AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Perfectly cut screams are one of my
favorite things in comedy.
Perfectly cut ANYTHING is
one of my favorite things in comedy.
One of my favorite aspects of anything funny
Is how it's pasted and how it's edit--
There are whole subreddits,
and whole twitter accounts
actually dedicated to these type of stuff.
They have collated all of the perfectly cut screams
So I don't actually have to go looking for them
So grab your gamer-phones!
Put on your game faces!
And get ready to laugh! Alright?
Nn-this isn't Jacksepticeye's Funniest Home Videos! I know it's easy to conflate the two!
Different series, okay?! That doesn't say LAUGH!
Now it just says: *smack* *SCREAMS*
It's a different type of video, okay? Alright? Keep up! We're allowed to laugh more than once!
(man in video speaking French)
Ho oh no
*Laughs*
(man in video goes "OH-")
That wasn't really a scream it was of a ergh!
That's not a scream!
A scream comes from within, a scream is loud! Guttural! Strong!-
*in video* Guy: finally now I can keep these pennies to myself.*heavy footsteps* What the hell?!
*penguin in creepy voice* I SMELL PENNIES!
*Laughs* What the ff-?!
What the hell is going on in this video?!
Is THAT where that comes from?!
I've seen people write comments every now and then or write-
Jokes or memes, or somethin', all over the internet, that says, 'I smell pennies'.
And for the longest time, I had no idea what the hell they were talkin' about. Is that what it's from?
*same as before* Finally now I can keep these pennies to myself. *heavy footsteps* What the hell?
*Penguin* I SMELL PENNIES
*screams*
I SMELL PENNIES
I smell like beef
Now that was a good one! That is a perfectly cut scream! I liked that a lot, that's very funny
Did you see me--did you see me smile? Did you hear me chuckle?
That's how you know I'm alive inside! If you didn't chuckle, you might be dead
*TV chatter in background*
*Rasberry followed by dog screaming*
*Laughs* They're so simple!
Wh-h- I thought when he smacked the dog, the dog farted--I thought that's what the sound was
*raspberry & doggo scream*
*laughter*
That's me when somebody tries to wake me up in the morning
Just, *edited in fart squeak* "Sean, wake up!"-- "AAHHH!"
Probably because I'm having dreams about my fear of commitment
*deer makes long squeaking noise*
*laughs*
*deer continues but it gets higher*
*Through mild laughter* It sounds like a door!
*squeaking deer door continues
*lowers then turns to a scream*
*laughing because its the strangest thing*
OH! That one I really like!
*coughs from laughing to hard*
*claps* Yes!
*coughs from laughing too hard*
Which is also a perfectly cut scream video! I had this in a uh, a Funniest Home Videos, video, before-
ALRIGHT, IT'S NOT THE SAME SERIES! THAT SAYS "AHH!" NOT "LAUGH!"
PLEASE KEEP UP! I KNOW THEY ALL TEND TO LOOK THE SAME BUT-
SSSToP IT!
*lady in video- I don't think she's speaking English*
*dog is quietly howling and making weird sounds.
*lady in video- "I love you [unintelligible]"*
*Laughter*
I don't even care if that's fake, I don't even care if that's edited--
I DON'T CARE AT ALL! I-it made me laugh, so I don't mind!
Yes, SHOCKER, the screaming Irish man enjoys comedy that's littered with screaming.
What'd you want from me?
Yes, SHOCKER, the screaming Irishman enjoys comedy that's littered with screaming.
What do you want from me?
None of it's original! It's all redundant--DERIVATIVE is what I was looking for, not redundant--
Turns out, recording Let's Plays isn't 100% original either!
*squeaking deer door!*
*deer scream & truck horn- crash*
*woman in video* Hi! Eee...
*animal screams very high-pitched back*
*woman in video, softly* Hi! Eee...
I love getting subverted expectations!
*laughing*
*laughs* Yes!
*men in video snickering and carrying on* Come on we're gonna do it/okay, okay/ hehehe
*again, lady in video says "Hi! Eeee..."*
*men continue laughing and snickering* go, go, go!
*Man behind camera* Okay do it!
*man in jacket* Goodwill? More- more like BADwill!
*both laugh*
*car horn honking and they scream*
*Man behind camera* Okay d-do it!
Did-did they die?
