All right.
So you guys want to hear the story or what?
- Yes. - Let's go.
[INTERPOSING VOICES] - Let's go.
Let's go. Come on.
Here we go. Here we go.
Here we go. - All right.
So we're at Ceres, right?
Which was the bar at the bottom of the board
of the trade building, right?
Just this little bar in the lobby, right?
But the thing is, the place opened at, like, 6:30
in the morning so that when traders, when they lost
their ass when the market opened,
they could just-- you know, they could
walk over and just get fucking hammered
in this little fucking bar.
Anyway, the name Ceres was named after [BURPS]
a goddess of agriculture.
Sorry. And--
You and your fucking stories.
Someone's jealous they weren't invited, huh?
I would not have gone.
You would have fucking gone. Hey, Carmy.
Pass some parm.
- Yeah, I got you. - Yeah, that's the parm.
Anyway, on top of the building, there
was like a statue of Ceres.
And her back, for all of you historians,
was facing towards the East.
And that's because all the trading
had just moved to the Midwest.
So the architect, John Stores, legend has it,
he built this statue.
It was like-- it was like a big fuck you.
Christ, wake me up when the story starts and the fucking
class is dismissed.
Trying to tell the story.
I'm trying to tell the fucking story.
So anyway-- just let me have this.
Anyway, so the point is, we're out all night.
We're drunk as shit.
We're fucking high as shit.
We figured the only place that's still open, of course, Ceres.
And being 6:45 in the morning, we
are right to assume that the place is going to be
a fucking ghost town, right?
No, no, no. Fuck off.
Sugar.
Get the fuck out of here with those raisins.
- We are not doing raisins. - Don't do that.
Mom always added raisins.
We're not fucking doing raisins.
Anyway, Cousin.
Was it a ghost town?
It was not a ghost town.
Not only was it not a ghost town, it was a fucking rager.
Yo.
It was fucking packed.
It was just like, hoo!
Right?
All fucking Blackhawk fans.
And Cousin, who was there.
Savvy.
Oh, get the fuck out of here.
Savvy!
Denis motherfucking Savard, number 18.
18.
In the house.
Hey.
But not only that, no, no, no, no, it does not stop there.
[INAUDIBLE]
Fucking Balfour.
Let's go!
Right?
That's cool.
The night before, Savvy had gotten
inducted into the fucking Hockey Hall of Fame.
We walk into this giant fucking party.
I mean, it's going off, right?
Fucking brouhaha.
And this motherfucker, he's somehow--
this curious fellow, he somehow gets
his hands on-- what was it?
It was like a-- it was like a Ceres pamphlet or some shit.
Yeah. It was behind the bar.
All right. So he's--
Behind the bar.
He's reading aloud about the history
of the goddess of agriculture.
And somehow in that process, he somehow
decides that he, too, has this deep connection
to agriculture, right?
So he takes out his phone.
He starts leaving this outgoing message, right?
What was the fucking message?
Hi.
You have reached the voicemail of Richie Jerimovich,
the goddess of agriculture.
I truly did.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
So dumb.
Shit is genius.
The goddess over here, he's trying to leave this message.
But he's a puddle.
He keeps fucking up.
It's just getting louder and louder and louder.
And somehow with all the cacophony
and all the fucking nonsense, with all
the fucking hullabaloo--
Yeah.
We hear this fucking voice ring out.
And the voice says, what are you doing?
Right?
And right in front of us, this guy, he turns around.
Who was it?
Bill Murray.
Bill Murray. - Of course it's Bill Murray.
Oh! Oh!
Oh!
Bill fucking Murray.
He's right there.
Bill fucking Murray actually says to Richie, he says him,
he goes, why are you doing that?
And Richie says, because it's funny.
He fucking says that to Bill Murray.
Because it's funny.
And Bill Murray says, no, no.
No, it's not.
That is not funny.
He goes, give me your phone.
Yeah.
And he goes, what's your name?
Right?
I mean, Bill Murray says this to me.
The king.
Fucking Bill Murray. - Yeah.
No.
I understand who that is.
If you call me, you can hear it,
I get it.
Call me.
I still got it. - I believe you.
It's still on my phone.
I'm good.
Really?
Thank you.
You don't want to hear it?
You guys were at a bar at 6:45 in the morning?
Yeah, but, I--
the whole point of it is--