Gentlemen, have you ever seen a cocky guy at a bar and thought, “Man I can’t stand
that guy, why do women like him?”
They don’t, but you’re not giving them another option by sitting over there and moping.
Hello guys and of course, ladies, this episode is for you too.
Julian here for DNews.
A new study from the University of Queensland offers a new answer for why overconfident
men at bars and clubs seem to be more successful.
The study had over 3000 men and women create dating profiles which were rated by the opposite
sex.
Subjects researchers identified as confident came across as either confident, which was
appealing, or arrogant, which wasn’t.
Nobody likes that guy, c’mon.
And the women in the study agreed.
That is until the men had the option to compete with each other.
Cocky guys were more willing to go toe to toe with the competition, and usually weren’t
the first to blink.
Because they didn’t back down, they eliminated the competition, and it’s easy to come in
first when you’re in a race of one.
The same held true for women; when they could compete with each other, the more confident
ones drove others away and were more successful.
The researchers suggested the same arrogance would translate to a crowded bar or club,
and the arrogant ones would usually come out on top.
Get your mind out of the gutter.
This adds some food for thought to the age old cliche that confidence is sexy.
And it is.
As Andrea Bartz explains in her advice column on the Date Report, one of the many reasons
confidence is sexy is because confident people are naturally good at selling themselves.
Not literally…
well, I guess so too, I wouldn’t know.
But when given the opportunity to present just how great they are, confident people
took it and ran.
That confidence is more likely to help your cause.
Confident people also make it clear they’re interested in us.
According to Harvard Psychologist Dr. Craig Malkin, when someone expresses interest in
us, we have a natural tendency to reciprocate.
But arrogance pushes people away and is generally unattractive.
And like I said, it cuts both ways for men and women.
Researchers at Webster University observed women flirting in a bar.
Consistently the most successful approach was a smile and eye contact, regardless of
what the woman looked like.
Another group of researchers asked some participants to treat a shy girl like she was the hottest
thing since bacon, and over the course of the semester she became much more confident.
By the end, students who weren’t a part of the study were asking her out.
So when you fold in the new info from the University of Queensland, It looks like there’s
an ideal balance of being confident just barely to the point of arrogance.
Be confident to be attractive, and just over the top enough to drive the competition away.
Of course no matter how confident and gorgeous you are, you’re not going to be everyone’s
cup of tea.
Know when to take a hint and find someone else to charm.
If you’re ready to get out there but you still have no idea what you’re doing, Tara’s
got a brief guide on how to flirt better using
science here.