Every trick in the book won't be enough
if you make this deadly mistake
during your coaching sessions.
Even I make it sometimes in my own coaching sessions.
So the awareness that you could make this mistake is vital.
I run a podcast called Master Coaching With Ajit Podcast.
And in that podcast, very often,
I would bring on individuals that wanna get coached by me.
Now, usually I would pick people
that I have never even spoken to before.
Our coaching session is fresh and new,
and so it brings in a lot of their past,
a lot of their present, and a lot of their future.
They bring in a lot of their fears,
they bring in a lot of their concerns,
they bring in a lot of their anxieties
and past behaviors.
And so, like a coach, I become really heart-centered.
And when you're really heart-centered,
you really want to help.
And in that effort when I'm coaching them,
I'm working with them, we are doing back and forth,
I forget and make this cardinal mistake.
I try to cram too much into a single coaching session.
You see, because you and I are heart-centered individuals,
we want to be able to help our clients,
we want to be able to support them in their journey.
We try to see if we can truly help them,
and help them a lot during a single coaching session.
And in that effort,
we end up doing too much in a single coaching session.
I remember taking some of my clients
through so much stuff during a coaching session
that at the end of the coaching session, they said,
"I feel overwhelmed.
I feel concerned.
I feel like we are not complete.
I feel like I need to keep going on.
I feel like I have opened a lot of wounds,
but I don't really know what to do next."
And that really means that our coaching didn't land
with our clients, because when we lean into coaching,
as trying to solve all the problems in a single 30 minute
or an hour long session,
what we are setting ourselves up for
is putting so much pressure on the client,
putting so much pressure on ourselves
that we will more likely than not overwhelm them
with everything that we have to deliver.
See, coaching is about progress.
Coaching is about being able to take the next step.
So what we are really trying to achieve
in the coaching session is to help them be able
to take the next step,
not all the rest of the steps
for the rest of their lifetime, but just that one next step.
If we can help them take that next step,
we have created progress in their life.
We have broken their mold of reality
and given them a way to grow.
When we give them one next step,
they have taken the one step forward
towards growth in their life.
And that's really where success of coaching lies,
because every single time
when we have a conversation with them,
they're able to now take further actions,
further actions, further actions
when we are in that coaching session
and coaching setup with the client.
Here are four simple techniques
that you can use going forward
that will help you not run into the same problem.
The first technique is always define
what you're going to focus on in a coaching session.
Now, most coaches just start the coaching session
by simply asking, "What's coming up for you?"
While that's a great question,
it often makes the session undirected.
There are a lot of things that are coming up for any person
at any given time.
There might be a thing that is coming up in their career,
there might be something around health,
there might be something around relationships.
If you lead with a question like,
"What is coming up for you?"
you may actually set yourself up to have a coaching session
that is all over the place.
So always set a very clear goal
before you start your coaching session
clear goals can be defined fairly easily.
You could ask simple questions like,
"What would you like to work on today?"
Or you could ask, "Hey,
we had that insight from the last session.
Shall we continue from there?"
Anything that gives that particular coaching session
a clear goal, a clear outcome that we could focus on,
or direction we could focus on
would help you creating more concise follow up steps
and also a bigger breakthrough with your client.
The second key is to keep a notepad
or some kind of writing device alongside
while you're taking a coaching session.
The reason is because you want to log any breakthrough
that you feel the client may have had,
and also help your client notice
if they are having a breakthrough,
if they're having a moment of insight,
if they are starting to see something
from a different point of view.
And it doesn't mean you're writing all the time,
it simply means in the moment of breakthrough,
you're writing the breakthrough.
The reason why we ask you to log these mini breakthroughs
or major breakthroughs during coaching sessions
is because they will most likely define the next steps.
If a client has a big breakthrough
in how they perceive their relationship,
it is advisable that the next steps,
or the follow up steps,
are also in the same direction,
so the client can fully experience
and bring that breakthrough into their life.
When these mental psychological breakthroughs are translated
into behaviors, actions in our life,
we create a real transformation in our day to day life.
The third key is to define the next steps.
Every time you're about to end your coaching session,
or a coaching session has gone to a place
where it feels like, wow,
we've had some big breakthroughs already,
ask your client what the action steps would be.
What would they do next to bring this breakthrough,
this change in their life?
This gets your client to get into an action mode.
It helps them really make sense
of everything that they've learned
or experienced during the session
into an actionable task in their day to day life.
You can also help your client define these next steps
if they find it difficult to be able to identify
what exactly should be the next steps.
Which brings me to the final thing that you wanna remember.
You see, when you are in a coaching session
and your client is already full,
when it feels like they've had the transformation
and whatever you did really worked,
it's okay to end your coaching session slightly early.
It's slightly uncomfortable,
and sometimes it may throw you off
and your client off a little bit,
but when your client is full and you keep pouring,
your client feels overwhelmed.
You don't want your client overwhelmed,
because it'll get them into a state of inaction.
You want your client to stay in action.
So ending a session a little bit sooner
is actually a good thing.
You can even communicate with them your reasons
to end that session slightly earlier.
Now you know what not to do in a coaching session.
You also know a little bit about how to mitigate that risk.
But to deliver a powerful coaching session
and a powerful coaching package,
you need to have a powerful session plan,
and I'm gonna show you how to deliver
a three-month power packed coaching plan
in this next video, see you there.