Hey there, I want to talk about Gabby Petito
and the fact that I believe that she was a victim of a malignant narcissist
and I'm going to be breaking it all down in this video.
I am Rebecca Zung and I am an attorney.
I'm a narcissist negotiation expert and on this channel and in these videos.
I talk about ways that you can shift the dynamic with narcissists.
So I invite you to subscribe and hit that notification Bell.
So, today, I am talking about something that I don't necessarily enjoy talking about,
and that's malignant narcissists
and malignant narcissists have an overlay of being a sociopath
and so they can tend to be violent have threats of violence
and can be dangerous and I have seen it a lot in my practice,
you know, when I was practicing family law, actively,
and saw them threaten
and so I want to talk about the signs that I saw just,
you know, in the video with Gabby Petito
and I also saw when you hear about the interviews with her friend.
and some of the other signs leading up to the fact that she ended up,
unfortunately, no longer with us.
and it's so, so tragic, especially in light of the fact that there was an interview with the police,
just days before she ended up,
nfortunately, being found dead,
and as a mother, myself, as a mother of two daughters,
I have four children. I have two daughters and two sons.
But I also, you know, I have a daughter who happens to be 19,
and I look at her and I see my daughter and I just,
it's absolutely heartbreaking. It's absolutely tragic.
and I can only imagine how heartbreaking it must be
for her parents to know that she was
so close to being safe right there with the police.
So, you know, just going back and giving a little bit of history of this case.
For those of you who don't know that much about it,
This case basically kind of takes place between July and September of 2021.
That was when this young couple they set out to take this trip in
this white van this white Ford Sprinter.
We have Gabby Petito who's 22 years old,
her boyfriend, Brian laundry, who's 23 years old.
They were engaged. They had been engaged since July of 2020.
There's actually some kind of back and forth about whether or not
her parents,
even knew that they were still engaged.
I guess she had told her parents that they were no longer engaged.
He believed they were still engaged.
But anyway, they had lived with his parents.
His family in Florida for about a year
and they decided to embark on this cross-country trip in this van
that they had kind of converted into a camper.
They start off by going north to New York,
they visit her family and then they start heading west
and they visit some national parks
and they document their trip on social media through YouTube and through Instagram apparently.
They get into some sort of altercation and that happens on August 24th.
So in August 24th, this couple spots
them getting into some sort of an altercation
where they see him slapping her.
So they call the police. 911 is called. The police stops
this van, and that's when you see this body cam video,
that's now been released, and and anybody can go on YouTube and watch it.
They pull them over. She's crying,
she's upset, and there are all kinds of
indications during that interaction that
she's actually a victim of a narcissist. When she gets out.
She's crying. She immediately blames herself.
“I was the one”. “I was distracting him”.
Who can see right away that
she's blaming herself?
and she's upset and she's crying and to the policeman's credit,
you know, he's very calm with her, very kind,
ask sort of, you know, “sit in the police car”,
you know, it's okay. You're not in trouble, you're fine,
but you can see by her body language that she's afraid.
She's actually terrified.
She's holding herself. She's making herself small
She's scared and by contrast Brian is outside.
He's open. He's breezily having a conversation with the police
and calm, cool, collected and talking with the police officers and totally fine,
and in fact, what I find very interesting is when the police officers said something about.
Oh, maybe you are really the victim of the domestic assault.
What does he do? He actually smiles this big wide smile
you know,
and listen, if he were really a victim of domestic violence.
Would he really be smiling? Would he be so delighted?
No, he would not. He would most certainly at least be neutral.
He wouldn't be laughing. He wouldn't be smiling.
I mean, so this is this is the the look of a narcissist and then,
you know, there's so many red flags.
He's in this situation. But that was certainly a huge red flag,
a massive, huge red flag, you know,
the fact that she's blaming it all on herself.
Honestly, is a red flag to me.
That is a huge red flag,
the fact that she's crying, that she's scared,
that she's blaming it all on herself.
That is a huge red flag to me because honestly,
I believe that she was afraid of backlash, that she was afraid
that when they got back in that van and the police were gone, that he was going to freak out on her.
“This is all your fault. You are the one that invited this. You caused the police to get involved”
and she didn't want that to happen.
So she was afraid whether it was going to be physical backlash or verbal backlash,
emotional backlash, whatever it was going to be. That she was
going to be punished later down the road.
