*Wapish* Top of the morning to you laddies. jiiii
,
and welcome back to Ultimate Epic Battle Simulator.
We're gonna try out a few things that you guys suggested.
And also some things that I kinda wanted to do on my own.
The main thing that people were suggesting we do- um... Santa?
OOOH!!! The game updated again!
Oh, okay. Well Santa's gonna be trying out soon
I didn't even know he was in the game.
Awesome! Right, uh-
What? Uh, probably just this map.
Um. People want to see me do Chunk Norris vs. Chunk Norris
That's probably the biggest request that I've gotten.
Um- out of anything.
Chunk Norris vs. Chunk Norris
Cause last time we found out that Chunk Norris can't die.
Or at least I found out, you guys seemed to know already.
I want to put them at opposite ends of the bridge.
And I want to have them run at each other
And battle it out in the middle
Where are you Chunk? Get over here ya big bastard.
Listen to this inception ass music going on
The dream is collapsing! Right- okay
Chunk Norris vs. Chunk Norris.
In my head all that's gonna happen is that they're just gonna keep slapping each other.
Their health is gonna go down and neither are gonna win
and we're gonna be here all day.
Which doesn't sound that fun but... whatever.
Here we have it.
Brother vs brother.
Ready to duke it out
And do the bidness
You guys ready to fight each other?
Show me your game face, Chunk *Jack makes weird game face*
*Pro editing by Robin* You were my brother Anakin. I loved you!
I hate you!!!
Okay, and fight!
Here we fucking go
Here we go- yes, Chunk vs Chunk. Kill each other
Error, Chunk Norris cannot fight Chunk Norris.
Float value beyond infinity.
Override of Time Space Continuum failed. Aw!
Aw, but that's cool looking!
They were just about to kick the shit outta each other :(
Aw, Man! Tha- Ok, now I get why people wanted to see me do that so much
'Cause EVERYONE was tellin' me to do Chunk Norris vs Chunk Norris
you knew that was gonna happen, didn't you (yes we did your fans know all)
Man, that's lame
Ahm, did we get anything else that's new?
Spearmen? did I use them before?
I dunno
I'm gonna try a motherfukin' SANTA
Inanimate?
*Confused Jack*
have a dresser ok I want to change the
map to this one we'll go out into the
desert this is an inanimate dresser
versus an inanimate table what? Oh my god
winter dresses versus a hundred tables
oh my god they move! hahaha why is this a thing
that can happen oh Jesus Christ they're loud can
you guys actually kill each other though?
that's a bigger question oh yep yep shit
is going off right now the dressers are
winning the dresses are bigger tougher
stronger. Why? Why is this a thing that can happen?
It's cool though I love weird shit.
I'm glad that it's not just like Oh
Romans versus Spartans or whatever. It's
like actual weird shit penguin chickens
zombies pork Sank like the
dresses are going to win it makes you
make good money on a unit it would be
the suppressive lose weight but ha not
today city tonight today move no I can't
a calculating I can't if I bite back oh
ok I couldn't move at them for some
reason they can move themselves ah here
we go see you later fuckos you'll never
take me alive the best not gonna win now
hahahaha you guys got it you find table
brothers I don't know I was very bored
in that fight there you have it folks
wrestlers win if you're ever in any
doubt what part of your furniture would
win the dresser or a table if you ever
thought what it would be like for those
two go head-to-head in battle on which
one would win dresses I'm not even gonna
be able to look at my table anymore not
even going to be able to eat dinner off
my table anymore cuz it sucks eat dinner
off my dresser from now on I want to
keep all the food and the little drawers
here we have Santa what if we put Santa
vs penguins what don't think it's good
one to me we're going to put you in the
Avalanche map though it's only right ok
these are the Penguins and you guys are
going to duke it out on there on the
snow I don't know how strong Santa is
the 300 hell's 45 damage so he's not
that good he's not like a chunk Norris
kind of guy so I'm gonna have to balance
this out a small bit 250 sentence
they can t just want one Center what and
we have 50 penguins just to set it off
we get a little barometer for Santa
action right now sent action Santana I
don't know where it is big jolly poker
today possess you yet no okay and our
penguin should be over here okay there
they aren't round you guys you're ready
to battle oh wait please don't go over
there please actually meet on the ice I
don't know why I put them so far apart
all the time look a little tiny tentacle
well let this little red bead hi little
egg thank Harry him that far that's
adorable i want to control Santa fucking
go yeah oh how old bitches can it can i
swing oh poor the golf ball I'm here in
avalanches but we're not in avalanche
center right now so that was a bit
louder than it probably should have it
come on you penguin bitches fight me
fight me on the ice oh god it's going to
be a penguin massacre go Santa kick the
shit out of them oh my god that's
fucking broken
are you crazy bastard
okay he didn't last Raila he killed one
enemy hello he killed to the penguin we
have flawed or Santa what has become of
him oh you you bastard you kill them
there's no preference okay so one point
like till two penguins so 25 sentence
should be able to kill all the Penguins
it should be fairly even then right cuz
math and shit maybe I don't know I'm
gonna put you close to this I man bottle
oh oh holy fuck that's a nice-looking
team I mean normally I'd root for the
penguin but I kind of want Santa to win
because he's awesome he brought me so
many gift and he was nice to me all
these guys getting split off this could
be bad or they could flank them pincer
maneuver no they got they got to start
the Santa's got the brutal action
immediately I don't even think any of
these centers are going to die oh my god
the fuck the penguin manatee of it all
on the penguin turns out you can't trust
math class is bullshit there's two more
things that I wanted to try one of them
involves a world war two US soldier I'm
gonna have one or should I let me see
this I'm going to customize a world war
two soldier US soldier he's going to
have a movement speed of times 10 so I
can get out of out of the way what I
want to do is put up a US soldier versus
like a thousand zombies I don't want to
see if the soldier can fend off the
zombie apocalypse just one good um and
he's going to have ten times I'm double
his attack I don't I don't to make them
crazy overpowers i'm going to call you
