What is up, everyone?
Welcome back to my channel.
If you are new here, my name is Vanessa Lau from VanessaLau.co, and the deal here is that
every Wednesday, I like to post personal development videos and videos on mindset hacking so that
I can help you become more motivated to live a happier and more fulfilling life.
Today's video is a little bit more challenging to create.
It's the reason why I left my corporate job, and deep down inside, when I started my YouTube
channel, I knew that this was probably the video that I should have posted first, but
because it's such a taboo topic, I really held it off, and I was worried mostly about
what my old colleagues and my old managers would think and what my old company would
think because I truly respect and really loved actually working every single person in that
company, so I really didn't want to come off as ungrateful.
Especially when you leave a job, it's a very personal decision, and it's not a decision
that you necessarily ... Like I guess what I'm trying to say is just because I left my
job doesn't mean you should leave your job, right?
I just didn't want to, I don't know, add ... What's that term?
Add fuel to the flame or something like that?
That's why I really held off posting it and creating it in general, but what I realized
is that when I did started opening up a little bit as to why I left or the fact that I did
leave, my DMs and my inboxes have just been blowing up almost every day from people who
really want to understand why I left, so I thought, "Okay.
You know what?
I think it's time to make a video."
On top of that, I think that when you leave your job or just the topic of leaving your
job is so taboo that it can be pretty lonely and pretty scary when you are trying to figure
out if this is the right decision for you.
I know that I would have really appreciated a video like this just for the purpose of
connecting with someone because when someone wants to leave their job, they're not going
to go around and telling the whole world.
"I'm planning on leaving.
Blah, blah.
This is why."
It's not until they actually leave where they maybe start talking about it more, but even
then, it's a little bit uncomfortable.
I thought that if this video can make you feel less alone or it can really help you
at least organize all those thoughts that are going through your mind, then I thought,
"Why not?"
I think that if I can help someone through that, then I think it's worth posting.
Structure of this video is going to be more like a story time, but I definitely think
that you should stick around until the end because near the end of the video, I'm probably
going to dive in more into the actual like brain exercises and like questions that I
ask to really narrow down why leaving my job was the right decision for me.
Before we jump into the video, I also want to put, I don't know, a side note out there
that this was my personal decision, and it doesn't have to be yours.
Everyone has their own reasons for why they leave a job, so just keep in mind that this
video is very personal to me, and it's not the magic formula that you have to follow
to figure out if your job is right for you.
Before I dive into the meat of the video, which is the "why I left," I think it's really
important for me to at least give a little bit of detail as to where I come from and
my background.
I graduated two years ago from a very competitive business school, which made you associate
success to finding internships and full-time offers at big corporate companies.
Of course, being the keener that I was, in first and second year, I had already started
to narrow down which corporate company that I wanted to work with.
By the end of that exercise of narrowing down which company was best for me, I decided that
I wanted to work for this Fortune 500 that's in the beauty industry, and it's one of those
companies that I think any girl, whether they're in business or not, would die to work for.
In second year, I think beginning of second year, the moment I set my sights on this company
was the moment that I just went full-fledged keener.
Everything that I did, whether it was doing a lot of extracurriculars, taking a bunch
of internship, and just working my ass off, was all for the goal of getting a full-time
offer at this company eventually.
Fast forward a couple more years, and my hard work finally paid off, and I got the full-time
offer.
When I got the full-time offer before I graduated, I was just so happy.
My ego felt really nice, and it was just comforting to know that I didn't have to scramble in
my last year of university to find a full-time job after, and then fast forward again a couple
months later, when I finally started my first day at this job, and keep in mind that I had
pictured this first day at my first full-time job for like years up to this point, I expected
fireworks.
I expected to feel like I finally made it.
But then, I guess after a while when you work full-time, you start to look around you, and
you're like, "Oh, this is it.
Okay."
Seriously, I really tried to brush that feeling off a lot because I knew deep down that it's
really naïve to think that your first job or your first few months is going to be sunshine
and rainbows, and keeping in mind that success takes time and it's really dumb for you to
expect it to be fireworks right away, so I kept going.
As I kept going, I just kept telling myself, "Okay.
Once I hit the next position or once I get to the next level, then I'll be happy," but
the truth is, is that position after position, I just found myself in a situation where I
still wasn't happy.
Truthfully, again, I kept a lot of that to myself because, one, I didn't want to come
off as ungrateful because I was very grateful, and number two, I didn't want to come off
as impatient, but most importantly, what I also kept telling myself is that, "Vanessa,
you are still young.
You are only X months into the job.
You still have a lot to learn," and that was extremely true.
I did have a lot to learn, and that's why I just kept going with it.
But then, eventually, I just hit a point where over a year had past and my situation didn't
really get better, and in a way, it just got worse, and I found myself feeling pretty miserable
and pretty frustrated not just with the job, but with myself.
When I was frustrated, I would literally cry and just ask myself, "Why is it so hard for
me to get out of bed?
Why do I dread going to work?