Why was she so scared? Why was she so terrified?
Why was she in the back of that police car,
crying, sobbing terrified,
was she terrified of the police officers?
Clearly not, they were being very nice with her.
Very sweet with her, very calm with her.
What was she so afraid of?
Clearly, she was afraid of what was going to happen
after this whole thing was over.
So that was a huge red flag for me,
as far as the boyfriend was concerned.
How was he? Where was his concern for her?
Was he saying anything about her?
Was he worried about where she was?
Was he worried about the fact that she was upset.
Absolutely not, and by the way,
she's blaming all of the altercation and everything on herself.
Did he do that? No, did he even say…
“Oh, it was both of us. We had an altercation…” NO.
He blamed it all on her too.”
She grabbed the wheel. She made me swerve”.
He threw her right under the bus as well.
I mean, this is the mark of a narcissist.
No problem telling the police that she's the problem.
Clearly, no problem throwing her under the bus.
Very, very narcissistic. Absolutely
no conscience whatsoever.
No concern for her and no concern for her future.
No concern for the fact that she may be upset
and by the way, not even neutral,
you know, not even the fact that,
you know, he's like saying,
“hey it's both of us. We got into an altercation.
We were upset”. None of that.
Just “it's her”. Obviously,
there are times when maybe it was both of them and maybe she was,
you know, the aggressor to and blah blah.
maybe she was slapping back. But you know,
I believe that in this particular instance,
having seen a lot of these types of cases that this was a situation
where this was not one of those situations.
I've seen situations where the woman was,
you know, right back in the face of the man and fighting back and partially the aggressor as well.
This is one of those situations.
This wasva huge red flag to me
and here's another red flag to me.
The fact that she was saying things like “I'm trying to start a blog and I'm,
I'm blogging and he doesn't think that I can do it.
He doesn't believe I can do any of it”.
If he calls it, her little blog.
Those are also indications
of a narcissist devaluing something that she's trying to do.
Jealous of her, that she's trying to do something, minimizing the
fact that she's trying to do something
the fact that she's doing anything that may
take the spotlight away from him also,
very, very narcissistic, jealous of anything
that may take her away from him.
Also, the fact that her friend Rose Davis who's also 21 years old
One of her friends [stated] that he was extremely jealous,
that he was manipulative, that he was controlling that they were having more
and more frequent arguments. That he once took her identifications
so that she couldn't go out to bars.
that he didn't approve of her relationships, that he was isolating her from
her friends, constantly jealous of her friends,
worried about her leaving him all very,
very indicative of a narcissistic
type of personality,
dominating, controlling, manipulative
and these are the types of warning signs that you should be
looking for, when you are in a relationship
and looking to see if maybe it's not the type of relationship that you
should be in. Another huge red flag is after she disappears.
So September 1st, He shows up back in Florida, in the van.
She's not with him. Where is she?
and he's not talking. This love of his life, supposedly, and he's lawyering up, and not saying a word.
That's a huge red flag.
Obviously, if he were concerned,
“oh my god, she disappeared”.
Wouldn't he be going: “Hey World!”
“Help me find her everybody!”
“Help me find her, she's missing”
but he's not doing that
and now, all of a sudden he's gone too, by the way,
massive, huge red flag
and now of course, the worst possible outcome,
she's dead.
So these are the types of red flags that everyone should be looking for
when you are in these
types of relationships. Very, very sad,
very, very sad, and especially because it was,
it was right there. She was right there with the police and clearly something could have been done.
You know, I don't know.
Obviously the police had no no grounds to hold her
or no grounds to hold him at that time.
But geez, too bad that nobody
was able to pull her aside at that point
and say, hey, this is not a healthy relationship for you.
Maybe it's time that you get out of this relationship.
So I feel like it's important for all of us who have a voice
who have a platform to say:
If you are in a relationship that is not safe,
that is not serving you, please call the domestic abuse hotline,
please go to your nearest shelter.
There IS help for you out there
It is Ok
to go get that help,
and I'm going to be making sure that I
drop links below to the domestic abuse hotline.
Go get the help that you need.
Thank you very much.
I'm Rebecca Zung and
I do ask that you subscribe to this channel if you want more tips
and tricks on how to powerfully negotiate with narcissists.
Thank you very much.