and Brad pitch like in World War Z and
then I'm just going to put them up
against regular zombies where are you
Brad Pitt you are agreeing so you are
here he's going to be up on top of the
hill facing down against them and the
team of zombies are going to be down
here even though their centers or the
penguin Random evil zombie we're going
to have about that's good because if he
has increased movement speed that means
if he's getting into trouble than he can
still get away but he's not super
overpowered that he's just going to kill
them all instantly he still has to fight
for a small bit if I can control this
guy wherever the hell he is serious okie
dokie day here we go yes
can you can you shoot he's not shooting
this is movement speed times 10 oh wait
this top Jesus I didn't pick the right
guy here we go they did it it it it it
did it it and it did it existed can you
shoot you cook there we go now he's
actually shooting right here we talking
on oh sorry you saw me bastard I have
next to kill any of them yet Oh God look
like a dude a little G look at me thrust
look at his ass go ok I'm actually
killing them now yes fend off the zombie
horde one man can do anything he wants
if he sets his mind to it dinner ok we
may have to back up here now in a second
oh god oh god oh god okay okay go go go
because I mean you're able to kill a lot
of them but you're not the strongest the
main bhi head just a lot of them I don't
even know if headshots do anything in
this we're lying unlevered a bro we will
not go quietly into the darkness we will
fight okay let me just show me show me
up onto this he'll take Andy to get it
so are you fucking zombie bastards just
eat you oh god they're coming around
they're flanking they're smarter zombies
or smarmy I didn't know that smarty I
thought you were just a delicious candy
but no they are a form of enemy or is
you can shoot and move with the same
time all I can do is stand here and wait
for them all down it's not working here
we have to hate
you've gotta be kidding me are you
serious did you take fall damage you
stupid son of a bitch okay it's not
going to work like this I have to pay i
have to head to the peanut our village
and that's how is the freedom you get
into getting in again you're terrifying
dudes I got you yeah so scary this is
this is where we hold them this is what
I'd be able to go shit dish still my
blaster take a few of them all they can
figure them off before you head into
town we have to save the villagers we
have to save my people pepper them all
over the mall I'll thank myself in the
long run make it easier please some of
them are dying some of them are being
nice yeah let's go this way pepper a few
at the back yeah you sons a zombie
bastards you are next up this Tommy fire
700 freedoms per minute hahaha miss
Tommy fire 700 freedoms per minute as we
carefully don't walk off and die I just
trying to get them all super low on
health so then when they actually come
into the village I can start all one
shotting them that'll be super awesome
okay we have to make a stand that one of
these streets and then as they come down
I unload freedom on all of their faces
new zombie dogs don't come into this
village don't come into my street I will
protect the bullshit the coming from the
left what am I going to do Oh No seem
slightly ineffectual they seem to be
much stronger have an idea have an idea
blankie blankie maneuvers hurry off
didn't it it did it but ball sweet Jesus
there's so many of them
oh god this is bad this is bad this is
really really bad this is bad for me for
me oh god hi okay upon to the tower oh
shit this is about a year I've no we
don't off this without dying oh oh
because if I Roy that I'm good at I'm
going to fall off then get hurt okay
unless unless they can do this yes yes I
got through okay Tower is a bad idea but
one of their smacks took half my health
that's also terrible we already have
Captain America so i'm going to call
this a general freedom I think that's a
good way upon them for american eagle or
american apparel for something like that
ah general freedom is a good one I like
that okay die die faster they're fast
and they're strong and there's lots of
them wrong was it my friend like a heart
rate my fellow showed you may have come
to help me we can do this Lud just save
your coins will we're through listen
your general future you we can win this
war one piece of freedom at a time ah
raking to barricade men and it'll be
able to derail a shooting there's
nothing over there soon zombies down
here though I'll get some of them don't
worry here we go yes I'm helping I'm
helping because I care oh god they're
going to break the defense's guide you
guys you need to shoot better and faster
and stronger shoot up stupid oh oh oh oh
no your general has died there is no
hope and you're on your own now no
general fraid of ye I should have known
he was who awesome the blip wolf with
hold him contain him
well they acted too when this is less
interesting there's so many bodies wing
a battle-ax held in deep some guys come
up and in some fall off it looks like
they're still going to win it keep good
zombie tank it in fast enough to be able
to stop these guys I've been here for 87
years still 400 of them left you guys
the HP waitin I'll be I'll be back
eventually it's going to go get a drink
you guys go you want anything beer
Twinkie and no okay okay I'll be back
oh no oh no they've broken through but
they've heard of them all into zombies
no my madness what it become of this it
was awesome who's so cool but the
zombies attack other people they turned
them into zombies when they killed him
which i think is really really cool but
it's very ugly no ill ah episode of
ultimate epic battle simulator I'll be
back I'll be back for more there's more
units the test certain there's more
scenario so they wanted to test out with
this is kind of dragging on its more of
it so I do it in the next one I want I
want to get a full-on zombie apocalypse
going on that's got to be real fun well
I hope to keep updating the game as
regularly as they have been because it's
really coming together and I'm glad
they're adding more units all the time
I'm a new maps all the time there's a
play test area map now that I want to
try out next time as well but for now
Thank you guys so much for watching this episode
if you liked it, Punch that like button in the face!!
LIKE A BOSS!!
and High Fives all around!
Thanks you guys, and I'll see all you dudes, IN THE NEXT VIDEO!!!
(Jack's cute outro music!)
don't record first thing in the morning
I don't have a voice for it Oh