when i think about sexting i often think
of president warren g harding and his
love letters to carrie fulton phillips
carrie was married to warren's best
friend but that did not stop him from
having an affair with her for 15 years
frequently writing her love letters that
referred to his penis as jerry
here's a word for word 100 real excerpt
from one of his letters
my darling carrie jerry was pondering
your notes in glad reflection and we
talked about it
he was strongly interested and elated
and clung to discussion
he told me to say that you are the best
and darlingest in the world
and if you could have but one wish it
would be to be held in your darling
embrace
and be thrilled by your pink lips that
convey the surpassing rapture of human
touch
and the unspeakable joy of love
surpassing embrace
i cordially agreed with all he said i
don't know why it's so surprising to
think that back in the 1800s men were
still finding ways to send unsolicited
dick pics
[Music]
you drew me a portrait well that's nice
no no
it's just a portrait of his
[Music]
like when was the first one caveman
times
i'm getting off track as soon as warren
received the presidential nomination
carrie threatened to go public unless
she got some cash cash money
maybe solidifying her place in history
is the first case of revenge porn
blackmail
shame on you carrie this is why we can't
have nude things warren could not bear
the thought of kerry releasing their
correspondence because let's face it who
wants the nation to hear that you said
wouldn't you like to get something wet
out on superior
not the lake for the joy of fevered
fondling
and melting kisses
again that is a direct quote which
brings me to the age-old question
to sex or not to sext and my friends all
i can say is if you're a consenting
adult
as long as you call your genitals jerry
and said the most embarrassing captions
possible
why the hell not as long as you're okay
with going down in the history books as
having seriously said
wish i could take you to mount jerry oh
it's a wonderful spot
oh my god that's scandalous
i'm going to get laid upon his return in
a fortnight
journey you must you must land on mount
jerry oh yes after all i have this
birthing
darling perfect for the penis then have
at it
i'm anna akana and thank you to
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