I-I don't like that at all. No, no, 0/10
*growling doggo* Jack: aww
Doggo: sudden loud "arrgh!"
Jack: offt-Jesus! That's demon spawn!
Good lord! This is what you see before you die; It's a Dark Souls boss!
*guy in video* Dude you gotta stop playing on the road. Jack: oh no Mr. Hotdog!
Guy: it's not safe... Jack: Mr. Hotdog noo!
Guy: like, seriously Jack: Meagan no!
Guy: Dude, dude, there's a car! x2
*video repeats, dog makes same sound*
*Dark Souls death sound*
Jack: HE CAN'T HEAR YOU! Hotdog, no! Rip in peace!
*man plays classic baseball tune*
Jack: At the seventh inning, stretch! *sings* Take me out to the ball game!
*other guy in video* Get your hotdogs! Get it while it's hot! Hot dogs! Git your hotdogs, 5 DOLLARS!
*yells* COME ON DOWN A HOTDOG! BA LA LA!
*screams* COME ON DOWN! GET A HOTDOG! BWAAAAA!
*laughs*
that is what's like to be at a baseball game!
You ever seen that, what is it, that vine video?
*other guy in video* Get your hotdogs! Get it, it's $5 for a hot dog
*in video, slightly louder* Come on down, get a hot dog, $5!
*yells* COME ON DOWN A HOTDOG! FIVE DOLLARS!
*screams* COME ON DOOOOWN! GET A HOTDOG! FIIIIIIII-!
*Sean laughs*
*First boy* Get outta ma seat!
*Second boy whining as they fight, hitting one another*
*SMACk*
*First boy screams*
*Jack laughs* Hoo! Yeah!
*continues to laugh*
Ohh, I don't know what that laugh was!
*laughs more*
*ANOTHER SMACK*
Ohh, I just- I like laughing! What can I say--I'm a giggly boy!
I'm a laughy kind of man, I'm a laffy taffy, guys!
*Jack laughs* Ooh hoo hoo hoo! Yeah!
The perfect slap!
*YET ANOTHER SMACK*
TOP OF THE MORNING TO YA!
Jack: ew, ew, ew! *gags*
Jack: ahhh!
Jack: AHHH, I DON'T LIKE IT, AHHH!
WHY?! GET OFF MY SCREEN!
Uagh! I thought this was perfectly cut screams, not Reddit 50/50!
Ugh, that was gross! Don't spit in my eye!
You spit in my eye, I wanna scream!
*kid screams again*
And starts to drool into your eyeball, it's time to get new friends!
They don't sound very nice [they don't]
*gags* it's making me- it's making me nauseous
*people scream and laugh* Jack: oh no!
Jack: oh h-! *laughs while everyone screams*
Did this guy SERIOUSLY try and pass back a HELIUM balloon?!
You spit in my eye, /I'm/ gonna scream!
It's like, "oh no, I saved it. Aha, here's you balloon back little girl!" *he says with extreme sarcasm*
"Oh, it's full of helium? OH... DICKS!"
They don't sound very nice
*Guy in video laughs*
*shouting in video*
Have you--I'm Irish, okay, so everywhere I go in Ireland is just a farm, so that technically means there's wildlife-
*takes a breath* everywhere, all over the place! Some of the people, in Ireland are wildlife.
I've had geese
Heh, let me rephrase that, my family have had geese on our property
I'm not just suddenly a father of geese
And, they go for the knees!
Alright? Geese, knees, they rhyme for a reason!
It's probably also because they're at knee-height for everybody, some people
I'm you're super tall, like I am, then yes, they always go for you knees.
Some of you... are a lot shorter
But geese will kill you if they had the opportunity. If geese had TEETH-
They would be the apex predator of this planet
*Very high pitched sound from boy in video*
Jack: *Laughs* WHAT?
*High pitched sound again*
OH- it sounds like someone let air out of a balloon!
*Yet another, high pitched sound*
I'm you're super tall, like I am, then yes, they always go for your knees.
*Chuckles*
I've seen that one before, but that's a better scream
"HAAAAAAAAAA!"
Oh, this is what I've become? Is this all my channel is now?
*scoff*
I'm a man of simple pleasures, okay? Let me have this
Let me just be happy, with my little screamy things that make me laugh
*Yoshi's island music*
*Yet another, high pitched sound, in time with the music*
*a human scream*
*Jack chuckles and it turns to laughter*
AAAARRRGGGGH!
