Hey there.
This is Clay with Modernlove.life and this Relationship Inner Game.
Now in this video we're going to start a discussion about the topic of getting over your ex how
to get over a breakup.
OK.
And this is a bit different than some of the topics we've talked about in the past such
as getting back together with your ex there are some different things that you need to
keep in mind.
However there are some things that are fairly similar and that will seem kind of the same
from one side of the spectrum to the other.
And what we're going to be talking about today in this video is the topic of cutting contact
with your ex.
Now if you are trying to get over a breakup then one of the best things that you can do
is to cut contact with your ex.
It is no surprise that staying in contact with your ex is going to continue to agitate
the emotional wound that you have from the breakup.
Every time that you see your ex your heart is going to kind of jump out of your chest
a little bit every time you hear some sort of news about your ex maybe they're dating
somebody new.
Maybe they are spreading some sort of gossip about you or maybe they are.
I don't know flirting with somebody else or something like that.
This can really agitate that emotional wound that you're still carrying from that breakup
and it can cause that to reopen again making healing a whole lot harder and stretching
it out for a whole lot longer.
Now there is a misconception that time heals all wounds and it's not really true.
Time does not heal all wounds.
Actually I've known a lot of people who have been going through breakups and trying to
get over that breakup who have thought that time would just heal all wounds.
However time to really work so well for them.
One of them was actually a close friend of mine before I started to get into this whole
world of helping people with relationships.
He actually got went through a breakup with his girlfriend who moved across the country
to go to school on a college on the other side of the country.
And my friend was heartbroken and heartbroken for a really long time.
He ended up still being hung up on his ex even after an entire year had passed.
So clearly time wasn't working so well for him and even a another relationship coach
that I speak to sometimes he told me when we were just kind of trading war stories one
day he told me that he had actually worked with somebody who who is still hung up on
their acts who still was unable to get over their breakup even 30 years after the break
so time alone is not going to be enough.
What you need to do is to focus on a specific plan for healing.
And one of the things that will create a good context for that to happen in it is to cut
contact with your ex.
You will accelerate your healing.
If you cut contact with your ex no just cutting contact with your ex is probably not going
to be enough.
But it is a great starting point.
This is what people refer to as the no contact rule.
And yes there are different types of no contact rules out there.
There's passive no contact active no contact there's no contact to make your ex jealous
there's no contact to heal from the breakup there's no contact to make your EX miss you
and crawl back over broken glass to try to reach out to you.
There's no contact to help you build the quality skills that you need to be able to form meaningful
connections with other people there's all kinds of no contact but simply just cutting
contact with your ex is an excellent place to start to create the opportunity for you
to heal from your breakup.
So just to be very clear what this means is no calling your ex no texting your ex no emailing
your ex no writing letters to your ex no telling friends to tell friends of their friends to
spread some sort of chain message down through the grapevine to your ex.
No stalking your ex on Facebook.
This is very important to a lot of people do not follow this advice and they stalk their
ex on Facebook wondering what does that mean if my ex liked this post but didn't like that
post.
What did they mean when they posted this photo of them online.
And there's like an arm around their shoulder.
But the rest of the body of that person was cropped off whose body is that.
Who is putting their arm around my ex do not resort to Facebook stalking please you will
save yourself so much heartache by doing so and just completely cut contact with your
ex and take everything that you have in your home that reminds you of your ex.
Put it in a box and either get rid of it or put it in a place where you won't see it for
a very long time or if it's actually your ex's belongings obviously return them.
But please do whatever you can to remove any visual traces of your acts from your wife
for the time being.
Now in the future once that emotional wound has been healed which we'll get to and another
video you absolutely can get back in contact with your ex you actually can take your box
out of storage opened it up and look at all your old mementos and everything like that.
But well you are hearing it is very critical that you give yourself the advantage of really
having the fastest possible healing that you can have by cutting contact with your ex.
This gives you a good fighting chance to really start to move forward.
So if you want to get over your breakup cutting contact with your ex is absolutely one of
the best things that you can do from here.
So with that being said if you want to learn more about how to get over a breakup how to
heal from a breakup.
Here's what I'd like you to do if you're watching this video over on our website modernlove.life.
Just go ahead and quick on the link down below this video that will take you to another page
on our website which will tell you some more information about what you can do to start
hearing from your breakup and getting over your ex.
If you're watching this video over on YouTube.com.
What I'd like you to do is I'd like you to go down below this video and quick a link
there.
They will take you over to our website relationshipinnergame.com.
Now over there I just want to ask you a couple of quick questions it should only take about
30 seconds or so it's very painless.
I just want to know more about your breakup.
What's going on with you.
Some things of that nature.
And once I know a little bit more about what you're going through I'll send you some tips
advice and strategies that will help you to get over your breakup and help you start to
feel more like your old self again so that you can start building a life that you can
be truly happy and satisfied with.
Anyway thank you so much again.
If you liked this video please go ahead and smash that like button.
Subscribe to the channel and please go ahead and leave a comment down below letting me
know what sorts of videos you would like to make in the future.
Once again this has been Clay with modernlove.life and I hope that this video has helped you
improve your Relationship Inner Game.