
I did this before
What is happening here?
*gay ass laugh*
What is happening here?!
There is so much
But you look like I look like a schoolgirl
Going to church on Easter Sunday
So much pink
And is that supposed to be a bow behind you? Because, I am confused
Are those wings?
Can you fly girl?
You are in a movie called Lady Bird
Was that code?
Is she also wearing a cape?
WHAT IS-
All I'm seein' right now
She's wearing a dress with a cape and a bow that might be wings
A cape and some wings and a bow
All pink
Go ahead
Honestly, live your dream
And there he is
Timothee Chalamet
You know we all have dreams of being waiters too
He's the type of person that could pull something like this off
I were to wear this, shit
I'd look like an indentured servant
White on white on white on a white boy
We love it here
So skinny like in an actual physical way not the stand Twitter way
Skinny Legend Maria Carrey, 2018
I feel like I can break you
That wasn't a threat, that was just....
An observation
Great
Moving on
Greta Gerwig
Do your thang girl, do your thang
With all that yellow?
What is on the yellow?
Lowkey, looks like you're wearing frosted flakes? Well, you know what I'm not judging
I'm just hungry.
You also look very nervous and anxious. Honestly. I relate, just like I related to your movie
Zenday-
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Oh yes bitch, bitch yes, yes bitch yes
What who you bitch? Yes, you bitch. Bitch, what? There bitch yes, bitch
There
Biiiiitch
Yes, bitch
Upside down bitch
Sideways, bitch.
Bun on top bitch, yes
With the earrings bitch yes
That silver and that brown bitch
YESSSSSSSSSSSSS
Bitch
I like it
Armie Hammer
*gay moan*
A man,
Can he just
Will he just if we just
Is it okay if he just
Just once
In my bussy all I ask for
Also, red on red into it
I want to touch it, actually
It looks very soft, you look very soft. I want to touch you
I'M GOIN TO FAR WITH THIS-
Viola Davis
Did we have to?
Mary J. Blige
Girl, your shoulder's falling off.
Better pick it up.
Kinda looks like your dress got wet
So,you covered it with a towel, but it was too late for it to dry
So he just walks out with the towel and half the dress
It's like your dress is wearing a case. like you have a dress case on.
Still putting that funk up in that dance
Sorry, I see, go ahead girl.
You don't need no hateration, toleration, in this daa-haanacary.
Who are you?
And why am I obsessed with allll of this?
Salma Hayek
Out here lookin' like a regal seahorse
Daniel Kahlua
I don't know
I want to be down for the cause but like at the same time
What?
I understand that these men are trying their goddamn hardest not to show up on the red carpet
Just wearing black at the same time sometimes wearing black is better.
You know what I'm glad you got out now
You just gotta get out of that outfit. I'm sorry.
Gina Rodriguez
Go ahead pixie wings
Finally last, but not least we'll end it on Jordan Peele
I'm not gonna say it. We already talked about it with Timothee Chalamet.
Just apply it here
Glad you won.
That's it. We're gonna stop there. I'm tired my butt hurts from sitting.
Thank you guys so much for watching!
Moral of the story..
Is it Charosee? Chiraso, Charoshow?
Comment down below
How does Armie Hammer make you feel?
For me it's a lot of things, all at once, together, inside and outside my body.
My name is Mac.
And don't forget to like, comment share and subscream, BAAAAAAAAH
*gay ass outro*
GO TO HIS TOURRRRRR!!!!
Subtitles by Rylee!!