*Breaks down from laughter*
*Into hands* Oh GOD!
Jack: Oh I thought it was over!
Oh my god--that return!
*Jack coughs from all da laughs*
"AAAARRRGGGGH!"
*Laughing more*
Oh, whoever made this video, you're a fucking hero!
*Jack chuckles and it turns to laughter* *screaming dies down*
*rips and a scream? (No, no, it's the dispenser!)*
*Jack laughs*
That really does sound like a person!
*human like scream* WAAHHH!
*Chuckles*
Oh, man--see, we really don't get that in Europe.
Not many places in Europe have paper towels, which is really annoying!
Because I much prefer to use paper towels to dry my hands with when I leave the bathroom and I've done my business
When I have to dry it under the thing, I'm always like,
"Ugh I have to go dry my hands now, everyone's gonna look at me cuz the hand dryer's like--"
"BUGH!"
"Okay, I'm dry! Leaving!"
Oh here it is! Somebody else had this!
*laughs* Yes! The best one!
*Dog whining turns from dog whining to weird human-like scream*
It kinda sounds like me!
That scream at the end actually sounds like me!
*breathes in* AHHHHHHH!
Brilliant. That's the, uh, Jacksepticeye 20- *pauses*
"Ugh I have to go dry my hands now, everyone's gonna look at me cuz the hair [he means hand] dryer's just like-"
"BUUUUUUGH!"
*laughs* He says as he immediately proves your point
*Jacksepticeye scream*
Ooh, ooh! This is reminding me of another one of my favourite ones!
Ooh! Another vine video! God bless vine, do you all miss it? I miss it
This one, this is perfect as well, this has to be somewhere on this websites as well!
*in video* soft ahh *Jack laughs*
*slight bigger/louder* ahhh!
*screams at top of lungs* AHHHH!
Jack: *Chuckles*
Oh *clap* beautiful!
Vine! We miss you! Please come back into our lives!
All we're stuck with now is stupid Tic-Tok!
Which isn't funny!
I miss it! I miss vine! I never thought I'd say that, but I do, I miss it.
We need to all go back, to the original Scream King.
The original person, who--
Made screaming, ICONIC
I'm talking of course, of our friend Tom! From Tom & Jerry
Does Tom have a second name?
His name is Tom Cat. Apparently
Um, very original
All we're stuck with now is stupid Tik Tok!
Jack: LEGEND
*More high pitched screams*
Jack: I love Tom & Jerry
*Yet again, a high pitched scream*
YES!
*bang and Tom yelps in pain*
Jack: It was the best!
*Yelling/screaming??*
I miss Tom & Jerry!
*High pitched scream AGAIN [only this one goes on for LONGER!]*
That's the one! That's the one I was looking for!
*Tries to imitates Tom* AHHHH HO, HO, HOOOO!
I can't do it-- one of his other screams I can though
Tom: AHHHHHH!!
That one--AHHHHHH!
*Laughs*
Tom! My hero!
Maybe that's why I love screaming, Tom & Jerry was one of my favourite cartoons when I was a kid
AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!
Jack: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
Tom, you're the best! Oh, I'm gonna watch Tom & Jerry after this!
*more screaming*
*Slams table* Well! that's gonna be it boys & girls- I froze my camera
oops- we had some laughs, but more importantly, we had some screams. And that's all you need in life, really.
That's all this channel is; laughing, and screaming
And sometimes you play a video game or two, but that's crazy
I hope you all had FUN! *clap* I hope you all SUBSCRIBE! *clap*
I hope you all LIKE the VIDEO!
I hope you all COMMENT on the VIDEO,
I hope you all RING THAT BELL!
I hope you all follow me on TWITTER, I hope you all follow me on INSTAGRAM
If you don't, you gonna me SAD, make me do a heckin' *breathes in and prepares*
AAAHHHHHH!
Can somebody do an edit of the--*laughs* the screaming cowboy song?
With me over it? That would be--that would make my heart sing, thank you
But that's gonna be it for me, I'll catch you all on the flippity flop!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
*"I'm Everywhere" by Technoaxe playing*
*Imitating child* "Mom? Why is that man yelling?" *Imitating mom* "Don't look at him."