- I HAVE SOME BIG NEWS IN THE DEGENERES HOUSEHOLD.
THINGS HAVE BEEN GETTING HOT AND HEAVY IN OUR KITCHEN.
PORTIA HAS STARTED COOKING.
HOW ABOUT THAT?
[cheers and applause]
LAST NIGHT, SHE MADE SOME MICROWAVE POPCORN AND--
NO, SERIOUSLY, SHE REALLY STARTED COOKING.
SHE'S LIKE A JULIA CHILD.
SHE HAS A VERY HIGH VOICE, AND SHE'S--
WEARS A GIRDLE AND--
SO I'M PROUD OF HER, BECAUSE SHE DECIDED
SHE WANTED TO LEARN HOW TO COOK,
AND SHE'S TEACHING HERSELF.
SHE'S NOT TAKING ANY LESSONS.
SHE'S JUST FIGURING IT ALL OUT ON HER OWN.
AND I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. "UH-OH."
BUT NO.
IT'S ACTUALLY IT'S TURNING OUT.
SHE'S GOOD. AND COOKING IS NOT EASY.
HOW MANY PEOPLE HERE COOK?
ANYBODY? YEAH.
[cheers and applause]
TURNS OUT A LOT OF PEOPLE COOK.
I--IT WAS-- IT'S AN ODD THING FOR ME.
BUT 'CAUSE WHEN YOU REALLY LOOK AT IT,
AND I'M WATCHING, IT CAN BE DANGEROUS.
'CAUSE THERE'S FIRE AND STEAM AND SHARP KNIVES AND--
YOU KNOW, PORTIA'S DOWN TO THREE FINGERS, BUT SHE IS--
SHE IS NOT GIVING UP. SHE IS NOT.
AND ACTUALLY, I THINK SHE'S GOOD AT IT
BECAUSE SHE'S A VERY CREATIVE PERSON
'CAUSE SHE PAINTS AND SHE'S AN AMAZING WRITER
AND SHE'S AN INCREDIBLE PUPPETEER.
YOU SHOULD SEE THE--
AND COOKING IS REALLY-- IT'S AN ART.
AND IT HELPS TO BE CREATIVE AND TO BE CRAFTY,
AND FOR MY BIRTHDAY, SHE MADE ME A DELICIOUS
VEGETARIAN LASAGNA WITH GOOGLY EYES ON TOP.
IT WAS DELICIOUS AND FUNNY.
AND IT'S GREAT, 'CAUSE I CAN'T COOK,
AND I TRIED ONE TIME, BUT IT DID NOT GO WELL.
REMEMBER THOSE L.A. FIRES?
[laughter]
IT WAS A BROCCOLI CASSEROLE I WAS--
IT'S NICE TO HAVE ONE PERSON IN THE RELATIONSHIP
WHO COOKS, THOUGH.
'CAUSE THAT WAY, WE CAN SHARE THE RESPONSIBILITIES
IN THE KITCHEN AND--
'CAUSE A LOT OF COUPLES DO THAT.
LIKE, PORTIA COOKS, AND I CLEAN.
[scoffs] KIDDING. GROSS.
[laughter]
I DON'T CLEAN, NO.
BUT I THINK IT'S GREAT
THAT SHE'S SO EXCITED TO LEARN SOMETHING NEW,
'CAUSE IT'S IMPORTANT, I THINK, AS WE GET OLDER
TO CONTINUE TO CHALLENGE OURSELVES TO LEARN NEW THINGS.
AND THAT IS WHY I WATCH JEOPARDY
WHILE I PRACTICE MY POLE DANCING.
I DO.
[cheers and applause]
WHAT IS ANGINA, ALEX?
[laughter]
I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THERE.
I RECOMMEND IT TO EVERYBODY.
TRY TO LEARN SOMETHING NEW THIS WEEK, IF YOU CAN.
LEARN HOW TO PLAY A NEW INSTRUMENT OR AN INSTRUMENT
IF YOU HAVEN'T PLAYED ANYTHING AT ALL.
LEARN ABOUT YOUR FAMILY HISTORY.
YOU MIGHT FIND OUT YOU'RE RELATED TO OPRAH.
OR YOU CAN WATCH THIS AND LEARN HOW TO DANCE.