Why do I feel so forced to do work that I really am not excited about?
Why do I feel so drained all the time?"
Looking back, I think that I just didn't really want to admit that job and the company just
wasn't for me.
I felt like I went through like an identity crisis because for four years in university,
I tied my identity and I tied my self-worth into getting this job, and I worked my ass
off to get this job, so it just didn't make sense to me that it wasn't clicking.
I think another thing that added to me feeling so frustrated and just so filled with anxiety
was because I wasn't bad at my job either, and I had a lot of people that were supporting
me whether it was colleagues, whether it was my managers, and the last thing that I wanted
to do was let anyone down.
For many months, it was really hard for me because I just felt so lost.
I felt like my definition of success was really tied to this company, and I was so scared
that if I quit, then what does that mean?
It means that I'm a failure because everyone else in university and society to an extent
tells you that we need to have a secured job at a really fancy company in order to be considered
a success, and so I just felt so conflicted because my heart was telling me one thing,
but my mind was telling me another.
But then, eventually, what happened, months had past by, and I was just sick of my own
shit like seriously, I was sick of myself because I looked in the mirror, and I just
realized that I became those people who I hate, people who just complain, complain,
complain, complain, complain, and don't do anything to fix their situation, and that's
when I knew, "Holy shit, I need to do something about this.
I need to stop complaining and try to get myself out of this rut."
Before I actually left my job, I did try to make my situation better because I'm a firm
believer that you need to narrow down exactly what makes you upset.
I don't think that it's right to automatically think, "Okay.
Shit is hard.
I'm going to quit."
I think it's important to say, "Okay.
Shit is hard, but why is it hard?
Let me first try to find solutions to this problem," and if those solutions don't work,
then maybe that's when you consider to leave your job.
Anyways, I ended up mastering the courage to book an appointment with my contact at
the HR department in the company, and I essentially told them how I felt.
I was pretty transparent to a degree of my feelings and the fact that I was very unhappy
working at the company, and I wanted to work with them to find a solution on how they can
help me.
What ended up happening is I ended up switching teams, and I also ended up switching to a
role that had way more responsibility than what I was doing.
I was extremely proud of myself for making that stride to raise my hand and literally
be like, "Help me.
I need help with this," and I was very, very happy that the company did help me.
If you're in a situation where you aren't really sure why you're upset, I highly recommend
that you at least reach out to someone, whether that's your manager, whether that's someone
from HR, to ask them what they think and ask them if they can help you because at the end
of the day, you want to leave knowing that you tried your very best to make your situation
work.
At that point, another month had past, and I kind of found myself ... Well, not kind
of.
I did.
I found myself with a new problem, and my new problem was that even with this sexier
role, I still wasn't happy, and that's essentially where I realized that it didn't matter if
I had a different team.
It didn't matter if I had a different brand.
It didn't matter if I had different job responsibilities.
I think what it boiled down to was that I just didn't like working in a corporate environment,
and I just didn't really like the job that I was doing in general.
It's okay to feel that way, and for so long, I felt ashamed of that, but what I realized
is that when you graduate from university, do you really know what you're going into?
No, and I think that life is all about testing and learning, and so what happened with me
is I tested this job for almost two years, and then I realized and I learned that it
wasn't for me, and I had to be okay with that.
Going back to why I didn't like my job, I think a really big reason was that I just
didn't feel fulfilled, and I know that a good percentage of people that are going to be
watching this video is going to say, "Oh, you're so naïve.
Not every job that you have is going to be fulfilling."
That's great.
That's what you think, but for me, when I look back at my university experience, I had
a jam-packed schedule, and I was working my ass off.
To put this into context, at one point in my last year of university, in order to graduate
fast enough so that I could work full-time right after, I had a maxed out course load
for both terms.
I was working two part-time jobs, one in the morning and one at night, and I was also president
of the entire student society.
I was doing a lot of work, but not once did that really feel like work.
I was so happy to do it.
Whereas when I contrast it and compare with my job at the corporate company, everything
I did just felt like hard work that I didn't want to do.
It was very exhausting for me, and when I think back about the times where I worked
really hard, but it didn't feel like work, it made me realize that loving what you do
is possible.
So then, I asked myself, "Okay, so why don't I love what I'm doing at this corporate job?"
I think the real answer is that I just didn't have clarity as to my life's future because
when I compare it back to the times where I worked really hard in university, all of
my actions were 100% aligned with my goal, and my goal at the time was to get this job.
It was to get a full-time job after graduating, and so that's why all of the hard work that
I did, it made sense, and my purpose was so big and so exciting that working hard during
university just never felt like work.
It just felt like I was fulfilling a purpose that was bigger than myself.
With that nugget of wisdom, I then proceeded to do the following three exercises that ultimately
led me to finally take the plunge and quit my job.
The first exercise that I did is I asked myself, "What exactly is my life vision?
What do I want for myself?
Is what I'm doing today 100% or at least 80% aligned with what I want in my life?"
I used an arbitrary number like the age 30, and I asked myself, "Okay.
