Let's move on to our main story.
The big discussion in the U.S. is,
should we let poor people die or not?
Or as Americans call it, health care.
Because Donald Trump was elected
to enact his health care plan.
The way to make health insurance available to everyone
is to lower the cost of health insurance,
and that is what we are going to do.
We're gonna have great plans.
They're gonna be much less expensive,
and they're gonna be much better.
Everybody's got to be covered.
I want to take care of everybody.
I'm not gonna cut Medicare or Medicaid.
It will be better health care,
much better, for less money.
Not a bad combination.
Wow.
Trump is healing everybody.
Even Jesus is like, "Wow, those are some bold claims, man.
"I mean, I'm more of a
"'touch me and see what happens kind of guy.'
"I might cure your leprosy or you might turn into wine.
Roll the dice, baby, roll the dice."
So with all these promises, Americans were looking forward
to a health care plan that would be nothing short of tremendous.
And when you need something tremendous in Washington,
there's only one man to turn to,
boring Jake Gyllenhaal, that's who.
Two weeks ago, Paul Ryan released
the official House Republican health care plan
to replace the evil that is Obamacare.
And like a new tanning salon,
President Trump immediately supported it.
I'm proud to support the replacement plan
released by the House of Representatives.
I think we're going to have a tremendous success.
It's a complicated process, but actually, it's very simple.
It's called good health care.
(laughter)
It's complicated but it's simple?
He so didn't read the bill.
Come on.
No, I mean, that's exactly how I gave my book reports
when I hadn't read it, you know?
I'd be like, "This story,
"was so powerful,
"and, like, you know, like,
"the way the two species were just... (crying)
"The mice and the way--
I'm sorry, Miss, can I be excused?"
(crying): "It's so powerful right now."
But, look, no one realistically expects the president
to read every first major bill that he supports. Come on.
Especially a president who's got other (bleep) to do.
This man's got to run his golf course, people.
And right now he's also got to run around
smashing all the White House microwaves.
this poor man has to cook his food old school
because of the situation.
Of course Donald Trump didn't read the bill--
he trusted Paul Ryan to make his promises come to life.
And that's the big question:
does Paul Ryan's health plan deliver on Trump's promises?
Well, let's look at some of the major ones.
Uh, for instance, Trump promised a health care plan
that would cover everybody.
The CBO report with some tough numbers for supporters
of the Republican health plan.
It is a bad report for the, uh, for the Ryan bill.
REPORTER:
would leave 14 million fewer people
insured by next year.
And a total of 24 million fewer
by 2026.
Aw.
No, that's-that's so cute.
The CBO thinks we're gonna make it to 2026.
(laughs)
Aw.
Aw, you guys.
24 million fewer people will be covered.
And, by the way, those numbers don't come from haters.
They come from the notoriously nonpartisan
Congressional Budget Office.
These are the experts who analyze legislation
and predict its impact.
They have nothing to gain. They're just trying to help.
They're like black dudes in the movie theaters
screaming out (bleep)-- "Oh, (bleep)!
He's behind the door! He's behind the door!"
They're just trying to help.
So Ryan's plan definitely won't cover everyone.
That's one Trump promise broken.
But what about Trump's commitment to lower premiums?
REPORTER:
would spike 750%.
A 64-year-old with a $26,000 salary
could see a huge spike in their premiums,
from $1700 a year under Obamacare
to nearly $15,000 under the GOP plan,
a nearly $13,000-a-year increase.
A 64-year-old would get a $13,000 increase?
God damn.
What did old people ever do to Paul Ryan, huh?
Why would he do this?
Like, maybe his grandfather gave him some black licorice
once in the day, and-and little Paul was like,
"One day, Pop-Pop,
"you and all your friends will pay.
"You'll all pay.
"At least $13,000 more
than you were paying before, Pop-Pop."
Now, those are only two examples.
But the more you look into Paul Ryan's plan
the less it looks like what Donald Trump promised.
And Trump's people are beginning to realize that.
REPORTER:
who are in his ears saying, "Get away from Ryan.
Call it Ryancare. Shelve this whole plan."
-Urging him to move away from it. -They're concerned
that he's jeopardizing his presidency
by basically backing this plan.
I-I like how Trump surrogates are worried someone else
is gonna ruin Trump's presidency.
They're like, "Trump can destroy his own legacy,
thank you very much."
And people, let's be honest-- as soon as Trump gets the vibe
that this bill is making him look bad,
you know he's gonna ditch it.
He's gonna ditch it and he's gonna pin it all on Paul Ryan.
And watching Ryan lately,
you get the sense that he knows this too.
Obviously the major components are staying intact, uh,
because this is something we wrote with President Trump.
Really, Paul Ryan?
You expect us to believe that Donald Trump
helped
The same Donald Trump who can barely write a tweet?
That Donald Trump?
That guy?
We all see what you're trying to do, Speaker Ryan.
You know your Obamacare replacement bill is crap.
And now you're trying to throw Trump under the bus.
But you don't realize that's not how it works with Trump.
Because Trump
Trump's not going down for his mistakes. He never has.
Yeah.
You're gonna be like, "He-he wrote this bec..."
(imitates thumping)
It doesn't happen to Donald Trump.
He... The bus never... He is the bus.
Everyone tries to get Donald Trump.
Look at Rachel Maddow.
She thought she had him on his taxes.
She was like, "Did you guys see he only paid..."
(imitates thumping)
People are like, "Thanks for wasting our time, Rachel."
(imitates engine revving)
I mean, even people who are just
near a Trump mistake are run over.
Remember the pussy-grabbing tape.
Billy Bush-- he didn't even say much.
He was just like, "Yeah, yeah. (giggles) Yeah."
And now he's banished from society.
Trump was like, "pussy grabbing."
Billy was like, "What..." (imitates thumping)
Now he's living on an ice floe fighting polar bears
and fighting for scraps of fish.
Donald Trump
I hope you've got good health care.
'Cause that bus is coming.