By 30, what type of lifestyle do I want to have?
Where do I want to work?
What do I want to be doing every day?
What are my day-to-day tasks?"
What I realized that what I was doing at my job just seriously was not aligned with my
big vision.
Second big question that I asked myself was, "Do I want my boss's job, or is there anyone
in this company that I envy being?"
For me, personally, my answer was a hard no, and even though I have an immense amount of
respect for every single person that I worked with, I just realized that I didn't want their
job, so why would I be staying at a company where I didn't see a future in?
What it also boils down to is I didn't have a "why."
I didn't have internal motivation, and that's why I felt very frustrated, and I felt very
stuck doing things that I was doing because I didn't have a reason why, which isn't a
good thing because I personally believe that if you're going to be spending 70% of your
time, if not more, at your job, you should at least really enjoy it.
After I realized that I didn't exactly have a "why" that was aligned with what I was doing
at that job, the last thing that I did is I did a risk assessment.
I wanted to see how risk-tolerant I actually was, and I think that this was probably one
of the most important exercises that I did before I finally called it quits.
What I essentially did and what I would recommend anyone to do before they pull the plug is
to actually physically write down every single thing that you can think of that could go
wrong in one column, and then in the next column right beside it, write down your solutions.
Write down how you're going to solve that problem.
For me, what I realized when I was doing this exercise is that I had a solution for every
single thing that could go wrong, which made me realize that I was in a very good position
to leave.
Even though I didn't have that much money saved up nor did I have a concrete backup
plan, for me, doing that exercise was enough for me to realize that I'm in a good position
compared to a lot of people.
What this exercise also made me realize is that I'm extremely privileged because not
a lot of people can just leave their jobs and go back to live with their parents.
A lot of people can be on their visas.
A lot of people could have their parents in a different country.
A lot of people could have a mortgage.
They could have kids.
What I realized too at that point was that, "Damn, I'm still very young.
My risk tolerance is very high, and so I would be doing myself a huge disservice if I wasn't
spending my time doing things that are more aligned with my bigger purpose because not
a lot of people have the luxury to do that."
That is when I knew that leaving was the right decision for me.
On top of that, my definitely for risk completely changed as well.
Back then, I thought that leaving my job would be really risky, but in doing these exercises,
I found that staying at my job was riskier because when I'm staying at my job doing things
that don't light me up, I am actually taking time away from me actually finding something
that I enjoy doing whole-heartedly, and that's why it became very clear to me that I needed
to leave.
I needed to leave to take time off to pursue my dreams, and one of my dreams is to be an
entrepreneur, but that also doesn't mean that I am set in stone with that dream because
what I want to also share with you is that it's okay to change your mind.
We're raised to think that quitting is such a bad thing.
It's not.
Yes, I agree that you shouldn't quit something just because it's hard, but I also think that
you shouldn't be wasting your time on something that doesn't serve you.
I don't think that you should be wasting your time on something where you can't connect
the dots to your bigger vision, to your dream.
For me, even though, right now, I am experimenting with entrepreneurship, that's not to say that
I'm going to be an entrepreneur for the rest of my life because you know why?
I've never been an entrepreneur the same way how you have never worked a full-time corporate
job, so that's why you have to forgive yourself when things don't work out the way you think
they're going to work out because life is all about testing and learning.
You have to test things in order to learn from them in order to come to your own conclusions
as to whether it is right for you or not.
With that being said, don't feel like you're going to be a failure or a quitter just because
you leave your job because if you don't do these things and if you don't experiment,
especially when you are in your 20's, then you're going to wake up regretting, and for
all that time that you were upset with your job, or that you were feeling so drained,
or that you were feeling so unfulfilled, you could have spent that time actually taking
massive action to find something that is more aligned with who you are as a person and things
that truly light you up and make you happy because you only have one shot in this life,
so why not make it a happy one?
Another thing that I actually have to add.
Remember that you are the driver of your life.
If you don't like the direction that you're going, then stir the fucking wheel.
Whether it's a small turn like going to your HR department and telling them straight up,
"Hey, listen.
I don't like the situation that I am in.
Is there anything that you can do to help me?"
or the big, big turns, the big U-turns where you up and leave your job and change your
entire career path or go traveling for X amount of months.
That's on you to decide.
It's not on your parents to decide.
It's not on your boss to decide.
It's on you because at the end of the day, you live and you die with the decisions that
you make in this lifetime, so if you only have one life to live, then you better take
control of it because what ends up happening is that life will happen to you instead of
for you.
With that being said, that's the end of the video.
I hope you enjoyed it, and so if you actually want more videos surrounding this topic, then
definitely don't hesitate to thumbs up this video so that I get the message because again,
there's a lot of things that I can talk about.
There's a lot of things that happen after you quit your job.
There's a lot of lessons that I've also learned as well, so if this something that you're
interested in, please thumbs up the video so that I know, and make sure to subscribe
if you want to see my content.
With that being said, wishing you best of luck, and I hope you have a great day.
See ya.